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Help, my kids do not love books!
- This topic has 8 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 1 month ago by
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I am not sure where I have gone wrong, but my kids are not voracious book lovers. Maybe I try too hard. We have always read a lot. Maybe not so much when oldest ds was little. Embarassingly I didnt know it was important. He was extremely active and never wanted to sit for books, it never occurred to me to read while he played. He is 13 now and really dislikes reading. We have been reading good books since about 2nd grade I would say. That is when I started educating myself. I use multiple book lists to pick good books. Bur try as I might my kids would just rather play. Not sure if I am doing something wrong. My kids are 13, 10, and 7. They all enjoy picture books, family read alouds and audio books in the car, but independent reading is such a chore for them. They are good readers, just unmotivated. None of the “school” books ever seem to appeal to them. Maybe I am pushing too hard, or picking books that are too challenging. My ds13 in particular has a hard time narrating books at his grade level. He can narrate easier books though. As an example he is reading Galen and the Gateway to Medicine and narrating well, but Eagle of the Ninth is a challenge. This child was capable of reading early, but his eyes were not mature enough to read books until about 3rd grade. Should I have him reading below grade level since he missed a few years of “practice”? I worry that high school and college will be so hard if I dont push him now. My dd10 is also able to read at grade level, but prefers easier shorter books. Would it make sense to allow their educational books, science, history, etc to be below grade level and just give them one challenging book to read more slowly. Any advice would be appreciated. I so want them to love reading and learning, but feel I have blown it somehow.
thanks,
Crystal
Hmmm. If you have ruled out eye-doctor-fixable problems (medical conditons), and if gou have ruled out learning disabilities (dyslexia, processing troubles, etc.), then maybe it’s just that the spark hasn’t been lit yet.
I would definitely help them by using below grade level books for their independent reading. You could switch their required reading to required listening (audible, librivox, library books on cd). And those books could be closer to their grade level, or even above it, if they can listen and narrate well.
Do they just need to find that magic series that turns them on to reading? At our house, Geronimo Stilton, Brixton Brothers, A-Z Mysteries, Humphrey series, Beverly Cleart are all very popular and have been instrumental in helping my “reading is boring” daughter to start to enjoy reading.
Best wishes!
My first question is, do you love books? It is hard to pass on a love of something that we don’t first have ourselves.
Do you assign additional reading aside from family read alouds? As soon as my kids were able to read on their own, I started them with a daily independent reading time. I only assigned 15 minutes at first but increased that to an hour for my son in middle school and high school because he was not one to pick up a book on his own. My daughter is a reader so I only assign her 30 minutes a day of independent reading a day and she is in 9th grade.
Some people just don’t take to reading as a favorite past time. Us readers don’t understand such a thing but nonetheless it is true. 😉
I would just set a daily independent reading time for each child appropriate to his/her level. Each student will grown at his own pace. It sounds like you’re doing a great job by having family read alouds. Read alouds are the key to developing a love of reading in our children.
My son didn’t often pick up a book in his free time. He graduated over 3 years ago and I don’t think he’s read a book since then. 🙁 I’m confident he will pick up reading again in the future when life slows down a bit and he settles into adult life. He mentions books from his school years all the time so I know he has fond memories of them.
Another strategy I’ve used with my kids is to set bedtime an hour earlier than I want them to go to sleep and tell them they can read or go to sleep during that time. They always chose to read. 🙂
Thank you ladies for your ideas. As I was pondering and praying over this another thought occurred to me. I think I have allowed my children to have it too easy. They just dont find the joy in doing hard things. Ds especially does not enjoy the challenge of accomplishment. This is something I will work on. But as for the books….
Karen – he is able to listen and narrate so audiobook will certainly be an option, especially in high school I think. And you are right about the spark. Thank you for the suggestions. The only books he ever wanted to read were the How to Train Your Dragon books by Cressida Cowell. There hasnt been anything else since he finished the series last year. Not sure how “living” those are, but she does have a way with words that even I enjoy.
Melanie – yes I do love to read and they see me reading all the time. They even tease me about packages at the door “oh no, mom bought more books.”
As for independent reading, the kids have assigned reading in history, science, and literature. I do not assign free reading time. But maybe I should? Is that what you meant by independent reading with a time requirement?
Currently ds13 is reading the following books (he is only assigned 3 per day, we rotate them):
Eagle of the Ninth
Galen and the Gateway to Medicine
Ordinary Genius (Einstien bio)
The Weather Book
The New Way things Work
Rotten Romans (silly and gross facts about Romans)
I would say he finishes his reading in about 30 minutes. You can see the only challenging read is maybe Eagle, the others are easy.
Dd10 is assigned
Black Beauty
The Cave Book
Ben and Me
The New Way Things Work
Hero Tales
Should I reduce their “assignments” and require them to pick a free read and spend time with that, or just keep plugging along. I do allow them to choose their literature selection, though ds usually just says I can choose for him. I really need something that will inspire him….
Crystal-it sounds like you are doing all the right things. In fact, it sounds like you are doing a great job to instill a love of reading in your children. Do not faint. You will reap in due season. 🙂
I would just keep plugging along. Those are all good books. I will say that The Eagle of the Ninth might be a little hard to narrate on. Isn’t it filled with long description of battles? That might be a lot of info to narrate on.
