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Immediate Natural Consequences for Disobedience?
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Hi All. I’m just hoping to get some ideas on how to spur my 7yo son on in obedience. My eldest is a compliant child, but my 7yo struggles more with obeying the first time. We used to spank when they were little, but he’s too old for that. We do time-outs, have talks about why he should obey, when he’s disobeying me he’s disobeyig God, have obedience and honor verses with definitions on the fridge that we regularly repeat, etc. He’s an emotional, sensitive child which shows in good ways, but also is tempermental.
Taking privileges away really doesn’t work, he only gets video game time 1x/week, occasionally some other computer time. He does get a little video/t.v. time most days, but the disobedience has been occuring more than once a day and he doesn’t get enough things to be taken away daily. I think the consequence needs to occur immediately, but time outs aren’t enough. Any ideas? Thanks for any help:) Gina
Have you read Creative Correction by Lisa Welchel (remember Blair from the Facts of Life?!)? She is now a homeschool mom of three and has written a few books, this one was great. I read it when my kids were too little to use it and I was excited for them to be old enough to disobey so I could use some of her cool tips. Like if they keep rocking back in their chairs they have to stand up for the rest of the meals that day. If they want to boss their younger siblings around then they are in charge of them for the rest of the day -meals, baths, getting dressed, everything. There are just lots of practical, immediate consequences. It should be available at your library. A side note, my middle child is 7 and usually is my obedient one. Things have been going downhill for her lately and I am thinking being stuck inside so much and not getting as much exercise and fresh air with this winter weather is making us all a little crazy lately. Maybe spring will help bring things back under control for both of us! Best of luck!
My 2 boys are similar to this. My husband has spanked my 5 year old (he was 3 at the time) with his belt once and my Ash turned around and said “That didn’t hurt.” Spankings do not work with this child. He also does not have any toys or tv or video games that he would miss. What I found to be most helpful is hard labor. Our punishments include: picking up all the sticks out of the yard and piling them, scooping up all the dog’s poo, running 10 laps around the house, scrubbing the toilets, organizing things, and sweeping the back deck. Another thing I often do, which is from Tomato Staking, is make them stay by me for the afternoon. Yesterday my oldest had some problems with a bad attitude towards his brother and so I had him just stay in the kitchen with me to prepare dinner and we made a cake. I let him make the cake by himself, it turned out great. He also did all the dishes for me. After dinner he went off and played nicely.
Thank you very much for the replies! I actually have Creative Correction and should have gone to it, it’s been years since I read it. I’m interested in the Tomato Staking book, keep hearing so many good things about it—just sometimes feel that I’ve read so much that I need to consistently apply what I’ve already read first:)
Love the chore idea–we already had a talk today that this would be the consequence. Thanks so much. This forum is so wonderful, I’m thankful to Sonya and Doug for starting it and to all you wonderful moms who take the time to reply:) Blessings, Gina
Hi Gina,
IMHO “Raising Godly Tomatoes” is the best on dealing with disobediance. If we are consistant with tomatoe staking, we will eliminate most disobediance in our homes and enjoy our children to the utmost!
Blessings to you & yours,
~ Heather
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