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Habit of Attention and child with language-based disability
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This has been a tough one for me to deal with. My daughter has language based disabilities and probably ADD. Often when I am reading to her, I allow her to draw or color. She seems to need something to do with her hands. She does seem to be hearing what is being read, although she misses integral parts of the story sometimes, if too much information is given too quickly, or she will process some things in the wrong way.
I am having her tested in September, so I may be given some recommendations for working with her then, but maybe there are some here with the same type of child, who could offer suggestions as far as teaching the habit of attention, even with a learning disability like hers. Should I always be letting her draw when reading, or should I require her to sit and listen sometimes with her hands in her lap? I know she could be following along in the book, but her dyslexia poses a problem with that. That is why I still do most of the reading. I feel sometimes like I need to make her put pencil and paper away, but then she fidgits and bites nails, etc. Usually when we are doing Bible I do not let her draw. She needs to be still and listen. If there are pictures in the book I am reading, that helps keep her attention, But, because she is older (12), most of the books do not have many pictures.
Is is a bad thing to almost always be letting her do something with her hands when she is to be paying attention. I think about church. She likes to write during church, but isn’t it good to learn to sit and listen with ‘hands in the lap’ sometimes, even kids like her? I keep thinking that while she is focusing on her writing/drawing, she is not hearing all that is being said. I’m just not quite sure where to go with this. Any thoughts?
I have an 11 1/2 year old boy with dyslexia, ADHD, and SPD. Sitting still is nearly impossible for him. We have a variety of things he can bounce on/fidget with while we do school. It’s easier for him to listen when he has something to do with his hands or body.
I know that sounds counterintuitive but Sonya talks about this on one of her DVDs, so I know I’m not crazy (in this area at least!). She says that for many kids, sitting still requires so much energy/effort that it takes all of their concentration. Then they have nothing left to pay attention to the lesson. I have definitely found this to be true.
The trick is figuring out what my son can fiddle with that won’t engross him so he forgets to listen. A little hand-held fidget is fine. Lego Mini-Figures are fine. A stretchy band, a Stay-Ball, or jumping on the trampoline are fine. But we tried Thinking Putty and he likes it so much that he forgets to listen to the lesson! So I don’t use Thinking Putty during school.
This month is our first time using CM methods, so I will be focusing on the Habit of Attention more than in the past. But I still plan to allow ds to fidget. I am hopeful that our much shorter readings will help him build his attention span. But there is no way he could just sit with his hands in his lap. No way. Asking him to do that would just frustrate both of us.
All of this to say you are not alone! And hopefully it helps to know that Sonya specifically addressed this and said many kids can’t sit still–and that is OK.
Thanks, Christina. That helps. The shorter lessons CM way ARE best:) I have to figure out which activities would not take attention away from what is being read. She loves to draw, so that is often what I allow her to do. Although I allow her to draw, I have told her I don’t want her writing words. I think that would take more concentration. She has tried to ‘take notes’ in church, but I find her trying to ‘copy’ what is being said, so she is writing a statement she hears and by the time she finishes writing it, the pastor has made a half dozen more. I believe my daughter has SPD as well. If she is not doodling in church, she will hold her hand out for me to massage her palm and between her fingers. She relaxes when I do that.
I have tried squishy things in her hands, but I need to look more into finding something that may work for her to manipulate in her hands if she is not drawing, and also pay attention to what may engross her too much. I just needed to know I am not doing her a disservice by letting her do these things during school and church.
We spent a full year working with an occupational therapist for fine/gross motor and SPD. The OT recommended all sorts of fidgets and regulating activities to make listening easier. So at least one professional agrees that you want to help the child listen instead of just demanding sitting still. And I think that’s pretty standard. Our son does most of his seat work sitting on a weighted exercise ball. It is way better than a regular chair!
I can’t say enough how huge it is having our son’s SPD regulated. His ADHD is almost gone now compared to before we did the OT–and our school time is 100% easier. If you suspect SPD, I would encourage you to find a good OT who specializes in sensory stuff. Everyone around us could immediately tell how much calmer and more “in sync” our son was once we finished our summer of intense work on the SPD. And the best part is that *he* can tell how much calmer he is. He is proud of how hard he worked and enjoys feeling more in sync with the world.
We also removed food coloring from his diet and limited screen time to 2 hours per day, per the OT. Those two things were huge in helping him to regulate. Screen time makes him all jittery and hyper, but there’s a delay so we hadn’t made the correlation. Once we limited it, we could really see a difference on days when he got extra. Phew! How did we not see that sooner?
Anyway, hope this all helps. It’s interesting how so many dyslexic kiddos also deal with ADHD and SPD and similar challenges, isn’t it? But it’s so rewarding when the pieces of the puzzle come together and we help them thrive!
Thanks again for the encouragement, Christina. I will wait until she has her testing done next month and see what is recommended. She did have OT when she was young, but that ended at school age, and we didn’t know there were these sensory issues. I wish too that I would have known these things sooner. Angie developed a major dislike for school through 3rd and 4th grade. Her attitude is getting better, but being in 6th grade now, I feel like I have lost some teaching time with her because I kept trying different curriculum. I hope what I have chosen for this year will make an impact.
Screen time…….a problem here as well. I have been trying to limit it, but not to an exact time. That is something I will have to implement. My daughter is adopted. Last year at our convention, a couple was there sharing resources from their ministry to families, primarily to families with adopted children, although these things could apply to any children. I purchased some of their booklets. They adopted 7 children, including a sibling group of 5, who all had learning disabilities. In one of their booklets they share what they did with these children, and today not one has a learning disability. I gave the books to some friends who adopted, so I don’t have them with me. One thing was eliminate screen time for a certain period of time. Others were eliminating sugar, bpa, I think dyes, and so much exercise so many times a day. After a certain period of time, they say to slowly add some of these things back in, but I found it difficult to totally eliminate it. It would take some willpower. I think I need to look at my notes from those books again:)
If anyone is interested in reading about their ministry and resources, it is http://www.conqueredbylove.org.
One thing I just remembered from the booklet is eliminate all music except classical and traditional hymns. It does make a difference for these kids with learning disabilities and SPD. My daughter is very musically inclined, so she likes to listen to music. I can tell that when she hears music that is loud and beaty, it has a negative affect on her. This IS one area I have been regulating. And it is definitely CM:)
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