Need Desperate Help

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  • poohtebby1
    Participant

    I am in desperate need of guidance. My kiddo is far behind in almost every subject especially in language arts. I don’t want to go into to much detail but my kiddo is several years behind. There is a NUMBER of reasons she is behind but all that has been rectified. One of the biggest reasons, was because we weren’t sure why she was having such difficulty reading.

    All the moms in my homeschool group advised me not to worry about it and that she would “catch on”. Then proceeded to say how wonderful their children read and that it will all come naturally. (This didn’t happen so I was extremely discouraged.)  Anyway, as she got older, it became even MORE difficult. We FINALLY have a reason. We thought she had a disability of some kind, so she was tested. She is very active but testing only lead to the fact that she is a kinesthetic learner. I was told kinesthetic learners are harder to teach. (More discouragement!)

    We took her to a DIFFERENT eye doctor, and he found that she has a wandering eye. When she was reading the words were moving in a “s” form AND the prescription the previous doctor gave her was incorrect. (The wandering eye couldn’t be detected by just looking at her.) She now has corrective glasses BUT she is WAY behind.

    She is 13 going into 8th grade, but she is actually farther behind then the one year. I have 1 year left before high school and I am scared that if I can’t catch her up there is no way that I will be able to tackle high school. My hope is to get her caught up and maybe put her in classes online. (such as K/12 or something to that affect)

    Due to the fact that she is so far behind in reading, I want to focus on her reading for the next 3 months and see how much I can catch her up. After all the testing our resources are low so I can’t keep buying curriculum hit or miss, which has been what I have been doing, I was advised to look at Charlotte Mason because it would be a bit “gentler” in catching her up. I have purchased Using Language Well 1 and Spelling Wisdom 1. I don’t see how this simple approach will catch her up. Nor do I really know how to use the dictation.

    If I sound panicked, it is because I am. That’s not even the most humbling part…here is the humbling part. I am not very good at grammar and I feel like I should give up and send her to public school or enroll her in online classes. (after I catch her up). If we send her to public school, they will more than likely put her in a class that would be a special needs kind of situation and the school in our district isn’t somewhere I want her to be. School wasn’t easy for me, but I didn’t give up and I made it through against all odds. I don’t want give up on my daughter, but something big has to change.

    If anyone can help me, I can’t tell you how much I would appreciate it. I truly don’t want to give up, but I don’t want to hurt my daughter any further by letting her get even more behind. I have so much more to say but I think I’ve captured the main idea.

    If you’ve made it this far I appreciate you taking the time to read my long post. If you can’t help, I would appreciate your prayers.

    Holding on to Hope!!

    Stephany
    Participant

    Don’t panic, I know, easier said, than done. You are doing great by having your daughter tested and finally knowing what’s going on. You haven’t ruined her! You can teach her to read or “catch up” to her level. You can!! Trust yourself and her!

    Having worked in the public school system in CA and my husband still does (high school) there are children in high school who can’t read past 1st/2nd grade level and they just keep getting passed without any help. The special education system is a crutch for most kids/parents and most do not help students “catch up” nor succeed at any level, to be honest. At least, this has been our experience with working alongside special ed department and their students. There are some exceptional special ed teachers, but few, very few.

    I think you could do a much better job than the public school system!! I will be praying for you and your family for peace and guidance.

    My kiddos are 6 and under. And so I don’t have much experience. I taught my 6 year old to read using the BOB books and the “I Can Read It!” Books 1-4 and Word List book, you can find at rainbow resource. I started using the BOB books with my 4 year old, but he lost interest and prefered the McGuffey revised primer. My 6 year old is using the orinigal Mcguffey 1st reader, also found on rainbow resource. I have had great success with MCP phonics workbooks and McGuffey readers. Also, check out Mom delights dot com. She has a wonderful free gentle grammar curriculum. I use it with my 6 year old. She is a great resource on how to teach with the McGuffey’s as well. I’m sure you will get plenty of wonderful advice and encouragement from other mamas here.

    Smile!

    Joanna Simmons
    Participant

    Hello there, I am so sorry that your daughter had to wait so long for an accurate diagnosis. I am hoping now that she has the proper corrective lenses and know her learning style that you can get going and get her where SHE needs to be! The McGuffy books are so sweet, I myself liking the original best as well. As mentioned above Mom Delights has some resources as mentioned above. The other program that I wanted to tell you about is called The Good and The Beautiful language arts curriculum (by Jenny Phillips). It is wonderful! I actually started using that for my struggling reader and it has helped immensely.  You can go the the Jenny Phillips website and look at their very generous sample pages. Levels 1-5 are downloadable for free, however, the printed is VERY reasonable and beautifully done. The levels don’t necessarily correlate with  grade level so you can put your child in wherever she tests. If she breezes through it easily and quickly, mover her up! They go up through highschool but I would start somewhere in the lower levels. Hope this can be helpful to you two! Good luck to her!!!! (and you mama! 😉

    retrofam
    Participant

    Here is how I see reading education. K-2 is all about them learning to read. 3-6 is gaining fluency(smooth reading), making sure they understand what they read, and being able to break down large words into syllables and read them, and figuring out the meaning of words from context.

