Teens and friends

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  • November 2, 2020 at 6:45 pm
    rhondajennings68
    Participant

    For the past year, my son has been friends with another boy in our neighborhood.  This boy lives with his divorced mom and his aunt (who is not his biological aunt).  I have suspected that the divorced mom and aunt are gay.  I am also concerned that this other boy is exhibiting behavior that makes me question if he has gay tendencies.  My son is almost 13 and this other boy is almost 15.

    Am I wrong for discouraging this friendship? I have discussed this matter truthfully with my son and as a family (my mom, my son and myself) are praying about it.  I don’t want to be cruel towards this other child but am concerned about the influence on my son.

    Also, his mom is very concerned about Covid and since March has not let her son play with my son.  He is now riding his bike down to our house every day around the same time.  I think he is sneaking down to see my son.  I am not sure that he has permission to play with other kids right now.  Of course, if he is disobeying his mom, this would also concern me.

    Thanks for responses!

    November 3, 2020 at 1:41 pm
    Becky
    Participant

    I don’t like these kinds of situations. They can be tough ones to deal with or to know how to handle them.  I was in a similar situation only minus covid and it was right next door. gulp . Every time my 2 children would go out to play, the child next door would come running over into our yard. The boy shared with my children what his mom was doing.  The mom was gay and had just ‘married’.  I’ll tell you what *I did. It really was the only thing I knew to do and I was desperate.  My mind was thinking how do I handle this. How do I talk to my children, how much should I say….These are people, people with feelings, I don’t want to hurt them.   There was no fence between the two yards and I was contemplating the cost of putting one in but that would take some time and wouldn’t completely solve the issue. So, I did the only thing I knew…I took the whole situation to God. I prayed. I told Him all about my thoughts, fears etc.etc.  I knew He could help us to know how to handle the situation.  This doesn’t always happen but in this situation God completely took care of the problem.  Its wasn’t but a short time later that they moved away to another state!  I mean that shocked me.  They had just a few months before bought the house next to us and now here they were moving out.  I  know God doesn’t always answer in that way but I do know He cares and He loves you and your children and also the other people. He knows your concerns and I hope you find a solution that will be just right for your situation and family.

    And by the way, I did still talk to my children, calmly,but briefly and with frank honesty about the lifestyle.  I felt words were put in my mouth that were not my own and I give thanks to God. He has numbers of ways to help us in our time of need.

    November 3, 2020 at 1:49 pm
    Becky
    Participant

    And…..I’ve said all that, but yes, I’m facing some other situation with our DD that includes a neighbor girl….

    I appreciate a place like this where we can get help and ideas from all of you out there who’ve been there too… from schooling to life’s challenges etc.

    Thank you SCM for this discussion forum!

    November 3, 2020 at 4:27 pm
    rhondajennings68
    Participant

    Becky,

    Thank you so much for your response. I have definitely prayed about this.  I don’t want to be cruel to this child.  I am trying to balance between protecting my son and being kind to this other boy.  Such a tough situation.  Thankfully, we serve and love a God who can handle all situations!

    Happy Election Day!

    December 13, 2020 at 3:20 pm
    fivefoll
    Participant

    As I read through your conversation, and think about situations that we have come across in our children’s lives, something came to me.

    I thought about Charlotte Mason and the children she had in her schools. Surely not all of these children came from homes where the bible was highly regarded, and I wonder if it was even mentioned in some of them. However, it seems that Mason believed that all children have the ability to be good. And that persistent, good influences like living stories and the bible, etc would definitely make a difference. She also mentions that children should be able to play while an adult was looking out/watching over without interference unless necessary.

    As we have opportunities in our own family right now, I am going to pray how best to apply this into practice. Even with covid, we can be creative and hospitable. I know that it will take greater effort than just allowing the kids to “go play,” but the labor of it will surely be beneficial……

    Having a small group of friends that know each other really well and have common respect for God and his teachings can help children be able to minister to a child that needs friends. Maybe we can share ideas that have actually worked right here in this thread and then others can benefit.  I will post as I try things, even small ones as the Holy Spirit directs.

    May God bless our efforts as we look to his leading!

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