Disciplining – MYSELF

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  • June 20, 2008 at 5:18 am
    live2inspire
    Participant

    I don’t want to bother you all with my struggle, but I would like to know what your best ways are in disciplining yourselves to do what you need to do in your duties as a mother, wife, teacher, individual, etc. I need help – I realized this last night when I went to bed (once again) at 2:30 a.m. I feel like I’m in a crazy nightmare right now. One where I feel I need time – I need MORE time to figure homeschooling out – I need MORE time to finalize our updated summer schedule and implement it – I need MORE time to redo our meal planning with special diet considerations now – I need…, I need…, I need…, MORE…,MORE…, MORE…, time…., time…., time… It’s draining! This is all wrong and I know Satan is causing me to run in circles after my own little sad tail. I know this isn’t healthy for my soul, and this is why I’m very concerned. Please share any similar experiences and how you managed to get yourself out of the hole Satan longed to keep you in.

    I always feel like we have so much going on in our lives, but then I can’t help to think of a woman who runs the farm where we get our raw/fresh farm products from. Her family runs the farm, runs a store located on the farm, homeschools, teaches square dancing, gives informational meetings regarding diet/nutrition, they perform (sing) as a family throughout the year publicly, they have a family of 8 children, the girls sew all their own clothes, the list goes on and on….HOW do they manage? What am I doing wrong?…I often ask myself.

    Discipline – that’s what’s wrong…our Lord made me realize it just last night. How do you all discipline yourselves? Seems like a silly question, but for me, the answer could be soul-saving.

    Please, share some of your wisdom. 🙂

    June 20, 2008 at 1:16 pm
    Bookworm
    Participant

    The very FIRST thing to do is to stop comparing yourself to Susie Homeschooler on the farm. I’m sure she’s an admirable woman, but God called you to be YOU and not her. You want to measure up to GOD’s standard for your life, not someone else’s life. You can’t hear His voice to you if you are looking at someone else. OK.

    NEXT. Enlist your family’s help for an hour or two alone. You need a quiet place to figure out some priorities to start with. You cannot change 50 things at once. You need to pray, to write down all the things you WISH you could do better, and then to choose ONE. Yes, ONE. Choose one thing to work on. When you feel that thing is handled, choose another. You are scattering your energy right now, and you need to focus it like a laser beam. 🙂 Also, you cannot do this by yourself. You need the Lord’s help. He is RIGHT THERE eager to help you.

    Are you getting a regular few minutes for devotion and prayer? It doesn’t have to be a long time. If you are not getting that yet, you might consider making that one a high priority.

    Then just take one thing at a time. You need to lay down habits. I don’t know what you need to start with. But, you’ll laugh, when I begin working on a thing, I scatter sticky notes all over the house. Really. 🙂 Yes, sometimes company thinks I’m odd. But at least that thing I need to work on is before my eyes continually. 🙂

    I think most homeschoolers have at least had times where they felt like you feel now. God chose you for your current role because He knows you can do what He wants you to do. He doesn’t set up His precious daughters to fail! Take a deep breath.

    Some resources I wish I’d had years ago:

    Laying Down the Rails by Sonya

    Homeschooling at the Speed of Life by Marilyn Rockett

    Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World by Joanna Weaver (was very helpful to me in settign priorities and in striving to be close to the Lord first)

    I will put you on my prayer list. I hope you get lots of other helpful responses, too, and keep us informed on how you are doing.

    Hang in there . . . and more importantly, hang on Him!

    Michelle D

    June 20, 2008 at 1:26 pm
    Misty
    Participant

    Oh, boy hun I wish I could just wrap my arms around you and say “NOTHING” you are doing appsolutely NOTHING wrong.

    1st is the ovious and I know you know this.. DONT compare yourself to what you think is the “supermom” cause she just doesn’t exsit. Mary Jesus’ mom was the only supermom and she didn’t run a store, sing publicy (that I know of :o) ) you get the idea. I bet if you had a heart to heart with this mom she would tell you of all her woe’s to. All her struggles, of all the “time” she wishes she had. Enough about her..

    You are DOING GREAT BETTER THAN GREAT@!! You are a wife, friend, a mother, a home keeper, a teacher, a doctor, a taxi, a cook, a referee, and the list goes on and on.

    2nd does your hubby know you are feeling overwhelmed right now? Can he sense it? Are the little ones sensing it and also acting on it? If so STOP and take a bath!! I know where is the time.. tell that hubby that God gave you I need to have 15 min in a hot bubble bath “uninterupted”. And take it, take it all in and enjoy it for YOU!

    Then.. have a heart to heart with the man of your life, the one God gave to you, and tell him how you need some time to 1st and mainly have some real time with God to talk, pray and listen. Then to work on the things you feel are not getting done, school schedule, meal schedule, what ever it may be. We have places here that you can go to and use the cabins free if need be (donation is excepted). Maybe you could find somewhere like that for a day (if that’s all your family can handle/or you) a night or if at all possible(which isn’t for most) a weekend.

    Also, remember the WORLD tells us that we as moms should take all this “time” for ourselves. But the Word does not, it says there is a time for everything, and maybe right now you need that time for you, or maybe it’s just reminding you of what God wants of you right now. Maybe he is trying to teach you patients (have you been asking for more?), or peace (have you wanted it?)

