tattling – how do you deal with it?

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  • Lesley Letson
    Participant

    My oldest likes to cheerfully tell me when his 2yo twin brothers are getting into something they shouldn’t (which they do alot!). Usually it is something I need to deal with but that only seems to fuel his flame to tattle more – it is pretty clear he gets excited when he can be the police and get them in trouble. How do you all deal with tattling? I don’t want to ignore what my little ones are doing just because it was found out via the tattle line, but I would like to nix this bad habit of my eldest. Thoughts? Help? Please?

    Sonya Shafer
    Moderator

    When my kids were little and tried to tattle on each other, I would try to use it as an opportunity to reinforce helping each other in a spirit of love. So when the tattler told me what was going on, I would ask the tattler, “And did you remind her in a kind voice what she should do instead?” If yes, I would thank the child and go deal with it. If no, I would encourage that child to go help the other one in that way. And usually I would accompany her to supervise the conversation and encourage peacemaking.

    Usually I could tell the spirit of the tattler by the tone of voice she used. My goal was to cultivate a spirit of genuine concern for the sibling’s well being.

    nerakr
    Participant

    How about when the 6yo puts the 2yo up to it and then tattles on her?

    Nerakr, this has happened many a time at my house.  What I started doing, once I caught on, was punishing the older one.  My 2 boys are 4 years apart and my oldest still tries to do this occasionally.  I examine the situation and if I feel the 9 year old put his 5 year old brother up to it, I will punish him instead and make him clean up any mess. 

    Shanna
    Participant

    Sonya,

    Thank you telling us how you did/do it. What an encouragment.

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