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When does your 9-10 yr old go to bed?
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My ds is 9. He has a very, very hard time going to sleep..always have! Think baby-now! We have tried everthing ..I mean everything..baths..reading..quiet time…lots and lots of exercise! So now I am thinking he might be going to bed too early. He lies there at least 1 hr to 1hr and half before falling asleep. BTW, I used to be the same way when I was little and even as an adult!
The only thing is he and his brother are in the same room and they have free time talking for 30 minutes. I guess I could tell him to come out when they are finished? BUT…dh and I have our time together when they go to bed..so what to do???
It used to bother him that it took him sooo long and bro so quickly! Then, I told him not to worry just go to sleep when you can. He was fine w/ that for a while. Now he is getting up saying, I can’t go to sleep!! Sigh!
Thanks in advance!
As soon as our children become proficient readers we gift them with a booklight. They are free to read or draw quietly at bedtime until falling asleep. We also have CD players in the kids rooms so that they can enjoy audio books or relaxing music. Hope this helps! Oh, and you shouldn’t give up your time with your husband. That’s important!
I didn’t answer your question.
My ten year old goes to bed between 8:30-9 on school days, usually by 10 on weekends.My 8yo goes to bed at 8:30, with 30 minutes for reading after that, then lights out at 9:00 – although occasionally things happen and he just goes to bed at 9 with lights out right away.
I agree – don’t give up your time alone/with husband. I also agree with experimenting with audio books or music…
(And I had that trouble as a child too – and still can as an adult!)
Lights out around 9:00 – in bed at 8, prayers and Scripture Memorization following that, and then storytime with Daddy.
My 10YO, though, is known to sneak downstairs afterwards to try to get some one-on-one time with me. I love that, but I don’t love the attitude the next day from lack of sleep, so I usually don’t let him stay up.
My boys 9-13 all go down at 8pm. I will make a few comments as you might think that is so early.
1. Dh leaves for work at 430am so he needs his sleep
2. We need a few minutes from 8-9 usually to have time alone.
3. As mentioned they are to go into there beds at 8 but my 13 yr old usually goes to sleep around 9.
4. they can read with a book light
5. They may go to bed usually when they like (mind you they are in bed) BUT they must be ready to get up and go at 7am prompt. I walk in shades are open, light is on.
That’s just for us. But it works. good luck!
OK..may try book light too! They do have a calming instrumental cd playing..actually most of the night!
His problem is he says he is thinking too much! LOL! Sounds like me! Whatever it is that he has done for the day he thinks it over and over. The book suggestion sounds great..but what if he “thinks” about that too!! Well, I suppose you can’t just turn off your thinking! I have tried to get him to concentrate on one specific thing..like Books of the Bible, or remembering a trip we took!
Misty, everyone does what works best for their family! Mine sleep until 8-8:30! When my sister’s kids were young..long long ago..she would let them stay up very late! I mean till 11! And they would sleep until 10-11 the next day! Even on school nights they would go to bed late! I just never understood!
Thanks everyone..keep them coming! 🙂
Our 11 and 12 year old (and this has been our rule since they were around 9 and 10), is that they are in bed at 9:30, lights out at 10. As our kids get older, into their teenage years (we have one who is 16) and they show maturity, they start becoming more responsible on their own for getting to bed at a good time for them. If we notice attitudes or anything like that, then Dad and I step in to talk about whether or not bedtime needs to be adjusted. They aren’t required to be up until 8 am the next morning. When hubby and I need some time just to ourselves, they are free to go do something on the other level of the house. Adult bedroom is downstairs, and the kids bedrooms are upstairs. Maybe if you want to let your kid stay up when you need time with the hubby, just send him to a seperate section of the house (if this is possible. Our house is small, but we’re blessed with a good layout for when we need alone time).
Our children are 6 and almost 8, and they go to bed by 8:00 most nights. Two or three nights a week, it might be closer to 8:30. They usually wake up between 7:45-8:00 a.m., but have to stay in bed to do their personal devotional and have free reading time until 8:30 a.m. At that point, they get up, make beds, get dressed, and help with breakfast. The 6yo will still fall asleep during rest time most days, but my 7yo has outgrown naps.
He has to lay with his eyes closed and rest for 45 min to an hour, but then I let him play quietly or read until the 6yo gets up. If they stay up later, they don’t sleep any later. On weekends, they’re in bed by 9:00-10:00.I was just thinking about bumping ds’s bedtime to a later time since he’s older now. Hmmmm…I think dh and I will have to discuss this!
Actually, you can learn to stop your thoughts – but it isn’t easy. This was something I needed to learn to do when I suffered badly from insomnia. It takes practice, but it can be done….
