Starting Habit Training with a 13 year old boy?

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  • Sabrina
    Participant

    Am I crazy to even think this will work?  We are having a lot of issues and he really needs some habit training, but I can’t imagine getting any cooperation.  He’ll be 14 in Dec. and he’s #9 in our family.  There is a lot of defiance and we are really struggling with this last child.  🙁

    We’ve been using HOD (Heart of Dakota) for the last couple of years which incooperates many CM methods.  I’ve been reading quite a few of the CM books recently and wish I had done this with all of my children, but didn’t, so here I am trying to figure out how to start the habit training with this son.  I have the Laying Down the Rails book and CD, do I need the workbook?  It looks good, but I don’t want him to think it’s to “babyish.”   Any thoughts?

    Blessings,

    Vicki

    Cortney
    Participant

    I might approach things a little differently with a child of that age.  Start by making a short list of the character traits / issues that need to be most urgently addressed.   Meet with him.  Ask him if he sees any areas of struggle that he needs to work on in the last years of his childhood (before the consequences REALLY matter).  Maybe discuss his areas of strength first.  After the meeting with him (or towards the end) decide together on one area of struggle to focus on.  Meet with him daily for prayer around this particular area.  Focus on the wins in this area and gently point out the continued struggle.  Try to add books to his reading list that point out others with the same struggle (who overcome?  or even face serious consequences as a direct result?) or with those who excel in these areas of struggle for your son.  The same with movies – if that works also.  Also consider things around the house that will help him work on his area of focus.  For example, if the issue is not doing his best work – identify 2-3 chores / household tasks each day that he can do to work specifically on this.  Then diligently meet with him to discuss his progress.  His father should be very involved in these “meetings” as well, if possible.  I think some of the activities in the Laying Down the Rails maybe “babyish” for that age, but the idea is still the same.

    HollyS
    Participant

    I’m using the LDTR for Children with all of my DC, including my 13yo.  Some of the activities may be a bit on the young side, but she’s enjoyed many of them.  I’d take a look at the sample pages and see if it’s something that might work.

    Another idea that I’ve been reading about in The Living Page is to keep sort of a commonplace book that focuses on one habit.  So they could add Bible verses or quotes about patience (or whatever habit you happen to be working on).   Although, it should be something they add to themselves, and not something mom assigns.  😉

    retrofam
    Participant

    We like Character Sketches because it works well for older ages too, and includes examples from nature.  We study it as a family twice a week.  I am just as challenged by it as the kids.

    Sabrina
    Participant

    Good ideas!  Thank you!  I’m actually dreading even bringing it up because he’s so against everything, but hopefully I can make it work.  🙂

     

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