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Sleep habits, getting school done, keeping a routine?
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OK, so it has been increasingly apparent (and it helped that God pointed a few people and blogs out to me specifically to kick me in the pants, so to speak) that my kids may not be getting enough sleep. On paper, on my printed schedule, it looks good – enough time for sleep, enough time for bedtime routine and wake-up routines, etc. In practice, something’s not working.
Here’s some background. I have always been a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants sort of person. As I’ve had more kids, I’ve loved having a routine, and then a schedule. But as my oldest is into the preteen stage (she is 10), her sleep schedule has changed. 10pm and she’s still often wide awake. Waking her up at 7am so we can start school at 8am means she’s whiny and cranky all day, every day. Add to that my 4yo who has entered a whiny stage (but I think I am not helping it and rewarding it), my 9yo who thinks most things are an injustice (and go figure, she is my most calm and level-headed and mature kidlet, who is a go-getter and gets her schoolwork and chores done right away – unless she doesn’t “know how to do it,” in which case, most of the time that means she is feeling too lazy to think about it and just wants to be told how and have her hand held, and then she breaks down and whines, as well), and my 6yo who is a drama queen and whines about EVERYTHING – well, you can imagine how my days look and feel.
This fall, the evenings are crazy. Monday is gymnastics for all 3 girls at 6:45pm. That’s the easiest evening of all, and it’s a non-negotiable because they LOVE it and would rather do that than any other activity, and they don’t do many activities. Tuesday & Thursday through the end of this month is soccer for my 2nd oldest at 6pm, but one night ends at 7pm and the other night ends at 7:30pm, so my evenings/bedtime routines are all messed up. Wednesday is Confirmation class for my oldest – at 4:15pm. Crazy early, IMO, especially since my poor hubby who works 45+ min away has to rush home for it (one vehicle). Suffice it to say it messes up supper, which in turn messes up our evenings. Thank goodness there are only 2 nights left of soccer! But all of that combines for different bedtimes every night, but the same wake-up time (7am).
Back to the problem I’m having currently. Because the kids have been so whiny, and through friends and blog posts that are waking me up to the realization, I think I need to do something about my kids’ sleeping habits. A friend mentioned she lets her kids sleep their fill. I like that idea, I really do, but how do you do that in practice? How do you make sure that you are getting all the schoolwork done? And the housework? Etc? I used to do FlyLady, which got me in the habit of routines, which led me to scheduling, but obviously scheduling isn’t working out so great, either. And for routines, at least for me, I need a set time to start it all or I don’t seem to do them – which is basically scheduling? IDK, maybe I am just confused. Or just whined out. 🙂
Help?
So my first thought when I read this was Oh my word, I have a preteen. I don’t know why I haven’t thought of it before reading that your oldest was ten but, mine is ten, too. It sounds like your evenings are full so going to bed earlier may be difficult. Other than church nights, mine are in bed by 8pm so they wake naturally by 7 or 7:30. I definitely agree that they need to sleep as much as their bodies need. Could you wake them up later in the mornings say 8 or 8:30 and start school later? I’m sorry you’ve had to endure so much whining. My youngest,7 is a whiner and it is hard to hear.
If you school in the morning right now and do chores in the p.m., could you switch it up a bit and you could focus on getting the housework done (you could be working even if they are still sleeping) mostly in the morning and then do your schooling in the afternoon? That way things would still be getting done but would allow for them to sleep until later. I am not sure if this would work, but I am sure that with some creative thinking and some switching around you can figure out what will work for your family. Sometimes we need to think outside the box a bit.
@danaholt, I know about the preteen thing! Her “preteen-ness” came on early, at about 8 1/2, so this is a mighty fun time in our household. LOL
Right now, we do school from 8-11:30am, then again from 2-3pm on Mondays and 2-2:20pm T-Th (just how the subjects worked out this year). We do a mandatory quiet time after lunch (at which time the older 2 work on some memory work and other independent smaller items), so that’s why we don’t start up again until 2pm, and then it’s just my oldest. She has the most independent work, so I have her go last in our rotation.
I’ve been doing chores in the afternoon this year because last year we never could get chores *and* breakfast done before school. But now chores aren’t getting done because we feel so rushed between making dinner and getting to the evening’s activity.
I have found that if we don’t do school in the am, we are not motivated to work after quiet time. Which is bad this year when we *have* to because I have 3 I am schooling this year plus a preschooler. I’ve barely worked with my oldest 2 at all this school year (including doing math and narrations, so bad!), and we started the day after Labor Day. I have a 5th grader, a 4th grader, a 1st/2nd grader (long story there), and a 4yo.
Oh, and I LOVE thinking outside the box. Hubby and I are both out-of-the-box thinkers, so creative solutions are welcomed! 🙂
I think one of the best things about homeschooling is that we don’t have to get up and going early in the mornings! I derive a lot of pleasure from sitting at the breakfast table with my jammie-wearing children and watching the 8:35 school busses go by to the school down the street. I dealt with about 5 years of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and still have issues if I don’t get enough sleep, so sleep is a precious non-negotiable in our house! I say let them sleep if they need it.
That will of course take some creative juggling of the schedule. You might find that better rested children means that you actually need less time to do school work and/or chores. Less whining and better focus might make for more efficient use of time. Finishing with soccer should help too.
For the evenings that you do have to be out of the house, perhaps you could use the extra time in the morning before children wake up to get the crockpot going, or do any other prep possible for the evening meal. Or use it to get your own things done so that you can be more focused on monitoring behaviour during chore time. Our chore times takes 4 times longer if I try to get my tasks done while the children are supposed to be doing their tasks. This is a HARD lesson for me to learn, and I am still working on the habit of supervising better during chore time.
If you can’t manage to have consistent bedtimes and wake up times, then develop your routines based on other things. Instead of a ‘between 7 and 8am routine’ have a ‘within one hour of waking up’ routine. Instead of a ‘5-6pm’ routine, have a ‘one hour before we have to leave the house’ routine. Or, have “Monday morning” routine and “Tuesday morning” routine, etc. which may be different depending on what has to happen later in the day. I hope you get the idea.
Are there more independent ‘school’ task that your older kids could do during ‘quiet time’, to cut down on the amount of time needed in the morning?
Just some ideas to start you brainstorming!
Joanne
My kids are still younger than yours, but sleep is a precious and protected thing in our house. I can barely make it to 10pm I can’t see how a 10 year old would be able to.
I’m not sure what time you wake up personally but I know for me getting up at least 1 hour before the kids is a day changer! I can get a load of laundry started, quiet time done, a cup of coffee in me 🙂 and the dishwasher unloaded/ or get dressed (depends on the day)
I just know that the days that I wake with the kids I feel rushed and I can’t get it all done. I start my day behind and because I didnt get quiet time I am grumpy and off all day.
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