What is your son interested in? What does he like to do in his spare time? What kind of boy is he? I ask these questions because the answers might help us to suggest some books that might really grab his attention.
My son is an outdoorsy type of guy. Here are some books that he really liked:
All of the Little Britches series
Where the Red Fern Grows
A Land Remembered (make sure you get the student’s version! The adult one has a couple of racy scenes!)
Courageous by Randy Alcorn
Sargent York and The Great War
He also loved war books and biographies of generals and war heroes.
Huckleberry Finn
Tom Sawyer
The Lord of the Rings series
The Hobbit
I was referring to an assigned literature reading not additional free reading. I help my kids pick out books for their literature but I don’t let them pick them out completely on their own. My son needed my guidance to choose truly quality literature.
For my daughter, I let her pick from a list of classics but with my guidance.
Some books are harder to narrate than others. It may not be the difficulty of The Eagle book but the style of writing. I think Huckleberry Finn is a more advanced book but much easier to narrate from.
Thanks Melanie! We listened to the Hobbit and Where the Red Fern Grows on audio and he did really enjoy them. He tried Little Britches and couldnt get into it. I purchased the Lord of the Rings, but it is the giant version with all the stories in it, very intimidating to him. I did stop having him narrate Eagle, kind of going by Sonya Schafers suggestion in an article that literature should be enjoyed. We no longer narrate read alouds or their lit assignments. Although with read alouds someone tells what happened last time. And I do occasionally ask whats happening in a book of I am truly interested.
As far as personality. He is super social. Loves people. Loves to be outside exploring. Not very athletic with organized sports, but loves hiking, biking, climbing, camping. Loves to build, draw, recreate with Legos. I would say he is very creative, but hasnt found his true creative talent yet.
Thanks again for the help and encouragement. Maybe I will try Tom Sawyer of Huck Finn next. Although I think fantasy speaks to him more than boy adventure.
Crystal,
I see in your last post that you have cut down on required narration, which I always recommend. I usually don’t ask my kids for any narrations at all, but we talk about books we’re reading. They usually just want to tell me or my husband something about what they’re reading anyway. We need it to be much more natural than asking for narrations. If I thought I was required to tell someone about every book I read, I might not want to read much. And if they can converse about something they’re reading, that satisfies the goal of narration.
I was also wondering if he reads all three books for the day in one sitting. Maybe he feels like reading is something you check off a list if he goes from one to another to another. Like maybe reading is a school subject instead of something people love to do.
Reducing their assignments might help. Do they feel like they “have” to read instead of “get” to read? You might just want to ask them if you haven’t already.
Also, I don’t know what kind of fantasy your son likes, but my son loved Watership Down.
Crystal-I don’t require narrations of lit reads either. We do talk about my daughter’s lit books but she doesn’t do a formal narration.
My daughter is more into fantasy as well. It’s a bit harder to recommend fantasy books because each family has different standards.
How about:
the Narnia series
The Mysterious Benedict Society books
Sherlock Holmes books
Tarzan series
I’ll ask my daughter for more recommendations.
OP, sounds like you are doing a great job.!
Another area to consider is the use of media and devices in their lives, for those that choose to include these, it can be a hard pull of entertainment, gaming etc . For our family at this point, my kids can use the digital camera anytime (lately for stop motion), my phone for pictures /videos, looking up things on request, and family pizza and movie night once a week, with an occasional extra night of a show it movie especially when sick .
I love the books you all have listed so far! We love books and stories but my 12 yr ds is a reluctant Narrator, esp when I am giving prompts and if he knows it’s for “school”. However, if it is a truly great book, well written, living, funny, mysterious, etc he will talk in his own words for 20 minutes! So. I know he CAN narrate. But when I ask, it’s a word or a sentence or two for an entire book that I know was pretty good and he liked reading. We’re working on that. Oy.
I also have stopped assigning quite as many as I was and just put them in a basket for their required quiet times. He has become a voracious reader. My DS 10 likes picture books and reads field guides on bugs for fun, but doesn’t like to read as much on his own, esp. finishing a chapter book. Prefers audios which we also do. So for his independent reading at bedtime, I just gather up picture books and chapter books,with some that are just a little easier to tempt him to keep reading.
Also,when they were younger, although you can do this at any age, was make a chart to fill in say 25, 50 or 100 books read and at the end is a special treat of their choosing with your approval of course, an outing, special time fishing with a grandpa all day with pizza at the end, something they are wanting for a hobby or project (bow and arrows, bug catching equipment, etc), zoo…
My DS 12 has really enjoyed and spontaneously narrated /re read :
Narnia,
the Mistmantle Chronicles (similar to Narnia),
The Green Ember series,
Swiss Family Robinson,
The Good Master,
books on blacksmithing (his current developing hobby),
wood carving,
outdoor survival skills, etc.
The Princess and the Goblin, and Princess and Curdie books (Christian allegory, fantasy)
Before he took off reading, these were enjoyed:
Grandma’s Attic series
Mandy series
Sign of the Beaver
Trailblazer series of missionary stories
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