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High School- continue Homeschool?
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Just looking for any feedback from parents who have gone through similar situations.
My son is finishing 9th grade and has been homeschool almost his whole life. He was in school briefly in 2nd grade when I had some medical issues, and it was for about 6 months at most. He enjoyed the social aspect of school at that time.
He is a twin and next year, they will be the only ones at home-the other two will be in college. My son was on the high school swim team this year and we recently moved so that he is farther from his summer friends. He is also taking one elective at the building this year, but recently he is grumpy, moody, and now says he wants to consider going to the high school next year. He is bored, which I totally get……after the swim season, there has been a big let down and the move was not exactly what he wanted. He is still in the same school district, but farther from his friends that he sees during the summer.
I have assured him we will drive him this summer to see his friends and by January of next year, he will be driving. He starts driver’s ed this summer. Last year, I would not have allowed him to go, as he was immature and his spiritual life was not very strong. He has grown, both maturity wise and spiritually and will be going on a mission trip this summer.
Should I tell him he should hold off and see how things are next year when he is driving? Or do I seriously consider enrolling him next year? I have been homeschooling for 15+ years so it would be hard to quit. But it is not about me. He twin does not want to go to the school but would consider doing the K-12 online school that they offer.
Has anyone has a similar issue? Any thoughts??
Thanks
pj
I will say that we did online public school (K-12 curriculum) for two years (mostly to appease their father), and we did not really care for it. It was what drew me towards CM methods, and my research brought me here (SCM). However, our kids were at 2nd and 4th grade levels when we started the online school, so I can’t speak to how well that functions for high schoolers.
Could the grumpiness be something that is growing out of his in-school experience? Or maybe just teen boy stuff? Working through the hormonal and emotional changes of the teen years?
We have a friend whose 16-year old daughter has been taking 2 courses at the local high school this year. She is set on attending the Naval Academy, and her parents felt these two courses taken in a brick-and-mortar school would add something to her transcript for admissions purposes. Their daughter has enjoyed being there for the most part, but she tells us she would not want to attend full-time due to the attitudes of the other students plus the fact that she has been sick with one virus or another since she started.
Could your son continue on the swim team next year? Especially if he is driving, he will be able to see friends more often.
While I was not unwilling to listen to my daughters’ thoughts on the matter, I was committed to homeschooling through high school unless I felt God was closing that window of opportunity. It pretty much turned out that they really never wanted to go to public school, but then we got even busier with a co-op and our 4-H club once high school arrived, so I think they never felt deprived of anything in any way.
I would consider just laying out for both twins the compelling reasons why you chose to homeschool. Then, listen to their thoughts and see if there is some way to compromise. If there is not, you might have to just tell him that it’s your job as his parent to direct his education as you see fit.
Thank you for your thoughtful feedback!! Yesterday when this first came up, I thought I would be able to “trust God” with whatever direction it went. Today, I am filled with tears thinking of the possibility of him going to school!! I know that the move has been hard on him, and me as far as being prepared every day for school. I feel like I have done something wrong to make him feel this way…..but I do think he just tends to like being around “normal” people. His words, not mine. I think he is straddling both worlds right now-the Christian world and the secular world. And I so fear which world he would end up in if he went to school full time…..
Thank you again for advice of talking and laying out the reasons. That is a great idea and I will do some journaling about that and talk to my husband this weekend.
I have not heard great things about the K-12 school either, but I also heard that recently our high school went through some changes in their online school. I don’t know what that means but I am checking into it.
Pj
I am not there as my oldest is in 5th grade, but I grew up being HSed (with my 3 siblings) and I noticed my brother to be the most “grouchy” into highschool. He occasionally asked to go to highschool, I think for him it was that he thought he could have more friends and there was that part of him that wanted to get away from under the leadership of my mom. He loves her, but that mom/son dynamic, it is a lot sometimes. 🙂 He continued to be HSed and she and my dad encouraged him to join sports, church activities, get a job… She explained why we were HS’ed and that public school was not an option.
We also moved the summer before my sister was a senior, by brother was in 9th and I was in 7th grade (my other sister was a freshman in college). It was a TOUGH move! My parents were understanding in that it was tough on us, but at the same time we had to come to terms with it. So between hormones, moving… it can be a tough age!
I don’t think that public school “fixes” things and often it can lead to other behavior problems. That said, you know him best and I know plenty of amazing kids going through the public school system, but it is not an easier route.
Are there any options from year round swimming or other sports or activities? Or is he interested in an online class or something like that so he can interact with out students and have a different teacher for a subject or two. I think my brother would have really liked this if it was an option at the time (we were HSed before online learning options). We did enroll in the local community college for 2 classes/semester our senior year of highschool and I think he enjoyed getting out of the house for those classes.
As for K-12 I know a couple families that have done it for elementary and neither cared for it. They said it was a lot of busy work and since they had to check in with the school often they could not really skip. I don’t know anything about the highschool program though and imagine it can depend on the districts as well.
