Did I do this right? My instinct says NO. :)

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  • I read my kids the story of Van Gogh and I tried to not touch too much on the suicide, but they wondered so much about it that I felt I shouldn’t gloss it over and told them the sadness involved. Now I wish I didn’t read it at all. I am not against keeping things realistic, but I feel that i put a yucky idea in their head, KWIM?

    Discussion would be appreciated. Thanks!

    Bookworm
    Participant

    If the topic has already come up, I’d definitely bring up the idea of mental illness, telling children that there are some illnesses that affect the way our mind feels as well as how our body feels, and that in past days, many people who suffered from these diseases had no medications and no way to help them.  Today we do have some ways to help people affected in this manner.  But these things were not available to Vincent Van Gogh.  He had people in his life who loved him very much and tried to help him, but in the end  his illness was just too great and he could no longer cope with how he felt, and so he felt the only way  was to end his own life.  This is sad.  But then I’d definitely bring up that although illnesses like this still exist and can affect people seriously, there are ways to help.  People today sometimes feel so sad they also feel like doing this, but whenever this happens to us or to someone we know, we can do many things–prayer, religious help, doctor’s help, possibly medications, therapy (talking help) love and support from family and friends.  If you present this as an aspect of illness, and stress that there are  many things today one can do to help, and encourage them to tell you if they or a friend ever feel this way so that all the helping ways can be brought, then I think they’ll be OK.  We’ve had this discussion at my house; Van Gogh is one of my favorite artists.  My children handled it fine, and also discussions about my own depressive episodes at times. 

    Michelle D

    Heather
    Participant

    I read a kids story about Van Gogh to my children.  It was a “Smart about Art” book here: http://www.amazon.com/Vincent-Van-Gogh-Sunflowers-Swirly/dp/0448425211/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1314731457&sr=1-5

    The book included the part about him cutting off his ear and the suicide.  As far as the ear cutting part, I thought it was neat how my children made the relation to the event in the NT when Peter cut off the priest’s servant’s ear and Jesus healed it.  Two days later I heard my 6 year old telling his friend in co-op “When you get older, if someone cuts off part of their ear and gives it to you as a present, you had better call the police because that means they are CRAZY!”  Well, after they heard that part of Van Gogh’s story, I don’t think they were surprised at much else.  They thought it was tragic that he was so sad that he killed himself, but thay understand that those apart from Christ can feel like they have no reason to live, and as Christians, Christ is our reason to live.

    My kids are 5, 6 and 9.  I don’t let them watch violence on TV so it’s not something they are accustomed to, but in a book about someone true life, I try to share what is appropriate from a Biblical Worldview.  I am considered overprotective by the standards of most people I know, but I never want to sugarcoat the effects of sin in a person’s life either. πŸ™‚ Hope this helps some.  I know we all have to make our own decisions based on our own convictions, this is just my take πŸ™‚

    Bookworm, we must have been typing at the same time!  Yes, we also discussed the medical issues about the reality of depression as well!

    Misty
    Participant

    We openly discussed it also because it is real.  Things are not always peaches and cream.  I’m sure you did fine.  Take your time to answer any other questions they have, even if that means you saying I’m not sure how to answer that right now.  Give me time to think about it and ask dad (that always buys me time LOL) a good way to tell you.

    Sara B.
    Participant

    I also think talking candidly and openly about it will help them later on in the future.  I also suffered through depression in high school and wanted to end my life.  I still sometimes get post-partum depression after I’ve had a baby.  They’ve been too young to understand Mommy’s sadness and sluggishness when I had it after my 3rd, but if it happens again after a pregnancy, at least the oldest few will be able to get some knowledge in it.  I would never hide bad things that happen.  But explain it from a Christian point of view, and be open to their questions.  Unfortunately we can’t protect them from everything.  My kids (ages 8, 7, and 4) all know about abortion, have for a couple years now.  They understand it, and they can’t imagine why anyone would do that.  To have a faith like a child….  But none of them had a hard time dealing with it, and no nightmares have come from anything we’ve ever talked to them about.

    Thanks for your perspectives. It helps to know that you all have these discussions with your young ones too. Sometimes I wonder if I introduce things too early or make things too serious. I feel better now. πŸ™‚ Thank you again!

    Nancy
    Member

    Wow, I am really touched by all of these thoughtful posts.  I just happened across this post since it was recent, –we got Giotto for this year but touched a bit on VG last year.  Many people I love have struggled in various ways (my mom, most of all) with depression and other mental illnesses.  I want to equip my kids to know about it and be aware, and compassionate, and hopeful… I so appreciate the kind and insightful things you all have said.  Sometimes I think we can wait too long on serious topics and then it’s harder to make the impact (with God’s love, grace and hope in the forefront) that we want.  Thanks for sharing! Blessings!

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