Confused and Overwhelmed This Upcoming Year

I understand how you feel in part – we faced 7th grade last year for the first time.  I don’t know why, but it suddenly makes things more ‘real’ when you are moving to jr high ages. Just know you are not alone!  We got through it just fine.  I did a series about how I approached planning for that child’s year with her input if you want to read it. 

This year I’ve not had the same worries at all, so know that you can get through it and it won’t always be this scary/worrisome.

I think that you are experiencing the most universal part of homeschool– well maybe parenting really. We all question our choices, we look at what others are doing and notice we are doing it different. Then we assume one or the other of us must be wrong. But if before you talked to your friend about what they were doing you felt things were going well, then they probably are!

Middle school and High School both feel like huge transitions were we must suddenly expect them to be doing so much more. I can’t remember where I read it but someone had a great blog post about “your 13 year old is not a 16 year old” or something like that. It was a great reminder that our middle schoolers are still growing, developing and learning. Just because your middle schooler isn’t ready for college level work it doesn’t mean they won’t be at 16 ( or 17 or 18). There is still a lot of maturing and skill building to do in those Middle school grade. There is also a lot of sudden growth (and occasional temporary regression) that takes place in Middle school. The adolescent brain is a crazy thing! Now if there is an area where on independent evaluation (meaning not comparing to what others are doing) you thing your kids need improvement then, by all means, look at ways to make reasonable strides toward that.

We have tried the Lifepacs approach. We hated it, and it certainly didn’t seem more challenging then reading real books and writing real narrations ( or even then doing real copy work). The reason it makes people feel like they are “keeping up” is just that they have a nice convienent test or worksheet that can be marked right or wrong. With a Charlotte Mason type education you don’t get that– which is nerve racking sometimes! It’s hard to trust yourself.

Teach the child, not the curriculum. I just heard that from my evaluator again. I have graduated 3, and now with my youngest being a struggler, I have to keep reminding myself of that. Even if your child is not a struggler, you choose what you believe is best for him/her as an individual. I get caught up in comparing what we are doing to what others are doing, and it has caused me to have unrealistic expectations for my struggler. Education is not ‘one size fits all’. Isn’t that one of the reasons we homeschool? So we can decide how we want to teach our children? There is so much curriculum out there, so we know there is variation in what/how things are taught. My evaluator said to me once, what is important is that the child is progressing. Even in the upper grades there will be variation in what is taught. So, don’t let what others are doing spoil your joy in teaching your child(ren). I am telling this to myself as well. The past two years have been difficult, trying to find ‘just the right curriculum’. I may still question whether I am using the right thing when it comes to the academics, but one thing I do know is that the most important things I want to teach my daughter are found in just one Book. In the end, that is what will really count.