I feel so alone :'(

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 24 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • Sara B.
    Participant

    We had a Sunday school meeting tonight, and I am just so exasperated and bummed, I am in tears. I feel like I am shot down before I ever even open my mouth, all because I am suggesting a new and different method to teaching our kids rather than the same curriculum that was the focus of what was wrong with our Sunday school in the first place. Since my method isn’t how the public school does it, and I’m not a “real” teacher, my opinions just don’t seem to matter. Doesn’t help that my dh “sees both sides” and so doesn’t defend me or anything because he doesn’t want it to be a “my way or else” situation. Evidently I come across “catty,” as he says, even though I get along with other homeschoolers who don’t use the CM method just fine. 8-/ I don’t know what he or they hear, but it’s obviously different than what homeschoolers are hearing.

    I don’t know, I am just tired of being alone and having no say in things. I feel like I am just tolerated, rather than a respected member of our group. :'(

    Well, thanks for letting me vent. <sigh>

    suzukimom
    Participant

    hugs

    missceegee
    Participant

    I’m sorry. I understand. I’m sure you were nicer than we were. Hubby and I refused to teach using the dumbed down twaddle that our elementary SS used. We did our own thing for 5+ years. Sad thing was that no one else was ever interested, except one. Our kids go, but their learning comes from home. When my dd5 didn’t like her teacher last year and I asked for her to move up to be with her old teacher who moved up, that was shot down. My solution was to keep her with me until the teacher she disliked no longer volunteered. The crazy thing was that she was much more mature and had much more knowledge than even kids in the older class for which she was considered too young. PS mentality stinks all around in my book.

    My oldest who is 11 moves from the elementary to the middle/high school program next month. She will do SS, but not likely youth group. I have total confidence in one of the leading couples, who homeschool. The others, well, the jury is still out. However, our church’s homeschooling numbers are growing and that is having a positive impact. 

    Hugs.

    Christie

    RobinP
    Participant

    Oh Sara, I so understand.  We attend a different church now where everyone homeschools and it’s even preached from the pulpit but at one time we were the only weirdos in the church we attended.  I was asked to teach 7th and 8 grade girls and I said sure.  BUT I would NOT use any SS “curriculum.”  I would do my own thing.  They said sure.  And I did for 2 years.  The girls couldn’t have cared less and when we had a series of lessons on creation/evolution one of the girls said her science teacher said I was a lunatic.  This was from the daughter of a deacon in a small “ultra-conservative” southern town.  You’re not alone.  But be encouraged.  We are called to obey.  God is in charge of the results.

    Carmen
    Participant

    Sorry to hear that Sara.  I totally understand.  My husband is one of the pastor at my church, I have been struggling whether to send my kids to Kids’ worship or not due to the teaching style.  Finally, I decided not to send them.  I appreciate their efforts but just had hard time dealing with some of the teaching styles and methods they use.  People around me always say “Pastor’s kids are not going to Kids worship because they can’t get up early.”  Sigh…. I feel loney and don’t know where to share my feeling and thought!  

    I always tell myself “it’s okay, God understand my feeling.  I am not alone!”  Take care!  

    Carmen

    Sue
    Participant

    I understand the “lonely” feeling. We are currently the only homeschooling family in our church, and although I often hear accolades for what I’m doing with my kids, it doesn’t mean they really want to listen to what I have to say about Sunday School….and I’m the Children’s Ministry Director!

    Fortunately, I’ve grown accustomed to being a sort of “Lone Ranger” in the congregation, and I have a whole lot of support from our pastor and his wife. In fact, she and I are the lead teachers (okay, at this moment, we are now the only teachers….but that’s a different long story), and we have both completely stopped using boxed curriculum materials and methods in our classes. The beauty of having smaller classes (6 or less kids per class each week) is that we can tailor our materials and methods to the “regulars” and we have an aide (my daughter) to help us adapt things to any occasional attenders or newcomers.

    Still, I sometimes have feelings of “why am I even doing this” or “what & how should I really be teaching these kids?” Somehow, the Holy Spirit manages to resolve these things in my spirit before the next Sunday. That only happens through continual prayer.

    chocodog
    Participant

    I think we have a whole lot of lonely onlys here…. Let’s start a group!   The only lonely group.

    I think I would be the leader but everyone here is much more qualified. Therefore, we should all meet in a building all by ourselves and teach only the curriculm we want to teach once a week.

      I don’t think anyone will show up because we are the only ones that want to teach and want to come. 🙂

    Yes, this is why I teach my kids at home…   And others wonder why we are the way we are…. 🙂

     

            Hugs to everyone! It seems we are all in the same boat!

    I really wonder if G-d is culling out the rest of them and they don’t see it or is he making us stronger in our beliefs so we can stand up and teach our children the right ways ???

     G-d is definately moving and it isn’t just in one church!   

                                Blessings! and Hugs!!!!

