Topic | Mommy moment…

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  • blue j

    Ladies, I need perspective.  Somehow I thought that when my eldest reached adulthood I’d have become comfortable enough in all of the stages of childhood that I wouldn’t feel like I hadn’t quite gotten my sea legs, but that isn’t the case. I am feeling so horribly out of phase at the moment that I’m not sure where I am on my journey part of the time.

    OK, deep breath and some clarification.  My eldest, nearly 21 yo ds), has graduated from college as of December, my eldest dd is working and planning her path for advanced studies at the moment, and my youngest three daughters are in various stages… 16 yo shows such brilliant sparks of nearly adulthood sometimes that it takes my breath away and the next moment that spark dims and I quietly say a prayer, an almost 14 year old who vascillates at a much more accellerated rate between the two worlds of young adult and child, and my youngest who is 10 and is firmly still in childhood. I feel like the a comic strip character where the head is drawn looking from side to side so fast it could cause whiplash. The youngest feels slighted and wants attention as a child, but the eldest needs some guidance only in a totally different mode and presentation than the youngest while I hold my finger in the air to try to figure out which way the wind is blowing for my own orientation with the middle child before addressing her needs. 

    Please tell me someone else has experienced this, and it will be ok.  I *know* it will, but for right now, I almost feel like the mom who just had her 3rd child and wonders how she’ll cope with three children and only two hands. Today has been quite a day of ups and downs, so encouragement, perspective, and any suggestions for this stage in life would be greatly appreciated.




    Oh Dear Jacqleene, you described beautifully how I feel every day with my 3 boys, who are 15, 10 & 3. I’m sorry that I do not have any suggestions for you. However, I’m praying now that God will encourage your heart and strengthen you…..



    Hi Jacqleene!


    I just wanted to write to you and to let you know that I can relate!  We have three boys who are 15, 12, and almost 11.  I jumped in 7 years ago into this crazy, wonderful life when my husband and I first met, and we’ve been married for close to five years now.  So, for a while, I really think I was the comic strip character because when I got married I was only 21 and instead of becoming man and wife, I became part of a family of 5!!  It has been absolutely worth it, but there was a definite learning curve for me! 


    Our 15 year old sounds a lot like your 16 year old.  Some days I truly think he’s an adult.  Some days, I think he is worse than his youngest brotherWink  Just like us moms, the kids are learning, too.  Sometimes it helps me to remind myself of this, especially on those frustrating days.  We always try to make sure that at least once or twice a month each kid has a few quality, uninterupted hours of Dad time (or, Mom time, if that would be better for the girls.).  That’s helped us.


    I know I don’t have much helpful advice for ya, being in the thick of it myself, but just try to enjoy it!  I know some days can be really discouraging, but being in the position that the kids only live my husband and I every two weeks, life really is different without them here, and we’ve learned to cherish it all.  And, if you take a deep breath, a step back, and really look at the big picture it really is a lot more fun and not as bad as it seems while you’re in the middle of it!

    blue j

    Thank you ladies.  After a good nights’ sleep, I am feeling better today.  Praying God’s grace on your day and mine. 🙂



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