    We don’t always know or understand why God does what and when he does but I do know that one thing is a MUST, find time wtih God and just “listen”.

    I don’t know if that helps, but I have been there and when I can’t seem to slow down that is when my hubby (who always can tell when I am going to blow) comes home and just says “GO”, go anywhere, the park, a walk, for coffee, with or without friends just go! I love him for that. That’s is why he was choosen for me.

    Prayer for you: God please help this wife, mother, friend make it through her tough time, keep Satan at bay and let her know that we are all with her in her struggles. We have been there, it will come again and we will all make it back. Give her strength, peace and patience as she comes to a better time. Guide her hubby to know what is best for her (and the children) and may you be at her side today and bless her with sleep tonight that Satan does not rob her of. In Jesus’ name.

    God bless you

    Misty

    June 20, 2008 at 4:32 pm
    csmamma
    Participant

    At first, I hesitated to reply because I too have felt the way you described only yesterday it seems. First, before I write anything, I have to second Mistys advice on sharing with your husband – as he is the perfect one to pray for you and guide you through this time. I love Michelles advice on seeking God first- like Mary sitting at the feet of Jesus.

    I read your post thismorning and as I went about my day, I silently thought about you and prayed for you. I’m reminded of James 4:7 “Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” Do you see what comes FIRST? “Submit therefore to God” As you submit to Him – your entire self, your days, your time, your waking, your sleeping – the devil will flee. GOD is the one who has the greatest hold on your life – He sees, He knows and He is FOR you! You belong to Him.

    I know that you had a more practical question about discipline – but felt this was for you. I can completely relate to your situation – that feeling of there not being enough time in the day – completely overwhelmed and not sure what to do next. All I could do during those times was to read through the Psalms and pray them back to God. I think we can all relate to Davids feelings of being in a pit, sinking in mirery clay and being overwhelmed by the many enemies that were trying to assalt him. God will exalt you as you humble yourself before Him.

    In your own strength you will have no discipline but when you lean on the Lord for HIS strength and HIS discipline – you will win every time! He is there for you! Though you may get discouraged because of your own unfaithfulness – HE ALWAYS REMAINS FAITHFUL and WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU NOR FORSAKE YOU!

    I will continue to pray for you. You are beLOVED of God! May He wrap you in His arms and lift you up above your circumstances – that you might see more clearly.

    Hugs,

    Heather

    June 21, 2008 at 3:30 am
    live2inspire
    Participant

    Michelle: You are so right when you say: “You are scattering your energy right now, and you need to focus it like a laser beam.” I do tend to dive into many things at once. Many people see me as organized, but in reality, I am the complete opposite in my thoughts. My mind is always racing as to what I have to do next…what’s most important?…it’s all important…o.k., what is screaming the loudest….but I really want to finish this first…but my children…and on and on and on! I do need to focus, and I like the way you put it. I’m sad to say I’ve neglected my PERSONAL daily prayer time and I know my soul has been screaming for some down time. I must get back into the habit. This is where the self-discipline needs to happen. I appreciate the resources you shared and will try to get my hands on them if possible. It’s always helpful to know what’s helped others in/from these days of borderline despair. I thank you for your prayers and I will report back when, with the help of the Holy Spirit, I’ve prioritized and have managed to see the light. (With all the words of wisdom, I’m filled with hope.)

    Misty: Take a bubble bath….ah…just the thought relaxes me. I will make this a priority within the next couple of days. What a perfect way to settle myself and mentally prioritize. Your beautiful prayer – a heartfelt “thank you” for lifting me up to our Lord. I will come back to your post (daily probably), to read your prayer.

    Heather: You mentioned that you “hesitated to reply”…I thank our Lord for encouraging you to do so. I will be keeping the words of St. James stored in my heart. You hit on something when you mentioned “Though you may get discouraged because of your own UNFAITHFULNESS..” (I added the caps) This is truly the root of my problem. I see it more clearly now, even though it’s been whispered in my heart for the last few weeks but sadly ignored. I plan on taking your advice and will start praying the Psalms.

    Again, I thank each one of you deeply. Your prayers, support, words of wisdom – are all a beautiful act of kindness that will never be forgotten. I truly feel uplifted. I thank our Heavenly Father for loving me so deeply…for using you ladies as His instruments to help me on my “road to recovery”.

    I will keep all of you (and all homeschooling moms) in my DAILY prayers. I have to, because lately that’s the only thing that keeps me praying – when I’m praying for someone else.

    With loving gratitude,

    Rebecca

    June 21, 2008 at 11:57 am
    csmamma
    Participant

    Dear Rebecca,

    I just wanted to clarify my post. I didn’t mean to imply by anymeans that you WERE unfaithful to the Lord – only that we can all get discouraged and feel like we’re being unfaithful with the time He’s given us etc. – and especially when we “compare” ourself with what we think to be – the perfect homeschool mom. I can completely relate to your situation and only wanted to say that during those times of my life – it was our Lord Who reminded me of His faithfulness. I pray that He continues to whisper in your heart- just how faithful He has been to you, is to you and will be to you continually.

    Please keep us posted on how youre doing and share any time. 🙂

    Heather

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