ADHD child & focusing on tasks

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  • caedmyn
    Participant

    I believe my 11 YO DD has ADHD. She is VERY easily distracted, fairly impulsive, and cannot seem to stop talking. She focuses reasonably well on schoolwork as long as she does it in her room where it’s relatively quiet and there’s not a lot to distract her. She has a terrible time focusing on household tasks, such as getting ready for the day and kitchen clean-up. She cannot even come out of her room to feed her guinea pig without getting wrapped up in whatever her brothers are doing and forgetting what she’s supposed to be doing. It is not practical in a household with 5 children to make sure she has a quiet space to do every single task that she needs to do–she has to learn to focus with some distractions.

    I have tried timers, checklists, consequences, and rewards, and she still gets distracted constantly. When I try something new, typically it helps for a few days, and then she’s back to her old level of distraction. I’ve read the book Smart but Scattered. I got tired of having to stay on top of her and nag/remind her to stay on task, and stopped reminding her but added natural consequences, such as, if she’s not completely ready for the day by the time breakfast is ready, we sit down to eat and do RAs without her and she has to go finish getting ready. Thus far this has not made any difference in her focusing. But she manages to get ready quite quickly once she realizes she’s missing out on food/RAs, and if, say, a fun activity was starting soon she’d manage to get her chores done with minimal sidetracks. So I know she CAN concentrate, when she sets her mind to it…she just doesn’t choose to. I think she genuinely is very easily distracted, but at some point she needs to start trying harder to self-regulate, and that just isn’t happening. I don’t know that I buy into the line of thinking that says “she has ADHD so she just can’t focus”, because I see that she can when she wants to.

    All that to say…I could really use any suggestions on how to motivate her to focus better. Or even on how to survive life with ADHD kids. I don’t like the idea of meds and DH would never agree anyway, but sometimes I wonder how much easier my life would be if she, and her 8 YO brother who’s pretty severely ADHD, were on them. I gave both of them DHA/EPA for a while but it made no difference at all that I could see. We’re pretty careful what we eat, no gluten, no dyes or flavors or preservatives, and it makes no difference.

    retrofam
    Participant

    Hang in there:)  Keep up the natural consequences approach you described.   It models real life.

    I know what you mean about being frustrated because they can focus sometimes.   I figured that out, and became frustrated.  The truth is that at this time they can’t do it consistently,  so it is what it is.   Praise the successes.

    Make sure that you get breaks from your children, so that you can recharge.   It is difficult,  but rewarding work;)

     

    Mellissa
    Participant

    I have a child like this. I decided to use Chorepacks for the whole family, just to help us with our consistency of habit in our chores. However, to my surprise, my child that has trouble focusing asked if I could make him a pack that includes *everything* he is supposed to do in his daily routine. I included cards even for brushing teeth, making bed, handicrafts, and play time. To my surprise he loves it and follows it! He wears it around and flips the card when he’s done with one thing and it’s time for the next. I think it helps because he’s a visual learner and so I chose the “non-reader” cards because they have pictures, even though he is an excellent reader. I was thinking that after some time I would turn it into a memory game and see what he can remember without the cards. I was pleased when he came to me with the same idea; “Mommy guess what? I bet if I keep using these every day I’ll be able to remember without having to look, then I can try doing it without the cards.” It was music to my soul!

    http://www.chorepacks.com/

    Karen
    Participant

    The most recent Pam Barnhill podcast talked about Brain Training — they didn’t go in depth, but it sounded like something I should look into for my distractable daughter…..maybe it would help you, too.

    She mentioned playing games like Spot It and Qwirkle because of how they make the brain think.

    I’m sorry I have no suggestions for you! But know that you’re not the only one in this boat!!! 🙂

     

    Lacey
    Participant

    Hi mama,

    My oldest boy isn’t ADHD, but has a hard time with distraction.  An OT we know recommended this wonderful “time timer” for him.  In her words “It gives the timer the power, and then you (mama) can step away”.  It has helped tremendously with the every day tasks that I was soooooooooo tired of having to micro manage.

    We have a large whiteboard on the kitchen wall that lists our meals + everyone’s chores.  After breakfast, I set the timer for generally 45 minutes (it varies on when breakfast finishes up; school starts at 8:30).  I say once “All chores need to be done before 8:30”.  He has no trouble completing his tasks any longer and I don’t get involved, yay!!!

    Time Timer: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B010D4Y6KW/ref=sxr_rr_xsim1?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_p=2795440402&pd_rd_wg=4PdEW&pf_rd_r=YTX2P53TA1RZZN4P7410&pf_rd_s=desktop-rhs-carousels&pf_rd_t=301&pd_rd_i=B010D4Y6KW&pd_rd_w=jy99B&pf_rd_i=time+timer&pd_rd_r=K8E0TFB4RBMVBTADM6D1&ie=UTF8&qid=1486329940&sr=1

    It’s about 4″ in diameter and has a strong magnet on the back.

    Blessings mama 🙂

    psreitmom
    Participant

    Focus Pocus – 100 ways to keep your child’s attention

    Google this. This was offered free some years back, so I have it printed out. I saw it costs $15 to get it now, but I thought I’d mention it. Sorry I am on a tablet and don’t know how to paste the link.

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