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Math Question! 9DS … ARGG!
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Is it right to demand that your 9 year old boy step up and work harder and longer than perhaps he’d done in previous years? I feel like this is the stage or age that require him to take a bit longer, pay better attention to details, use all the memorized facts he’s learned …. AND GET IT DONE, done in a timely manner and done right.
What I’m getting is a lot of him wanting to get done and get away! Life homeschooling seems to mean a life of leisure to him. It has never been that, but maybe in years past the material (esp. Math) was not so demanding? His attitude today has been atrocious.
I find (still) this transition to middle school difficult. Can anyone else comment or offer their experiences?
I don’t know, but we can put him and my 8yo son, who shares the same first name as your boy, on a slow boat to nowhere while they learn diligence together. My boy seems to think play time is supreme lately, too. This is precisely why I dislike extended breaks! Mine had to rewash a bunch of dishes because he didn’t do it well. Argh here, too.
3rd/4th grade is definitely where the requirement to buckle down and persist through the not fun times starts in our house. But it is a process so it is gentle heaing toward that goal. Push through one or two problems or push through 5 more minutes. It’s all part of developing character needed for life. As long as we are not dealing with learning issues, I handle it as an attitude/discipline issue instead of an academic one.
Doesn’t middle school usually start in 6th grade about 11 years old?
My 10YO DS is always looking to get done quickly. Not just with math. Drives me bananas! Thing is though he can usually tell me more in terms of narration and even those math problems than the older two.
I guess for me it all boils down to what are they learning (or not), and how are we doing in terms of moving forward. If math takes 10 minutes today and 45 tomorrow, then it all evens out.
I obviously don’t have an answer LOL! Can totally empathize though.
Here is a thought: extra playtime is a reward for getting work done at a reasonable time and correctly but for younger kids it might help to have a tactile reminder such as a labeled card that says “bonus play” (or whatever activity is desired) to grab as soon as they finish their work with best effort. Make it a fun challenge by having the card “disappear” after an allotted time. If the child is late in getting the play card, they have lost the extra playtime and move on to the next school or work task. They can work harder the next day to get that playtime bonus card. 🙂
Christie I’m with you on the extended breaks! This summer has been one big whirl wind of breaks and interruptions. A lot of which has lead to this idea “why do it now when you can take a break and do it later” around here.
My style is to work really hard and then relax with the same intensity after a job well done. It’s tough now that the kids are older an our “work really hard” time is taking longer. I’m not boring or schoolish about my approach to our subjects. And I work hard to show my enthusiasm and the relevance of what they’re studying too. No one wants to learn from Monotone Mary. I guess today was just an off day for us. Today’s highlight was his “forgetting” how to multiply by 2?! Good grief Charlie Brown.
Where’s the sign up for the Wild Boy Boat? 🙂
Simplehome, I’d love to do things like that, but I’ve never been good at reward systems. I’m sort of a Tiger Mom I’m afraid – get it done because you were told to, do it well and your reward is a job well done. Period. I also have children who would sit and stare at a wall without any real complaint if that were an alternative to working hard at something challenging them. That’s where I see the real problem. How to instill a more mature work ethic in children at this age. Mine are great with household chores, will do whatever is asked of them and usually more but when it comes down to school work that’s challenging them … road block central.
HiddenJewel, this is my question: do I give them the assignment and then however long it takes it takes? Or do I do the short lesson rule and let 20 minutes or so of hard work on it be all they do? I felt like years ago short lessons worked well. Now they seem to be too short and artifical places to stop the learning. I think I’m pushing for them to complete their work rather than do it for only so long. I’ve not a clue if that’s the right approach.
I know you all know the picture I paint here is one glimpse. They are not always unwilling to push themselves academically. They are not always unable to multiply by 2. Just today was “one of those days” around here.
BTW William Bennett has a wonderful essay on WORK in the Book of Virtues. I read it today. I think I may start reading it daily.
What I am doing with dd8 (3rd grade) this year is watching for the point when she is losing focus. If we are at a natural stopping point in the material, we stop. If not, we gently push through a few more minutes. Most of our subjects are interactive so this works well. If most of the work was independent, it might have to be approached differently.
@Claire, I have one for whom rewards are totally ineffective. He is stubborn to put it nicely and rewards just don’t motivate him. Rather, they make him dig in his heels. I am still trying to strike that balance as well. I feel like right now we are too into checking off boxes (of which I’m guilty as well). Sigh.
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