    Sara B.
    Participant

    So glad I’m not alone!  Thank you to all of you who have shared your lonely moments.  chocodog, definitely I see Him up to something.  The question is what….  😉

    I am feeling much more determined to write this Sunday school curriculum using CM methods.  The nicest thing about it?  It doesn’t have to fit just one church body or Bible translation.  Ahhhh….  Just thinking about a curriculum like that makes me feel better.  🙂

    Oh, and I got to vent to my mommy this afternoon, too.  She’s a very good person to vent to.  She always understands.  What’s awesomer, she has become one who defends me and sees how good homeschooling has been for us and the kids.  And she even agreed that public schools are failing and my method is actually working.  Ah, I love my mommy.  🙂

    eawerner
    Participant

    I am very curious as to the type of curriculum used in the various SS programs mentioned here and why specifically it is objectionable. I’ve never thought about this before. My dd is 5 and for her SS they have books with tear out sheets that have the Bible story on them, a bible passage, and questions/prompts for the parents to talk about at home. The SS teacher keeps the books and sends home a new lesson each week. The teacher reads the story, then the kids work on whatever activity goes with the story. We get a variety of color, cut, and glue type stuff coming home, or they make a popsicle stick project or make empty tomb rolls in the church kitchen or… They also have music practice to work on whatever song they will be singing in church next, and they recite their memory work each week.

    How does that compare to SS at your church? I’m wondering if I am just not concerned about it or if other churches do it much different?

    lgeurink
    Member

    We go to a large church and we do have a homeschool population here (not huge compared to the size of the church but still enough that it isn’t weird).  We do not send our kids to our SS or summer programs though they do attend children’s choir b/c that is teaching them singing and about God.  Our SS, IMO, is glorified babysitting for the hour we are in church so they come with us.  I think even if all they get out of a service is to sit quietly for an hour it is more than they get out of SS.  When I was growing up, we memorized verses, read from a Bible (that’s right, a real Bible, not a lesson sheet!), and spent the hour learning about God.  At our church (which is  non-denom and a church I love for many reasons, just not the kids programs) SS is really full classes, parents who show up and do what the SS director has set up for them with no prep ahead of time, read from a story book, sing some songs, do games and mixers and a craft.  I clean the SS rooms on Monday after the weekend services and they look like a bunch of wild animals had class there!  I don’t know if I am being to critical but I know it isn’t right for our family even though I know other homeschool families who do send their kids.  For us, just not attending is the best option and I volunteer in other areas so I don’t have to make a fuss.  Is there a different area you could serve in?  I understand it might be hard if that is a passion for you…

    Tecrz1
    Participant

    I am the head of our Sunday School, and since my husband is the pastor I get to do whatever I want….lol, just teasing.

    Actually before I took over the Sunday School it was ok. The teachers tried to teach Gods Word as best they could, although their methods were kind of dumbed down and ineffective, as most Sunday Schools seem to be. I despair of the entertainment focus of Sunday School anymore.

    We used a curriculum from our organization for a while. I thought it was terrible. It was a short, chewed up lesson of a Bible story and a bunch of time consuming and pointless activities. While fun, not a lot of learning happening.

    For the past year and a half I have been writing my own lessons. We cruise through the Bible chronologically and slowly. For example, instead of one lesson on Elijah and move on, we spent six weeks studying his life, then 7 weeks on Elisha. We spent four months on the life of Christ and are now into the book of Acts and the early church. I was in despair because I only had 10 weeks to teach the book of Acts.

    I teach the main lesson to all children in our main Sunday School auditorium. First we recap, with the kids narrating all the precious lessons briefly. This helps newcomers or children whose parents are not consistent also. Then I teach up front, with a Bible in my hand which I refer to and read from frequently. I ask questions to encourage discussion as we go. Sometimes we act things out, or the kids supply experiences or ideas.

    They always narrate the lesson back. Then we head to our smaller classrooms for reinforcement activities. There are memory verses and activity pages. Our Sunday School is 10 and under and mostly on the younger side. We have a lot of 5-7 yos. We do a lot of coloring sheets labeled with the memory verse. This time is more relaxed and we do provide a snack. We often get into conversations with the children about their week and what’s going on in their lives. It’s a great time to connect with these precious kids, who are often starved for attention.

    I have two goals – an attractive way to do a timeline and some large laminated Bible time maps!

    However, the problem with this method is it relies solely on me to write and teach.

    I have many other duties at the church and have decided to begin using a curriculum.

    Answers in Genesis has a new Sunday School curriculum they are releasing in June. It is a 3 year chronological rotation. It is highly apologetic and includes reading from an actual Bible whole passages, along with deeper study and even some interesting activities.

    We are going to try it out and see what happens! I feel very good about it. It looks like a nice meaty curriculum.

    As far as others reaction, the other teachers have been very good about following all my harebrained schemes. My assistant admitted to me that she looks forward to the lessons because SHE learns new things. And she was MY Sunday School teacher many moons ago. We have to get back to real Bible study! The earlier we start the better.

