Misty, I will pray for you. I've been in your position, too; years ago. Now that my husband wants to go back to our Congregation, his body and mind won't let him. Now, we're in other struggles, some new, some not so new...
My encouragement to you is to follow Peter's Word from the L-rd:...that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
Now, I don't think that means that he should control your spiritual walk; just that you and the children's day-to-day devotion and weekly dedication are more effective, when combined with prayer for him, than a bunch of words. There is time for words and I pray they will be as golden apples (Prov. 25:11,12) when you are given the opportunity to speak to his heart.
My husband's greater desire for the things of G-d and to make it to services as often as physically possible now are a result of mainly my observance and dedication and, most obviously and especially, my son's dedication and words to him and questioning his inconsistency, combined with prayers which move the Holy Spirit; these have caused conviction; though not as much submission to G-d's Ways as I still hope for, but it's better.
I confess I've grown weary of praying for my husband-which is a fault of mine-but please do so daily. G-d has given something so incredibly unique to women regarding their husbands in this area.
This statement may be controversial, but my congregation has many G-dly men who have served as examples to my son and dd where their father has lacked WITHOUT dimishing their father in their sight or taking his place. I've alos never sugar-coated my husband's decisions that went against G-d's Word; though done without disrespecting him. I can honor and disagree and expose truth and still show honor, too.
So my main word of encouragement is to not give up and Chazak (Be Strong). G-d will use your dedication, your Scripture reading at home, your prayers done with the children, in front of him or not, and the resulting love for G-d by your children to keep His Presence in your home. You will grow in dependence and trust upon G-d, too and be spiritually strengthened, though may be weakended in other areas-throw out what is dross, prioritize what is not of primary (i.e. eternal) importance to you and for your family, w/G-d's Help and to the best of your ability.
Ask for those in leadership at your church to pray over you, becasue it is a very draining thing; in additoin to putting him on the prayer list (one that is confidential).
As for the second offering, I'm the same as above. Once I've given my tithe, unless it's a major impressment for an offering, then I just pass the bag along-my gas bill is my offering! We have offerings taken up every Sabbath, but that doesn't mean one has to give every Sabbath. It's not intended to bring about self-condemnation-and that's what it is w/him, self-inflicted.
Hope this didn't sound rambling-I have a headache and it wan't a good day here-but I wanted you to know that I care and understand and will lift ya'll up.
Praying for both of your families,
Rachel
May I recommend some reading of an incredible woman of G-d? Susannah Wesley. Though a Protestant, I think you will be encouraged by her dedication to the L-rd and her family and the type of children (John and Charles Wesley, esp.) that she raised. She gave birth to 19 children and educated them, too. Her marriage wasn't the easiest either.
