Need some advice on graduating amd age?

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  • jill smith
    Participant

    HI, I am curious on what other do for graduating their kids. I graduated our oldest and he went off to college and now is in banking and married.:) Our second son is 18 and not sure about graduating him yet. Am I in the wrong. Getting a lot of slack from family on “You have to graduate and get into college and a good job”. He has a job on a local dairy farm and LOVES it. No desire to go to college and will keep living at home. He hasn’t taken Gov/Eco yet and maybe one other course.  Why are we so fast to move our kids on and send them out into this crazy world. Am I the only one that sees it that way? Maybe Im overly protective:/ Some advice would be great!

     

     

     

    Melanie32
    Participant

    I think this decision can be different for each student. What does your son think about it? What are your husband’s thoughts?

    Are you required to teach Government and Economics before graduation in your state? The answer to that question makes all the difference.

    If not, I think I would go ahead and formally graduate him while keeping an understanding between the two of you that he will still finish those courses in his spare time. If you are conservative, Prager U has great, short videos on Government and Economics that he could work through.

    My son is nearly 22. He graduated right before he turned 18 and went straight into the work force, having absolutely no desire to go to college. He is still living at home and saving for his own house. He has a nice down payment saved up and is waiting for the right house to come up for sale. He has a really good job and we are very proud of him. College isn’t for everyone!

    Patricia Docter
    Participant

    Well, I don’t think 18 is the magic age for graduation it has just become the standard.  I have a niece and nephew who have and  will be  18 through their senior years.  Most states and colleges want to see the government and economics courses on the transcript.  I think I would tend to lean towards completing those courses and then graduate him.  I’m not going to graduate my dd until she completes all of the courses needed for graduation.  They could change their mind about college later on, no sense leaving something undone.  But I guess the question is whether your son wants to finish up those courses or not??

    Melanie32
    Participant

    The reason I recommend graduating him (if it is legal in your state), is because it could cause him to be made fun of or looked down upon to graduate so much later than his peers if he is already 18. That would mean he would be 19 before graduating high school.

    While, I do think it would be worth it to hold off another year in some needed cases, I don’t see your son as one of those cases (from what you have shared here). If he only needs one or two credits, I would graduate him while continuing those courses, unless the law requires them before graduation.

    I live in Florida. Here homeschoolers are not required to meet public school graduation requirements. If I were in your situation, I would graduate my son for social reasons and hold off on making his transcript until he finished the last required courses. The other option would be to add those courses in now and do them at an accelerated rate. It really doesn’t take that much time do Government and Economics. They are not long, difficult courses.

    Again, if there were a good reason to have my child graduate at the age of 19, I would gladly take that route. I just don’t think that one or two courses should delay graduation for a homeschooler (unless they are required by law). It would essentially be holding him back a grade and making him repeat his senior year which seems like an awful drastic step to take in my opinion.

    Sue
    Participant

    I would go ahead and graduate him this May/June, give him the ceremony and party (or whatever you would typically do), then have him take the government course and other course over the summer or in the fall.  With only two courses to get through, he would probably finish those quickly and you could add them onto his senior year on his transcript.  If he doesn’t need a transcript to get into college within the next year, it really won’t matter.  But he can still say he was “Class of 2017” and enjoy all of that.

    I have a friend whose son had a summer job at a horse therapy ranch, and it turned into a full time career that he loves.  He had a course or two to complete after graduation, and he got them done over that summer.  Her two daughters graduated the following year, even though they “should” have been a grade apart.  The younger one was simply a quick-learning student who moved ahead faster.  They are so close as sisters that they were thrilled to graduate together.

    It all really depends on your son’s needs.  If he’s ready to graduate (and finish those two courses later) and he’s happy with his current job, then that’s a good thing.  You can politely and firmly tell the family that you and your son are doing what is best for him, not how someone else decided things should be.

    Suzq
    Participant

    We took the route of adding an extra year for my son. He, like you had a couple more courses we wanted to complete. He didn’t want his Party until he finished. He is graduating this year and is 19. I see no problem with that at all. He needed the growth time. He is planning to go to college in the fall and we made his transcript by subject rather than by year. He applied to 5 different schools and none of them had a problem with the transcript. He was accepted to all five schools. In your case, if he is not going to college, it would be no problem to do the transcript by subject. You can have your party whichever year serves your purposes the best.

    alphabetika
    Participant

    I am with those who say to do what best meets your son’s needs and desires as well as what you and your husband think is best. Your son sounds like a wonderful guy, and if he has a job he loves, he’s ahead of the game. So many are in the opposite situation – graduated with a college degree and unable to find work in their fields, at least in Southern CA where I live, or applying to schools that have no room for them. For instance, one of the state universities my middle daughter was interested in applying to reports that EVERY SINGLE MAJOR is impacted at their school.

    I have a homeschooling friend with five children who purposely delays all academics until her kids are 7. This means that her children have all graduated or will graduate high school at age 19. This has been perfect for them and she has no regrets. The three that have graduated are all doing great in their very different situations.

    My case is the opposite. My oldest daughter, for various reasons, took the high school exit exam when she was 17 and “graduated,” though she didn’t have all the required high school credits from homeschooling. This was what needed to happen and we have no regrets. She is now married and managing a fancy coffeehouse, helping to support her husband as he earns a master’s degree.

    My middle daughter graduated at 16 with all her required credits, spent a couple of months serving at a school for the Deaf in Uganda, came back and started her community college education with the spring semester. This year, she did the same thing – spent part of the fall semester at the school in Uganda, and is now finishing her spring semester at the community college. With another year at the c.c., she’ll have an AA and hopes to transfer to university as a junior in 2018.

    My youngest dd is going-on-8 and I have delayed academics for her much more than I did for her sisters, because that’s what she needs.

    I guess I’m rambling here, but what I really mean to say to the OP (and anyone else) is that, IMHO, your best course is to do what works for your family and don’t worry what others think, unless you have sought their advice as trusted advisors. In my experience, there’s often more going on behind the scenes that others don’t realize, whether positive or negative, and more going into these decisions than others may need to know about. I never planned to go the route we did with my oldest, but it needed to happen that way in her life. Plenty of people thought we were nuts for allowing our 16yo daughter to go alone to Africa and work at a school in a rural area. But it was the right thing for her and we supported her in it. My youngest would probably be considered “behind” other 2nd graders in our test-obsessed area, but at home, she’s thriving.

    All the best to you and your family. Everything will work out!

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