    I don’t use a reading curriculum for the 3-6 part. With my method, if the child learns to read eventually and gets through the 3-6 goals, it doesn’t matter if they were behind. They will catch up.  Spelling too.

    If she gets to highschool and needs her books read to her by computer or another person, or audio books, so be it. That’s fine.

    As far as which curriculum to use, Charlotte Mason inspired curricula tend to have shorter, focused lessons, which works well for hands-on learners. There are several good ones to try.  We use Queens Language Lessons and Spelling series, but SCM may be a good fit for her.  Time will tell.

    Good job figuring her reading out!

     

    sarah2106
    Participant

    I would seek out audio books or methods that read the book to her (there are a variety of apps that do this now with ebooks) that way she can hear the book as she follows along to help her continue progressing and not just getting stuck. Be willing to read to her and encourage her along the way.

    I would not feel pressured into “catching up” because it really is step by step and can’t rush forward with out a solid foundation. I would teach each subject where she is at. If behind in some teach at that level and at grade level in other subjects teach at those levels. That is the HUGE benefit of homeschooling you can teach the student where they are at.  That is something you would loose if you tried K-12 or another online program because she would have to do only 8th grade, not be able to mix and match.

    We liked Get Smart Grammar. It is a bit of an investment but it is taught by video clips and my kids really liked it. They preferred her teaching method over me trying to teach. It is something I never thought I would try, but it worked for my kids. Be willing to explore different options for different subjects. Many programs now offer audio as well as text books so the student can follow along in their text while listening which might be good for some subjects but not others.

    All that said I have a good friend that graduated highschool with a college scholarship and he could not read or spell well at at. He had undiagnosed dyslexia. He could do math and science amazingly well but language arts and reading were very low. It was hard, but he made it through college and did great, he had a lot of help and encouragement from friends and family. Even into highschool his mom read quite a few of his text books for him and assisted him. It really helped remind me that lack of ability in one area does not mean lack of intelligence in any way. Over the years his reading improved (and he reads all the time as an adult) and though his spelling will never be amazing, he learned how to write proposals and all sorts of things to be successful at his work 🙂

    Tristan
    Participant

    Ok, can you share where her reading ability is currently? Here are my thoughts (mom of 10, always homeschooled, graduating our oldest next year and kids range down to an almost 4 month old baby):

    Reading has 3 parts:

    1. learning to read words through sounding out/understanding the rules for what letters say, recognizing some words by sight (especially the small helping words like and, the, to, he, she, that, will, etc.)

    2. Reading fluently – not needing to sound out most or all words. This comes with lots of practice. Some kids need to work on actually memorizing certain words that they see frequently, while others pick that up naturally. I have 3 kids in ‘beginning reader’ stages right now. 1 has just moved to chapter books and still sounds out the occasional word, a couple per page probably. One knows most of the rules for how to sound out words and needs to start memorizing some words to recognize on sight to help his fluency along. He hasn’t done this naturally so we’ll start reviewing a couple words per day on flashcards, adding a new word to the stack as he masters a word. The third is still in the learning the rules for sounding out words phase. He’ll just keep trucking along there for now.

    3. Reading comprehension – This is understanding what is going on in what you read. It can be done when you are still sounding out most words, but really is hard for more than beginning reader story books. For chapter books they need to hit that fluency stage of reading before they will have much reading comprehension. (However, if you are reading aloud to them their reading comprehension will be great for that, because you are taking away the hard work of reading. We do a mix of both for all ages at my house, them reading and me reading aloud.)

    You can’t hurry them ahead in some of these stages, but you can actively work on focused areas to help. For example if she needs fluency still then choose word families that are used a ton and practice those every day outside of reading time, on flashcards. You can choose tricky ones like the -igh/-ight words so those become automatic, or you can choose basic ones you see all the time like:the, and, an, as, if, is, in, out, two, to, too, he, she, me, we, that, this, these, there, those, you, your, on, for, but, can, all. Dolch word lists are free online and they focus on having kids learn most frequently read words. If you start there, you are giving them automaticity in words they will see in nearly everything they read. This is a step to fluency, to making reading without sounding out happen. Again, some kids develop this on their own over time, but some benefit from direct practice.

