I have a 7.5 yr. old dd who absolutely never wants to pray in front of anyone, not even Mommy and Daddy. She is not shy on a usual basis, but when it comes time to pray at meal time or bed time she always wants us to pray and if we ask her to, she refuses. Let me just tell you all that we don't and never have forced her to pray. We believe that a relationship with God is very personal and we don't want to force her. I just feel a little down about it and don't know how to encourage her. Have any of you ever experienced this with your children??? If so, what did you do??? Did they ever get to the point where this changed??? This has been the case for the last 3 yrs. or so. I just want to make sure I'm doing what I can to encourage her to talk to God. The only thing I can think of is to make sure that we set a good example and just continue to give her opportunity without pressuring. Any Thoughts???
What if your child never wanted to pray???
(21 posts) (16 voices)-
NJcountrygal
MemberPosted 1 year ago # Report Post -
My youngest boys are 8yo. They are like this. I agree that setting an example and not pressuring is wise. I did, however, talk with them one day about prayer and how it's the way God has asked us to talk with Him and how important it is to talk to those we love. And if we love our family and friends, how much more should we love God. I stressed the importance of tellling God of our graditude to Him and every day after we have our Bible time, I pray. Before I say "amen" each boy says, "Thank you, God, for _______." Simple, and there is no pressure. I do encourage them to give some thought to what they're thankful for and I won't allow silliness. As time goes on, they may...or may not...be more comfortable about praying in public. And whichever it is, it's their personal lives and what is in their hearts that will speak louder than audible words to Him.
Posted 1 year ago # Report Post -
I wouldn't push it with her. My dd6 is the type that freezes up and won't do things if she is put on the spot. She used to never want to pray either, but in the past 6 months or so she has all of a sudden started to do it often and without being asked. This has come right alongside a general increase in spiritual understanding in recent months as well - she has definetely started to take more personal ownership of her faith apart from what we may have told her. So, I'd say you are on the right track - continue to set the example, continue to give low-pressure opportunities, and also pray for God to work in her heart to come to a full understanding and personal ownership of her own faith.
Blessings,
JenPosted 1 year ago # Report Post -
My ds8 is also similar to this. He will pray at meal times, when it is ONLY our family, but never if anyone else is present. He does have personal devotions in the mornings before getting out of bed, and there are guided prayers in his book. He says he does them. At night, when we are tucking them in, we ask them if there's anything they want to pray for. Usuallly, they want to thank God for a good day or for a fun activity they got to do that day. If one of us is sick, ds will pray for that person if asked to, but not voluntarily. I agree with the others; don't make a big deal out of it. You never know what your child is saying to God in their own private prayers. And, maybe they're not saying anything on their own yet. They will eventually, you just have to trust that the examples you're modeling and the prayers you're praying over your children are not going unnoticed by them or by God.
Posted 1 year ago # Report Post -
sixtimemom
MemberMy youngest son who is now 12 was a lot like your daughter. He NEVER wanted to pray. He's the only one of my six children who never wanted to pray and at first I was concerned. But I decided not to make a big deal out of it. I cant tell you when it changed but he now is willing to pray out loud. He still doesn't pray out loud at church but I figure we're making progress and I am not going to push him because I know how hard it was for me to pray outloud around a bunch of people.
Posted 1 year ago # Report Post -
I'd say keep on modeling a prayerful relationship with Him. They more than likely have a silently prayerful habit already formed. ;0). The out loud part can come later. We are supposed to pray in our closets after all. :)
Becca<><
Posted 1 year ago # Report Post -
chocodog
MemberMy oldest daughter had this problem when she was little. We went to her best friends house and we were staying there late and they were putting her friend to bed. She wanted to go in so they let her sit there. She watched them pray and they asked her if she had any prayer requests and she said shook her head no. She didn't really close her eyes much because she was taking it all in. The next night she wanted to pray. She wanted to do it just like they did. So, We did. She must have set an example for the younger ones that are years younger because I have never had a problem after that... :)
Hope you have some good praying friends............... :)
Posted 1 year ago # Report Post -
Carmen
MemberI have different issue on praying. My children are 7.5 and 5, they don't mind to pray in front of family but every prayer is the same! Like "thank you God for the food, amen!" I tried to encourage them to pray differently but they just used to this kind of prayer, how should I change this "habit"?