    Sorry this is so long! One of my passions obviously.

    Tara

    Sara B.
    Participant

    eawerner, our SS is similar to that.  Fill-in-the-blank worksheets, silly little crafts that aren’t even “keep-able,” a lesson sheet that is paraphrased (what happened to faith comes by hearing the Word??? God wrote the Bible with *everyone* in mind, not just adults), cartoon characters that don’t even look real.  They have memory work on the handouts, but they rarely, if ever, practice during the SS hour because they don’t have time.  To do 2 min. of recitation.  8-/  The kids come out of class unable to tell anyone about what they supposedly just learned about, not even just narrating the story back.  They learned nothing new about God/Jesus and what God is like, what He did for us, or why.  Sadly, our church barely even uses actual verses from the Bible for our Christmas program!  I seriously am sometimes downright ashamed of what SS has become in our church body.  Cry

    I am basically tired of people saying children are robots who need to be programmed, spitting back ready-made answers.  They are not, as we all know here since we are using CM’s methods.  They are people, each with their own unique personalities, and each of them able to think and learn – unless it gets squelched by dumbed-down stories (twaddle) and boring, repetitive questions with right or wrong answers.  Ugh, drives me nuts….

    What’s really funny is the lady who is a high school math teacher tried to tell me that current research “confirms” that children need to be spoon-fed the information in order to learn it.  8-/  I’d like to know which studies she’s been reading, because all the current ones I have come across have said exactly the opposite…..  Which is why the ps’s test scores are lower than homeschoolers, schools are failing, and our kids don’t know how to think once they get to college & beyond.  <sigh>

    OK, down off my soapbox again.

    Sara B.
    Participant

    Tara, thanks for sharing how you do things.  It is nice to hear about others who are working on writing/using a non-twaddly curriculum.  So often these kids’ parents do not read the Bible at home, nor do they do devotions with their kids throughout the week.  We have precious little time to instill our faith in them, and so much relies so heavily on what they see their parents doing (or not doing).  I’d rather give them as much of God’s Word as possible (without being way too much for them) and some good, meaty books and Bible verses to mull over and chew on.  They need that.  They are starving for it the rest of the week.  It’s so sad that parents just look at Confirmation (or whatever equivalent you have in your church) as a ritual/rite of passage that the kids just get to do regardless at the end of 8th grade.  It’s just heart-breaking to me.  <sigh>

    OK, again – off my soapbox.  🙂

    missceegee
    Participant

    When hubby and I taught. The material was total twaddle, much like what eawerner described. Intentions were good, but it was a waste of time and still is in the classes where it is used. We taught chronologically through scripture alternating Old and New testaments each year. We used the coloring books by Children Desiring God as well as their Foundations memory verse cards. The children colored in their books during arrival time and we had a few extras for guests to use. Next we would pray and sing different songs – This Little Light, Somewhere in Outer Space, I May Never March in the Infantry, etc. Fun songs with motions, but they were all relevant, too. Next was memory work – we memorized the Books of the Bible, 12 tribes of Israel, lots of verses and tracked them on sticker charts on the bulletin board. Then we taught our lesson using the Bible and flannelgraph. We found the kids (4-6 year olds) really enjoyed the REAL Bible and the flannelgraph was a nice addition. Afterwards we would ask questions using a fun beach ball game (narration type, often) or some other way. If we had time left over, we sometimes played Bible Bingo or other fun game.

    We haven’t taught in a few years because hubby wanted to teach adults for a while and I wanted to be in his class. 

    Funny about the auto advancement, Sara B.. My father in law is a retired pastor. When he was a kid and teen, you had to pass a test to advance in SS just like in regular school. Nowadays we simply amuse the children on the whole. 

    Our kids do SS, but not youth and they don’t go to children’s church during the service or the church hour program which is for up to K age and is simply babysitting. We do volunteer once per month for the church hour program in the 4-6 year old class. We bring a missionary bio. or character dev. story and tie it to scripture, then we do play outside. My 5 yo stays when we are leading, otherwise she’s in church with us. We train ours around 2 or 2.5 to sit through the service. They enjoy the music and can sit quietly coloring during the sermon. I’m about to start with my youngest in the next few months. 

    Hugs again,

    Christie

    Katrina in AK
    Participant

    This has been a timely and refreshing post.  Having been in a weekly Bible study program that emphasizes teaching the same Scripture principles to the children in their program as the moms are learning, and implementing CM methods at home, I’m VERY concerned about what the kids are NOT learning at SS.  We send our boys, as I’m one of the substitute teachers.  When I sub, I almost NEVER do the twaddly color a picture, watered down story, flashy graphics, little to no application curriculum.

    We have a case of “it’s always been done this way”, with a SS director of 25+ years.  Please pray with me as I WANT to offer suggestions of doing something differently…gently, lovingly, and maybe having to step up and be more involved than I feel I really want to right now.

    Katrina

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 24 total)
  • The topic ‘I feel so alone :'(’ is closed to new replies.