SCM Discussion Forum

1. 

   Misty
   Member

   Women of God, I need help..
   Sonya,
   Thank you so much for this book. I have just started reading it and want to let everyone know you should all have it. IT IS A MUST READ!!

   I have a question though. I am in a difficult situation. We are living a my parents, dad works 2nd shift and mom's all over. Training is very tough here being they did not raise me this way and they don't enjoy or like our training/discipline methods. but we needed to stay here while we wait for our home to be built.

   We have 5 boys (9 down to 21mo.) and it's really hard to be consistant and QUIET and I mean absolutely QUIET all the time. I don't want my kids screaming all the time but I feel like I'm on pins and needles most of the time. And I see it coming out in my kids. Also, my 21mo old is now trying to test everything and when I am disciplining he loves to scream (*AHH) but I have to keep him quiet! Can you see where I am at or is this not making sense?

   Has anyone been in this situation or can you offer any suggestions until we move out which will not be until beginning to mid August. I DO NOT want my training that's been there to be lost, nor do I want to cause problems here with my parents, but I can't give in or where will I be in 3 months?? Pulling my hair out :0)

   any thoughts, prayers, suggestions would be great I love this group and I feel so much support here Thanks

   Overwhelmed mom,
   Misty

   Posted 4 years ago # Report Post
2. 

   Blessed with seven
   Member

   Hi Misty,

   I don't know if I am in the position to say anything BUT..I can relate and understand the difficulty. I "feel" the "feelings" you are expressing almost everytime my parents come to visit. They don't like a lot of what we do, don't like our house, how we discipline etc.. I used to get very anxious a week before and then would almost be a bit "depressed" a week after. It was very hard for me having them around when I knew they didn't approve of homeschooling and many, many other things.

   I am not trying to disrespect my parents here..it is just difficult to have someone in your home or be in someone elses home when things are so tense and there are so many differences in beliefs. But..that is a whole other conversation :)

   When you say "absolute QUIET all the time", are you saying that your parents want the house quiet all the time? Just trying to understand...

   I don't have a lot of wisdom on this but I would like to say that "all will NOT be lost" in 3 months!! Try not to despair..it is a temporary situation, a "trial" that you can get through and come out better for the experience. Do not lose heart! Do the best you can and PRAY A LOT...ALL THROUGH THE DAY! You have a lifetime w/ your boys!

   I will be praying for you!

   Kim (another overwhelmed mom)

   Posted 4 years ago # Report Post
3. 

   Mamasong
   Member

   Whenever we have had to stay with family we immediately find a "special place" to go during the day. Our kids need to have the outlet of loud, noisy run and play (in appropriate places at appropriate times, of course)! We have spent hours every day at the local park or an obliging (free) nature area, just pack our lunch and anything else we might need, put the baby in the stroller/backpack and take a walk to our destination. Soaring gas prices make for great "excercise opportunities"! Take along paper/notebooks/clipboards and pencils and you can do CM nature study at the same time.
   This is one of the ways we have stayed loving and sane while staying with family. Hope you can find a way to make it work for your family!
   Mamasong

   Posted 4 years ago # Report Post
4. 

   Misty
   Member

   Thanks your for your words of comfort and prayers. I do mean QUIET!! And yes we are constantly on the go to get away. Which I don't like all the time, but it's better than sitting here.

   I spoke with my hubby last night and he also said it's been really hard for him. We are all just bored. Isn't that terrible>?

   Thanks again, you are right 3 months is not forever.

   Misty

   Posted 4 years ago # Report Post
5. 

   JenKeithley
   Member

   I admire your gumption. As mamasong mentioned earlier, I used to just pack mine up and take them to the park or on a hike. However, it is difficult to be out of the house all day. Something that I use, that might buy you some time, is "quiet bedroom time." I tell them that they all have to be in their bed for an hour (and I actually tell them what time they can get out). They have my permission to play with stuffed animals, legos, color, or read. Whatever they do, they have to do it quietly. If I can hear them from another room, they forfeit all other activities and have to nap. Trust me, one time of this and I don't hear a peep out of my 10 and 11 yr olds. This has taught them not only to play quietly, but they've also learned to take responsibility for finding something to do.

   Also, you've probably already done this, but this might be a great opportunity to sit all the kids down after breakfast and ask for their help in loving grandma and grandpa by being quiet. That way the focus is on loving the grandparents, not you making everyone be quiet.

   You are doing a good thing by trying to love your parents, and your kids... and keep your sanity! God's blessings to you.

   Jen

   Posted 4 years ago # Report Post
6. 

   8smallones
   Member

   Misty,

   With screaming we've had success with covering their mouth (gentle but firm) and whispering to them, or praying with them in a whisper.

   Getting out and lots of exercise is a great idea as Mamasong suggested.

   Plan crockpot meals, try to keep them by your side and helping you in whatever you do. It is just exhausting to be constantly running the house trying to find each current problem. We call this tomato staking, and it is very effective.

   Rebecca ~Mom to 8 under 10!
   Alberta, Canada

   Posted 4 years ago # Report Post

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