A few tips on that…
If thinking about things you need to remember / need to do…. write it down (have paper and pen near bed) – then if you start thinking about it – tell yourself that you no longer need to worry/remember it.
I was also taught to imagine my mind/body sort of like a factory with 2 work shifts… Day shift is for thinking, learning, doing things. The Night shift is for resting, growing, healing, and dreaming (including memory recording.) So once in bed and ready to sleep – you need to imagine the “whistle” blowing and the shifts changing. Then if you keep being bothered by thoughts – imagine someone from the night shift seeing someone from the day shift in the factory and telling them that they need to go until the morning.
Ok – it sounds kind of silly, and not sure if you could convince a young person to try it – but it can really help a lot.
Thanks for that idea suzukimom! I will try that on my son. 🙂 My kids are in bed at 8;00-8:30. My one son has the same problem. He gets up before everyone else also. He use to have more problems when he drank milk. He was even worse. If he had spicey food he would have acid Reflux and it would keep him up even more. so, we cut those things out that we found really bothered him. Now he is a little better. We let the boys just talk as long as they are not bothering each other. I told my other child if he is talking just don’t talk back. He will get bored and finally go to sleep. This does work. We also like our time together after they go to bed. So we don’t let them run around.
I agree about the reading light. That seems to help. Our one son was reading to the other one. Then the light broke. ugh!.. 🙂 they did seem to enjoy it. 🙂 Blessings!
Wow. It sounds like my kids are about the only ones who go to bed early. Shhhh. Don’t tell them that!! DD6 goes to bed at 7 and DD8 goes to bed at 7:30. If DD8 has had a rough day with obeying or being respectful, then she goes to bed at 7 also. They tend to bother eachother and keep eachother up if they go to bed at the same time. When going to bed separately DD6 is asleep almost instantly. I had also been noticing for a while that DD8 was laying a wake for an hour sometimes before falling asleep when they were both going to bed at 7, so we started letting her stay up until 7:30 and bedtime is so much smoother and she does go to sleep quicker. They both sleep until 7 every morning. Twice this week I even put them to bed at 6:30 (DD6) and 7 (DD8) and the slept until 7:30!!
I know my kids are younger than yours. I expect by the time they are 9/10 then bedtime will be 7:30 or 8. But, llike previous posters said, dh and I need our alone time!! Maybe by the time the kids are older and staying up later we’ll have a big enough house to send them to another area. Right now we are in a house under 800 sq ft, so it is hard to be by yourself.
My 9yo goes to sleep at 9pm and wakes every morning between 7-715. His sleep pattern is like clockwork. He will wake at 7am even if we managed to get him to stay up later. He announces bedtime even if we are in the middle of a family activity. If he is still awake at 930, he stresses out.
My 6yo is my difficult sleeper. She goes to bed at 9pm but it isn’t uncommon for her to be awake at 10pm. She will wake between 745am -9am. She usually sleeps in 1-2 days per week, and we have learned NOT to wake her. If we wake her, she’s grumpy all day and has a more difficult time sleeping the next night. I think her ideal sleep schedule would be 11pm-9am.
It’s interesting that chocodog mentioned milk. We have introduced her to almond milk a couple of weeks ago and her sleep has been better. She has been up with her brother for several mornings this week which is very unusual.
One of the problems we have with doing an even earlier bedtime is…. out of house activities. Even though most days my children go to bed at 8/8:30…..
Tuesdays is Group Violin – we don’t get home until about 8:30 with my 6yo and 8yo…
Thursdays is Cubs/Beavers – again it is almost 8:30 when we get home with the whole family (Cubs goes until 8 – and we have to take a bus home and walk 1km!)
and now one Wednsday a month my 8yo will be going to Church for Activity Days – his ride won’t be leaving until about 8:45 – so won’t be home until 9:00.
These are all important activities to our family. It would be an even bigger disruption to their sleep patterns if they went to bed earlier.
Isn’t it great that we homeschool? If they had to go to public school then they would have to get up at 6 am and get rushed to meet a bus before 7am. Then, they would get off the bus around 4.45pm then eat, do homework, get a bath and get to bed without any outside activities or they may suffer in school the next day. 🙂
Glad I don’t have to get up at 6am with them. I use to do this and I am less stressed now and so are they. 🙂
My ten year old goes to bed between 8:30-9 on school days, usually by 10 on weekends.
He has to lay with his eyes closed and rest for 45 min to an hour, but then I let him play quietly or read until the 6yo gets up. If they stay up later, they don’t sleep any later. On weekends, they’re in bed by 9:00-10:00.
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