Carmen
Posted 12 months ago # Report Post -
thepinkballerina
MemberCarmen, I think it's just that age. My girls do that as well, but my 9 yr old prays a little differentlyl each time now...It starts out the same, but she does mix it up. We talk about prayer requests ahead of time, then encourage at the table, please pray for ______. Usually my almost 5 yr old forgets to thank God for the food. lol I think modeling prayer in front of them will help in time.
Tara
Posted 12 months ago # Report Post -
Threekidsmom
MemberA really great resource for teaching and encouraging children to pray is a book called The Barber Who Wanted to Pray by R.C. Sproul. Its based on a true story and begins with a little girl asking her father how to pray in family devotions. He then shares with her a story about a barber, his desire to pray and Martin Luther's advice to him. My children and I LOVED it and it was really helpful!
Posted 12 months ago # Report Post -
Carmen
MemberThanks Tara, I think you are right! Modeling prayer is always the best tool in helping them to develop prayer "skill."
I like the prayer requests idea, I have been thinking making the weekly prayer list. Monday, pray for family; Tuesday, pray for church and pastors...etc.
I looked up CBD website, they have The barber who wanted to pray book! Thanks!
Carmen
Posted 12 months ago # Report Post -
You might consider giving her a prayer journal that is just for her to write her prayers in. You could let her deocrate and make it more personal for her. In our home, we have a "prayer chair" with a table next to it that has a jounral and some other children's books about God. It is never a place I force anyone to go to. There are times I invite a child to sit next to me and do their own journaling as I do mine. It has become a safe place and when they are experiencing "hard feelings" I will encourage them to "have some space in the prayer chair and tell God how they feel." This is particularly helpful when the child is angry with me and doesn't want to talk to me, but she will feel comfortable going to the prayer chair and writing about her feelings to God. If you are interested in more about the space we have and some of the "journal starters" I have given, I have wrtitten about it on a blogpost. Its in a post amongst some other things, about halfway down the post: http://elijahmanor.blogspot.com/2011/11/thanksgiving-2011.html
Posted 11 months ago # Report Post -
Carmen
MemberI really love your prayer chair and prayer journal. I actually have a corner for my bible reading time but end up as my dd drawing table. I like how you make this space specially for praying! I would like to spend some time reading your post.
Posted 11 months ago # Report Post -
Thanks, Carmen, I hope it will be an encouragement to you. I saw another idea I've been intending to make but haven't yet is these picture prayer cards I saw here.
http://mustardseeds.typepad.com/my_weblog/2011/09/prayer-cards.html
Posted 11 months ago # Report Post -
NJcountrygal
MemberAnd now... The rest of the story!!!
I originally posted this during a very difficult time of our lives. My husband was a full time minister and he was working a full time job as a machinist. We were very concerned about our daughter, not only in her lack of desire to pray, but also the fact that she had no desire to go to church. We began to be convicted about the need to change some things in our hectic world. Last May, we spent a month in prayer asking God to lead us. God put such a conviction on our hearts that we needed to change the direction of our lives for our daughters sake. So much so, that my husband resigned the church and we moved from NJ to a rural part of TX. We have watched God provide so much in the last several months!!!
This morning I sat there listening from the other room as my husband was doing Bible time with our dd8. I was overwhelmed with amazement at a man who would give up so much for his child. I don't think my husband realizes what an amazing example of God's love he is showing. (Giving up the 99 to go and look for the one little lost sheep). Only eternity will show the full impact of the sacrifices he has made.
My dd is loving where we go to church and has many Christian friends for the first time in her life. She is also praying on her own and with us now. There is something amazingly sweet about hearing your dc talk to God, especially after all the concern and struggle we have gone through. She is even taking it upon herself to invite our neighbors and friends to come to church with us.
It is an awesome thing to realize how much more God loves our dc than even we do!!!
Just felt led to share this with you all!!! Hope each of you have a blessed day!!!!Posted 3 months ago # Report Post
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