support

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  • dsulliv1
    Participant

    Hi,

    I have been reading off and on for several years, here, but have not posted much. I am not sure why I am posting here, but I think I just need to hear from people who have homeschooled through high school.  I am feeling so discouraged in many ways and I am losing a few of my main support friends.  Last year, my best friend sent her daughter to high school, and then enrolled her younger ones in Classical Conversations.  We have been family friends for 10 years, have done many, many school projects and experiments together, and our kids have been best of friends.  This was a hard blow to me.  Then, today, I learned another one of my dear friends is putting all her kids in school next year.  Again, we have been friends for 9 years and our kids are good friends.  One of my boys is best friends with her son, and all the other kids have been so close for years.

    It makes me question my ability to keep going.  Although I have a daughter who will be a Senior next year and has homeschooled throughout, she is an exceptionally bright and dedicated student.  She has been extremely easy, and is now taking classes at the community college.  My other three are harder-one has depression, and struggles with school work.  I, myself, live with chronic pain-everyday I hurt.  I have to take medication to function through the pain.  So it isn’t easy for me.  I am not complaining (well, maybe a little) but I certainly see many reasons to stop homeschooling.  My kids friends are in school now, we are extremely tight financially, our house is always messy, my meals sometimes consist of chesses and crackers, and I hurt every single day.

    Do I keep going? Do I do Classical Conversations and go in debt?  Do I unschool?  We took our spring break this week, which gives me some time to think.  Can i really homeschool three more kids through high school using CM?  Is CM enough for high school?  I am so concerned about my boys (I have 2) because they will be the bread winners, they need a good education.  Ca n I really do it?  I have really never questions homeschooing before, but I am feeling weary, weak, and burn out.

    So, if anyone here who has homeschooled high school with CM methods, I would REALLY like to hear from you.  How did your kids turn out?  Did they do o.k. oTn ACT/SAT?  Did they get into a college?  I am sorry this has been so long.  Thank you for “listening”

    Blessings,

    grace

    p.s.  If anyone knows of a good book that is motivating for homeschooling, I would love the name!!

    retrofam
    Participant

    My oldest graduated last year, and I wouldn’t trade homeschooling him for anything! It was not easy, but worth every minute. I enjoy being at home, and the semester he was in school years ago was my most stressful. I was not good at keeping to the school’s schedule, rules, carpooling, homework, etc.

    I challenge you to follow God’s leading for your family, and don’t compare. God equips those He calls, so you can do what He calls you to do. Even if all my friends left homeschooling I would stay. My husband says that if I die young, he will find a work at home job, so he can homeschool our children. We are that convinced and personally called.

    I pray that God will make your path clear and bring peace.

    Blessings,

    C

    curlywhirly
    Participant

    I home educated my oldest 2 through high school and even with the struggles we had I wouldn’t change a thing. In fact hubby and I have started over with 2 little ones and we are committed to go all the way with them too. We had similar issues to what you describe, my older sons both have some serious mental health challenges, I have osteoarthritis and fibromyalgia, financial challenges, friends who left home ed, the works. It was not only worth it, but I think we had better outcomes than would have been possible and other way. One of my sons has a black belt in tae kwon do, and is about to finish his AA, honor society, transferring to a 4 yr school, etc. I had to learn to manage my own health issues better, finances (we will finish paying off all our debt next month!), and find new ways to keep my young men connected and focused.

    You can do this! Take some time to pray and regroup and you will find your way again.

    Sue
    Participant

    You know, your friends’ experiences in life are not necessarily yours, so their decisions regarding their children’s high school education aren’t necessarily going to be yours. And your pondering questions about how your children will turn out in adult life remind me of something else I went through when my son was much younger. He is autistic, and he was not potty-trained #2 until he was 5….and people would always tell me, “Don’t worry–he won’t be going to college in diapers!”

    Of course, they were right, and now that seems a lot less difficult a time than it did back then. Each season of life has its own challenges, and it’s easy to throw in the towel too quickly. I wouldn’t jump into unschooling without doing your homework on it & giving it careful consideration. I know there are many unschoolers who become responsible, productive adults, but just as CM methods are not for every homeschooling family, neither are unschooling methods.

    I think perhaps you may be looking more towards either not following CM completely for awhile or just easing up on schoolwork for a period of time. I’ve heard plenty of moms here talk about scaling back to a lighter schedule during a difficult pregnancy, an illness, or while addressing a child’s medical needs. Sometimes this needs to happen during a move to a new town. I’m sure most of them will tell you that, in the end, not much ground was lost (if any) and they were able to get back on track later on.

    I don’t know the ages of your younger children, but if you really have the heart’s desire to homeschool them and are in a position to do so, you won’t “ruin them.” On the contrary, putting them in school might do them more harm than good. Sometimes it’s necessary, but I can almost guarantee it would not be a good environment for your child with depression.

    As for the messy house and less than gourmet meals, this might be a good time to focus more on habits and life skills for your children. They can help keep the house in order, plan meals and cook them, help when you shop for groceries–and most of those things involve math, science, language arts in one way or another. If they do not already help in those areas, you could certainly use the next weeks or months to train them. Those lessons will be with them for the rest of their lives. A little book that I found helpful to motivate & give some direction with habit training is Smooth and Easy Days, which happens to be a freebie from the SCM Bookstore. If you like that, you might want to then move on to Laying Down the Rails.

    If you want to read something about CM methods and high school, the SCM blog has a series of articles from a few years ago on that topic, and you can read them here. I hope you take some time to rest and think about what you’d like to see for your children’s education in the next year and beyond. Just take it a little at a time for now. Your experience is just that–your experience, and not that of other families you know.

    Blessings,

    Sue

    sarah2106
    Participant

    My siblings and I were all homeschooled K-12 and it was great! We all received scholorships from the ACT/SAT tests as well as maintained GPA to keep other scholorships. We all felt very prepared for the “real world”.

    I so enjoyed being HS’ed and was blessed to be involved in many activities, have a part-time job and time with friends through highschool. My public school friends wanted to be homeschooled 🙂

    anniepeter
    Participant

    Ditto everyone else.  Unschool if you must.  it’s certainly better than the alternatives, I would say.  We’ve done a fair amount of that (though I never called it that…it just happened).  God will give you grace and direction if you seek Him in your need.  My oldest had excellent ACT score and less than CM schooling for much of her high school years.  My second (son) is totally different, not nearly as self-starting…but he’ll do fine too, in his own way and time.  He’s 18 and quite independent…milking cows on his own 6 hours from home.  Now he wants to get back at school, so he can prepare for further education.  They’re all different, but we’re giving them the space to be what God created them for.  It’s hard to get that without home schooling!  Persevere so far as you can, and don’t beat yourself up where that ends.  All the best to you!!

    dsulliv1
    Participant

    Thank you all SO MUCH for your honest and genuine support.  I feel much better and more prepared to tackle school next week.  No, I don’t think I could unschool and feel o.k. about it.  At times Iwant a more relaxed approach to our schooling, and other times I think I get scared and begin adding in more “stuff”.  it is all about trusting God to lead me and i know that if I listen, he will direct.

    This group is so important to me-thank you all again,

    grace

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