Does high school have to be independent?

I grew up in a very close family and, though we homeschooled, we didn’t really do any class work together. So, don’t feel that family studies has to be there for family closeness.

That said, the reason many of us want independent work for highschool kids is because we are trying to prepare them for adulthood. We still want our adult kids to be emotionally close to us, but we want them to be able to make their own schedules, get their jobs done without our supervision, etc.  Obviously, there are ways outside of school hours to learn those skills.  But that’s one of my major goals in adding independent work.

I agree with pretty much everything said above.

I was HSed growing up and we were independent for all our studies, didn’t know about family studies back then, and we were all still close. We just talked a lot about everything.

My oldest is entering 9th grade and she has really enjoyed branching out the last couple years in different subjects here and there. She is still with us, in the same room, I am still checking in with her, but she gets so excited when she reads something and says, “Mom, did you know…” and she gets to tell me about what she is learning. I don’t think independence means alone or away from the family, it is just creating good habits of self learning. It is like moving from coach to cheerleader for me. And cheerleader is pretty fun. Encouraging when math gets hard, sharing excitement when an experiment she did on her own actually worked…

Hi Amber,

We here at SCM fully support family learning.  You will find our history guides are written so that families share resources daily and then separate to read books independently that go into age appropriate details.  Our Enrichment Studies (composer and artist studies, poetry, art instruction, handicrafts, Shakespeare, and nature study) are written as a family guide as well.  We believe rich discussions happen within a family and the young and old of the group grow and gain new insights from other family members.  Math, language arts, and upper level sciences are subjects that we feel must be completed at the students level as they are skill based subjects.

I am finding these posts very timely. And I agree with them all. I did want to add that the individual student’ needs should be the deciding factor, not an age or grade. Of course our kids are headed for the real world without mommy to direct their college classes and career responsibilities so learning to learn, self motivate, plan, and execute are necessary skills. So are patience (waiting for a younger sibling to narrate), consideration (not interrupting), appreciation for another’s strengths or weaknesses (I narrate great but you are a great artist). These are also life skills. My ds begged to be released  from family time in 10th grade. I allowed it with a broken heart, knowing that doing school on his own was what he needed. My dd is about to be in 9th grade and I will not allow her to do school alone. She has the independence thing down cold. She is very introverted and would be fine if I sent her off on her own, but I don’t think it would be good for her in the long run. For her the family interaction is what she needs now. I think don’t stress it. If the time comes that your student needs to be more independent you will both know and it will be very natural for you to make he change. It will just feel right.

We do a mix and it shifts as the child requests it to. My oldest has just finished her first year of college and I asked her about how she felt homeschooling did and did not prepare her for college and adult life:

“Overall, I feel like I was more prepared than many of the college freshman I interacted with because I already knew how to make my own study schedule and spread project work out over a few weeks, instead of waiting to finish it the day before it was due. Several of my professors asked me if I had been homeschooled, because I speak up in class, answer questions, and ask questions if I don’t understand something.

Academically, the only area I feel I wasn’t as well prepared in is math, but math has been my nemesis for a long time. I knew going in that I would make use of the math lab and doing my work there each week was great because there was someone right there able to help when I got stuck.

I am also glad I still got to be part of some of our read alouds, and that you worked with me on some of my subjects. I also liked doing some subjects on my own.

I was able to balance college and a job. I already knew how to take care of my dorm, do my laundry, etc. I was able to be a nanny, feed and take care of little kids, do diapers, help with housework, etc.”

Amber, I understand! That separation of older teens is hard on our mama hearts. I have 10 kiddos, so this fall besides the college daughter I will have 2 high school, 2 middle school, 3 elementary school, and a 4yo and 2yo. Here is what we do:

• Daily family read aloud.
• Daily family scripture study.
• Same history curriculum/time period. We do short lessons together and then the older kids get to branch off into their own books. They narrate those books to me. I try to read along, or read over the summer the books I think we’ll use.
• Regular sharing of current science studies between older and younger kids. (Going both ways! The younger ones love sharing with the older kids too.)
• Nature study as a family.
• Singing/music as a family.
• Chore time as a family.
• Family service projects.

It gets a bit more scattered when high schoolers are 16+ and have a job, but we try to maintain our routine and they join when they are home.