    For everything else (grammar, spelling, etc) – relax. In today’s world spell check is a reality. Choose 1-3 words per week that you see consistently spelled wrong by your child and have them practice those as nauseum until they can spell them in their sleep. Then add a new 1-3 words. It’s short and slow and steady. You still have 5 years to graduation! A lot can be mastered in small chunks in 5 years. And think honestly, are there words you still have trouble spelling as an adult? I think that is normal.

    There is a free online grammar website called Daily Grammar if you really want to use it.

    In subjects where knowing how to read isn’t the point (like science, history) use audio books or read alouds. She can comprehend and learn without the added struggle of just reading the information. (Even programs like Apologia science have audio for their textbooks, or video lessons).

    Rachel White
    Participant

    I would suggest concentrating your funds on curricula which are created and marketed for kinesthetic/tactile learners, auditory second.

    You can use short lessons with any curriculum. I don’t see CM as kinesthetic, but primarily visual. And if she doesn't have basic reading and spelling down, I think SW 1 is going to frustrate her.

    Since she’s older, incorporate her into learning choices. You need her personally motivated to catch-up and for her to learn about her own strengths and weaknesses moving forward. Her involvement in curriculum choices and learning about herself is critical to long-term success. Her age is beneficial as she will move through curricula and subject levels more quickly. And, she can always have the option of a five-year high school.

    Also, know you’re limitations. If you have other children, pick curricula which may be used with them, as well. You’re only one person; it won’t help her for you to burn out with multiple curricula requiring too much prep. Time, energy, and funds are finite. It’s easy to add in free worksheets or inexpensive workbooks to more visual learners.

    Check out curricula which uses note-booking and projects; time-lines and create Century books (such as Homeschool in the Woods/History through the Ages, Map Quest or Uncle Josh map CDs, the figures which go w/certain curriculum)

    Use games.

    Math You See is very kinesthetic. As is All About Reading and All About Spelling. Winston Grammar Basic, Word Works, then Advanced. Oak Meadow has lots of projects.

    Here is a post which may be helpful:

    https://hiphomeschoolmoms.com/homeschool-curriculum-for-kinesthetic-learners

    Online classes in high school are very time intensive and require a lot of money and visual attention. You sit there for 1-2 hours (most are 1 1/2). Although, one or two would be helpful to assist her in acclimating to a lecture-style college classroom (while she engages her hands in note-taking or fidget-spinners!), I don’t recommend it for the majority of your schooling with her.

    You have a lot of options, which can be overwhelming; but it will get easier.

    For lower costs, check out homeschoolclassifieds.com

    As well as, Amazon and Well Trained Mind Classifieds, and Vegsource.

    HTH

    Karen Tryon
    Participant

    I am so sorry your in this situation.  I really do understand where you are at.  My eldest daughter  found out she had Inattentive ADD and slow processing when she was 17yod. Although she’s graduated now, she is still working on math (which was most affected by her disability).  She finished high school with  only pre-algreba.  I also have a dyslexic daughter whom I would say is behind, at least by preconceived standards.  And I had two other children whom would say are “behind” in reading for their ages.  But I try to remind myself often that they are not behind in God’s eyes.  He has given them these special gifts in order to grow and shape them.  And they are each growing through the failure and success.  He has a plan even for them in all the struggles they are facing.  That has helped me so much to remember when I feel panicked.  My 19yod will be taking her SAT for the first time this coming weekend.  I’m feeling a little nervous.

    I realize you are trying not to spend a lot money.  I spent $1000 to attend of reading workshop to learn how to teach my daughter but I am also using it to become certified to tutor struggling readers for I am not longer homeschooling.  Because I spent all the money I was reluctant to look for other curriculum for my older children.  But I wasn’t trained to teach them yet, only K-5.  So I searched high and low for something that would help them both and not cost me an arm and legs.

    I found a curriculum called Elevate by Reading Horizons.  My 11yod and 15yod are using it to “catch up” where I feel they are lacking in all levels of reading.  You can pay $10 for a 30day trial.  This is what I did.  I put a reminder in my calendar to review the curriculum after 28 days in case i decided not to pay for the rest of the curriculum.  You have to go to your account to change the payment structure so they don’t automatically charge you.   After 30 days of my 11yod using it, I was already seeing improvement so I took the plunge.  It’s working for him.  It’s computer based, so I was skeptical.  But it uses a lot of the same ideas that I use with my little girls in their reading instruction but it’s designed for older kids and adults.  My 11yod works on it for 30 minutes a day.   I also don’t know if it would match her kinesthetic side but if she’s going to do online classes, this might help her also become acclimated to online learning.

    By the way, I am only using the online curriculum.  I didn’t want to do the teaching with them.  It’s all independent.