I was in a similar situation and really prayed to know what it was God wanted me to do.
Since you already started 9th grade there is a big chance that your son would have to re-do 9th grade if you did send him next year. Unless you used an accredited program most high school have no way to give credits for what you have done.
Thank you again, for the thoughtful feedback. I talked to another homeschooling friend whose son is my son’s best friend. She is sending her son to high school next year because she can’t handle homeschooling high school. She has had two other of her kids in the local high school so this was her first time trying high school this year. She said she is too far behind and too tired to continue, so she will be sending my son’s best friend in the fall. That makes this EVEN HARDER.!!
But she also said the school is rampant with drugs and both of the kids that have been through the high school already had a poor social experience, since they didn’t belong to the groups that did drugs. I feel like I am doomed either way….I will either have a grumpy, grouchy teen who may regress in academic motivation because he is at home, or I send him to a high school known to have money, drugs, and the possibility of losing him that way.
I know God is in control, He has THE plan, and I need trust Him. I ask for prayers that I may hear and see clarity from Him!!
Thanks
pj
You’re not doomed….just in a difficult spot right now, facing a difficult decision. Other than prayer, I think having a heart-to-heart talk with your husband would be your best source of help, especially if he is supportive of homeschooling. Don’t underestimate the power of the dad in your situation, even if his being gone making a living much of the day makes it seem like he is not as involved as you.
Perhaps it would help your son’s moods if his dad were able to take over teaching/supervising one of his subjects or just make a father-son date with him (and your other son) once a week or so for the purpose of touching base & doing “guy stuff.” Your son is on the brink of manhood, and your husband can have a great effect on how he views himself as a man. All of that is possible whether he is homeschooled or in public school, but it would be sweet if you are able to continue having him home under the family’s godly influence.
As far as your friend is concerned, if she is emotionally and spiritually exhausted, then it might make sense for her to send her kids to high school. However, I would be careful weighing your situation against hers. If one of your biggest concerns for yourself is whether homeschooling through high school is too much for you, just know that there are a lot of resources to consider and people to reach out to for advice on that. I know that the families here on this forum who have traveled through the high school journey would have some helpful advice in a lot of areas.
Perhaps the biggest hurdle in seeking high school advice here is that a number of us aren’t here as often as we used to be once our youngest ones hit high school. However, you will find some who are still here (the Smiths & the Shafers, of course…..and Robin, Tristan, a few others….), so you will have support. Outside of that, if you are a member of HSLDA, they have an entire department devoted to homeschooling through high school with people to guide you through this. They are not necessarily advocates of Charlotte Mason methods, but they are willing to support parents in whatever method of homeschooling they choose throughout the high school years.
I’ll be praying for you & your husband to come up with a plan for your sons for their high school education.
Sue
Hi! I just want to say that you’ve gotten a lot of great advise here. Although I don’t your son, I do know something about boys in general. I’ll just share my two cents and you can decide if it fits your situation.
I am mom to 8 boys and 1 girl. So far I’ve homeschool 2 boys through high school. Next year my daughter will graduate and my third soon will be in 9th grade. I have noticed that it’s normal for teenage boys to be grumpy and wouldn’t count on school fixing that!😊 All my friends who sent their kids to high school just got a whole bunch of new problems. Teenage boys have a lot of very male energy that leaves them restless and grouchy, if it’s not expended. Nothing helps as much as physical labor but I know that sometimes that is hard to come by when Dad’s away at work a lot. When my boys are couped up at home without much to do they drive everyone crazy! Sports could help. Some time with friends, also. What really helps is anything that makes them feel needed, profitable (make some money?), manly, skilled and thankful for their bed at night. It sounds strange, but they need tired out! There are different ways to do this but your husband may have some good ideas.
I’m so very glad that I stuck it out with my boys. I’m so proud of the men they’ve become and happy that now I’m starting to think of them more as friends. The teen years can be rough – but so worth the investment of emotional energy it takes from us.
Blessings! Praying you’ll receive some clear direction!
I agree that whatever the school or homeschool it will be tough. Boys can be difficult.
For me, I feel strongly that God called me to homeschool all of my children through high school. My children view public school as a nightmare, and would be horrified if they were sent there. Most of the kids I know who want to go to public school, it is for social reasons or extra curriculars. Their education should come first. You as parents know what is best for their education. There are better ways than public school to provide social opportunities.
Thank you again for all the great advice. I can certainly relate to the fact that boys need to expel energy. My son was on the swim team and it has just been recently that he has become so grumpy which coincided with the end of the season. I think some of it is due to the lack of exercise so I am working on getting him out more and working around the house as well. I’m pretty sure that we will keep him home and I understand it’s going to be a hard road no matter what we choose to do. I really appreciate it all the Insight here and will be back….
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