Topic | Middle child syndrome 5 yr old help!

Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
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  • Teresa
    Participant

    Looking for some suggestions/ ideas for a tough 5 yr old. We intend to homeschool all of our children. Our family dynamic is that we have 4 children ages 11-3 (homeschooling for 2nd and 5th right now). Our 5 yr old is in constant need of attention to the point that he will spend a good amt of energy trying to annoy or aggravate his siblings. I know he needs more 1on1 time and we are doing our best. I plan to do a very minor k program in the fall like 5 in a row or similar. He doesn’t have any interest in sitting down<span class=”text_exposed_show”> to do school work. So I don’t intend to make things more difficult by forcing school but he seems to need more( I question maybe he needs more structure but don’t want to fight and get him frustrated with learning). I would love to hear from others who have dealt with similar “middle” children. I am not in a position to run him around to a ton of programs so that’s not really an option. He may be getting speech at the local school next year. Another problem is that he is very disagreeable and when I make suggestions his answer is usually no:( I usually try to give him two choices so he has to pick one or he will end up aggravating someone. Thanks for any heartfelt advice you all can offer. (We did a co-op program this year and will be at a group setting every other week next yr) Thanks!</span>

    Regan
    Participant

    Well, I have 6 kids 8 and under and while I don’t really have middle child issues, I do have a 4 year old, a 3 year old and a 1(almost 2) year old,  that want a certain amount of attention!  I have found that if I go from breakfast, straight into the school day without any one on one time with the littles, they tend to become more of a distraction and act more needy!  I heard a wise fellow homeschooling mama of a large family share that she found that when she took a little time out with the little ones early on in the morning, she found they were much more content to entertain themselves happily afterwards!  She actually referred to it as “filling their cup”.  She said if you fill the cup of your little ones earlier in the day, you will find your morning usually goes a little smoother!  I can’t guarantee there aren’t days where this won’t work, but most days, it really does, at least at our home!  Just sitting with them and reading a book or two, working a puzzled, singing and sitting still, giving them my undivided attention as best I can really does “fill their cup” so to speak and they tend to not act out for attention!  I realize this can be a challenge and I don’t know if you think this would help your kiddo, but I thought I would share as it has helped me tremendously!  My little ones now know that most of the time, they can expect time with mommy before school!  My oldest kiddos have short morning jobs they do before school starts so I try to use that time with the little ones!   I would also encourage you to initiate this when he is pleasant!  When I first started this, I would always ask them to come sit with me and read or do something fun before any whining or negative behavior began!  I didn’t want them to think they had to act out to get this time with mommy!  Pretty much like habit training!  I realize some kids are more difficult and I don’t know if any of this even helps!  Maybe some of the other moms can relate and can give you more specifics!  I am accessible throughout the day, but as I’m sure you know, one on one time is hard when you are in the middle of schooling other kids.  My kids also know that mom will take time with them during snack time or right before or after lunch we will all sit down and read, listen to music, dance, do a puppet show 🙂  One other thing, my 3 & 4 year old had a hard time with me being busy with school at the beginning of the school year so in addition to spending a short time with them in the morning, I would also make a point to praise them when they were playing happily and entertaining themselves and waiting patiently on mommy!  This really motivated them to hang in there because mommy would be available soon!  They have really blossomed in this area!  At the beginning of the year, I was thinking….how on earth am I going to get anything done!  I think it comes down to knowing the needs of your child, habit training and having some things they enjoy that are semi-quiet to play with during school time!  I can honestly say that my house is rarely quiet though!  Is it that he needs something interesting to do or that he wants one on one time with you?  I know moms who keep an activity bin and they change things out every day so their child has new and interesting things to do while they do school!  They would do this for each child and right before school began, they would give each child their bin with 3 or 4 things to do!  Just brainstorming…. what do you think is the main issue he is having?

    Regan
    Participant

    And… after I wrote that long post, I think I misunderstood…lol.  Are you asking for recommendations as far as educationally for next year?  Sorry if I totally didn’t address what you were asking!  Btw… when will he turn 6 years old?  That would help!  We start with some basic reading, very basic numbers and math and some handwriting if they are interested!  If not, I know CM recommends waiting until they are 6.  Are you saying he isn’t very interested in school type activities?

     

    Teresa
    Participant

    Regan,

    Thank you! Your response was very helpful. I guess, I am just not sure what to do next year. I will definitely do some 1 on 1 with him before school. Im just not sure that will be enough. He’s a tough cookie. Very determined to do the opposite of what I suggest. I am thinking the bin idea with specific activities for each day would be helpful. That way he knows what his choices are that morning when he looks in his bin.

    I’m not really looking for curric suggestions unless someone has some to offer. He’s not very interested in doing “school” unless he is rewarded which I may do. My concern is that he is very smart, rhyming since he was 3, knows all of his letters. I’m thinking he needs to be challenged but exactly how to do that without it causing a battle. As I am writing this I do believe that my focus needs to be character training. I will be getting the SCM laying the rails for next year. I’m struggling bc I think there is more going on with him than just bad character traits. I’m looking into a sensory evaluation for him…

    again, thank you for your response!

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