    This is just a suggestion to look in to.  Here is the link:

    https://athome.readinghorizons.com/homeschool-reading

    Also, feel free to email me personally.  If anything I can be a listening ear as you walk through the journey of trying to solve the problems that have built up not knowing what was going on.  For what it’s worth, I could use the same thing.  I struggle with intense guilt at times knowing that some of the choices and naivety were part of her problem.  What’s worse, I was using CM with her in elementary school then I switched to a classical model.  I didn’t put two and two together to see that my switch probably actually caused it to come to light.  She was thriving under CM ideas.  Anyway, you have a listening ear with me if you need it.

    God Bless,

    Karen

     

     

    Wings2fly
    Participant

    I know a mom who uses Logic of English for her delayed reader, a kinesthetic learner.  I know she did some active learning like holding the flashcard and having him run back and forth, etc. while practicing reading skills.  Here is a review:

    http://www.ponderingsfrommyheart.com/logic-english-review/

    And their website:

    https://www.logicofenglish.com

    To encourage movement, she got him a swiveling desk chair on wheels, swiveling bar stool, and an exercise ball to sit on.  She has also had him use a one person trampoline for lessons.  Look at the TeeterPopper by Fat Brain Toys to sit, stand, and balance on.

    Both of us used Explode the Code workbooks successfully for our children.  I’m not sure what level she would be at.  Can you give us an idea of a book or level of reader she can read at now?  This could help with further suggestions.

    I am encouraged that you figured out the problems and are looking for solutions.  I can telling you are a caring mom.  Look at the whole child and don’t focus too much on the struggling academics.  Make good use of audio books…and movement.  Enjoy this time together.  You can do this!

    https://simplycharlottemason.com/what-is-the-charlotte-mason-method/

    poohtebby1
    Participant

    Hello All,

    I haven’t been able to sit, read, and answer the responses for several reasons

    1st I was utterly afraid that I would be advised to give up. I’ve been facing a lot of criticism from others and me.

    2nd my aunt passed away which caused a chain reaction that made me refocus my priorities. I needed to “see” both my daughters’ faces. I had lost sight that being a mom isn’t only teaching them to grow but also loving who they are now. I suppose losing my aunt caused me to stop and reflect, time passes to quickly.

    I am recouping from a breast biopsy. Another crazy unplanned roadblock. Crazy, right?!?! In spite of all the crazy God has completely carried us and comforted us. I am so thankful for His faithfulness. We are praying the results are benign.

    I said all that to say I didn’t just “jet” on replying to all your kind responses.

    I’m using this recovery time to read and answer the above comments.

    Sooo here I go….

    THANK Y’ALL for taking your time to reach out to me. Time is precious. I realize that more than ever now.

     

    poohtebby1
    Participant

    @SewFanny Thank you so much for your words of encouragement!! In my heart, I didn’t think sending her to public school was the answer. Your word provided comfort and confirmation. I will check out Momdelight.com. Thanks again!!!

    poohtebby1
    Participant

    @Joanna Simmons Thank you for your response! I will look into “The Good and The Beautiful”. I appreciate the words of encouragement! I won’t give up. 🙂

    poohtebby1
    Participant

    @retrofam Thank you!! Oh my goodness, I LOVE reading to her and she loves it too. I stopped reading to her thinking I was “handicapping” her progress. I must say I was going against my own heart, when I stopped. I think I’ll pick that up again, especially in her science and history. She always comprehends and retains what I read out loud. Plus, it is a great time to connect with her during the day.

    poohtebby1
    Participant

    @sarah2106 – Thank you for your response! I love reading to her, but stopped doing it because I thought I would hurt her progress. You are the 2nd person who said reading to her is a good idea. I look forward to starting to read to her again.

    I didn’t even think about that regarding a computer program. It thought it would be a more complete program, but I need to definitely consider how frustrated she would become if we kept hitting a wall.

    I have never heard of “Get Smart Grammar” but I will look into it. I feel that I do not completely grasp the ability to teach grammar “alone” so this might be a great help.

    Your friend’s testimony warmed my heart. I know my daughter is smart and her imagination is colorful. Your friend’s story reminded me of all the amazing qualities in my daughter. I actually think I will write a list of all the amazing things she CAN do. (I might even do that for myself..lol. 😊) I am grateful for you response!

    poohtebby1
    Participant

    @Tristan

    Thank you for your response! I believe, she is at a 4th/5th grade level in reading. She pretty much comprehends everything she reads.

    She knows how to read all the dolch sight words. I might pull her spelling list from here when we start school again. Thanks for the great idea!

    “And think honestly, are there words you still have trouble spelling as an adult?” To this question…Oh my goodness…YES!!! I never even thought about that. My grammar check is something I use often too. 😊

    I will check out the free online grammar website. I have a whole line of tabs opened up as I’m reading everyone’s response.

    You are the 3rd person to say reading to her would help. It’s kind of funny since I stopped because I thought I was hurting her by doing it. I’m excited to start back up again.

    Many Thanks!!

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