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OT: Consumerism
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A few weeks ago I posted about Christmas shopping. Tonight as I was straightening up before bed, I was grumbling about how we have TOO much of EVERYTHING! Too many toys, too many clothes, too many books, too many craft stuff, too many homeschooling items. I realize it’s my fault – I bring it all into the house as I find things on sale or get a great price for something at a thrift store. Getting rid of things is difficult because my husband and kids don’t want to let any of it go. I try to thin things out and donate stuff every couple of months, but when I ask them to help me gather stuff we will donate, everything becomes SO important. I read about minimalism and would love to work toward that, but all I see is a mountain of things in the way – literally! I realize that there will be some stuff, like homeschooling things, that we’ll just have and I can deal with that. But I feel like consumerism is taking over my house. The kids ask for something every time we go somewhere. There aren’t any tantrums when I say no, thank goodness, and overall they’re thankful kids. But I feel like our culture and when they see their friends with all the latest junk influences them. We can’t exactly just go live in a cave and never come out though.
Does anyone here practice minimalism? How do you do it?? Any suggestions on where to start? I can’t live in a house busting at the seams, or I’m going to go crazy!
Oh, yes, the journey to minimalism. We’ve been on it for awhile now. Different things have worked at different times and for different kids. My husband is a keeper also but I left him alone for a long time. After he saw the progress we were making and the difference we were making, he wanted to declutter his stuff so I helped him (he is a definite big picture person and has a hard time doing things like decluttering). We are still working on the garage.
I have snuck stuff out of the house although I don’t recommend that. First, you may actually get rid of something that someone does really care about. Second, it doesn’t teach anyone anything.
Some ideas that have worked at different times:
Giving all the kids a specific amount of space to keep their things. If their things overflow they have to get rid of something. Right now, my younger crew (under 13) have a 18 gallon Rubbermaid tub and part of a bookshelf for their stuff. My over 13 group have a footlocker and a whole bookshelf. This works well since it’s the space that determines what they keep, not me. Plus, with the exception of food or certain nature things that might rot/smell/attract bugs, I let them keep whatever they want in their space. We do keep group toys separate from this – so we have a lego dresser, a 9 cube shelf with cars/trucks, dollhouse, farm/animals and play food, some doll stuff (crib, highchair, stroller) and dressup clothes. So the things in their “treasure drawers” are actually theirs.
Once I packed up everything, yes, everything. I made them wait 2 days and then they could ask for up to two things 2x a day. This did two things. First, it made them realize how much easier it was to keep things clean and how much more time they had to actually play. Second, it made sure that they got to keep their absolute favorites since those were the things they remembered to ask for. It was a bit of a pain to store all those things for awhile but well worth it with how much we got rid of.
After reading a blog, I mentioned to my kids that the things that they probably have the things that they really care for in special places not just strewn on the floor or mashed in a pile. This really helped my creative super pack rat kid. He realized it was true and has since gotten rid of a ton of stuff himself (he’s 13).
Recently we did the Kon Mari method (based on the book The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up). Basically she has you (or your kids) touch everything and figure out if it “brings you joy” (you’ll know – and if takes you long to decide, it doesn’t : ). This has helped immensely, esp for my pack rat kids. They became very good at deciding what was really worth keeping this way. I do recommend starting with things that aren’t as emotionally charged first (this is mentioned in the book also). She recommends clothes but you’ll have to determine this for your family, of course. This is when my husband jumped on board so I helped him Kon-Mari his clothes first. He now loves it so I’m helping him with his garage.
I’ve found that as we’ve gotten rid of things, we are less tempted to bring things into the house. And, yes, I was a garage sale, thrift store queen. But now, I usually just stay away so I don’t fill up our newly found space. Since you are usually the one who brings things in, I would recommend making a list of what you absolutely need/want to bring in and then buying only those things if they are a good deal or you really need them now. Otherwise don’t buy no matter how good a deal and how much you think you may want it in the future. It will make things easier on you. A good motivating book for you: Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne.
Hope that helps some. I’ve seen a much calmer peaceful atmosphere in our house from this process that I’d love to help you if I can. It’d probably have to be online but I’d be willing if it would help you.
-Rebecca
Rebecca said a lot of what I was going to say! I think it is always a journey and you never really arrive, but with a family of 11 in a 1200 sq ft house we’ve had to be careful to keep clutter to a minimum. My kids have a limited ‘space’ for their personal toys/treasures. In one bedroom I have 5 boys and they have a dresser where each one gets a drawer for their treasure space. We’ve also had bins with lids in the past as their space. The girls have a similar setup but it is shelves in their closet instead of a dresser.
I was also going to suggest The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo, with a few caveats. 1. Borrow it if you can. Just because you don’t need another thing coming in the house. Or get it on Kindle, like I did. 2. Some of what you read will probably make you shake your head as she’s pretty ‘Eastern’ and respects her things/talks to them/thanks them. For our family as Christians we simply chose to thank God for the things instead. Hang in there anyway, the book is helpful! 3. When she wrote the book she had no children. (She has just had a baby in the last 6 months or so). So she is not a homeschool mom with kids. She would have you get rid of nearly all books, papers, and doesn’t address toys at all. However the principles apply – keep what brings you joy. She also says you do NOT do anyone else’s things, but if you have young kids I would suggest you do theirs, with or without their help depending on the kid, and you guide your not little kids through the process with you.
One key at my house was that I started with MY stuff. I had a blast. The rest of the family saw how wonderful it was to have room in my drawers, space on shelves, etc. They wanted to try it. I let them help me do the kitchen a cabinet at a time – because they had zero attachement to those things. It was fun. Then they wanted to do their own things. We did clothing next for them because it is less attachment prone (which she suggests). We then moved on from their as each child was ready or interested.
Just this weekend my 11 year old son went through his personal storage drawer to clear out a few more things he decided he was ready to part with. I asked him why and he said, “Well, I really haven’t used those things and I know I will get a few things for Christmas so I want to make sure I have room for what I want to keep.”
I was going to mention what Tristan mentioned about beginning with your stuff first, which I think is very important.
We do the Flylady system here. When I do a 27 fling boogie, I begin with my stuff and let the kids join in on reaching the 27 items in each category. If I begin with theirs or make a big stink over their stuff, we get nowhere. My husband is a collector of tools, bike parts, etc., so I really don’t know what is valuable. When we declutter together, I always ask if this or that is a keeper or not. I don’t declutter any of his papers or junkie stuff without his permission 🙂
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