SCM Discussion Forum

1. 

   Marcee
   Member

   Our family is at a crossroads with the oldest-my DD who will be in 5th grade. We recently found out that while in CA at her Gparents this summer, she bad mouthed me quite a bit to them-in a way that made them think she wasn't being taken care of. This isn't the only trouble we have-she is very very unkind to her brother (and I mean VERY), disrespectful to me, lies and is incredibly negative-so much so that it's affects things we try to do as a family. Sprinkle some manipulation in there too. The kid has a heart of gold for animals and small children tho. 

   I do realize this is a heart/character issue. I realize that it has to be dealt with (although, I'm not sure how to proceed). However, we are unsure if keeping her home to school is the best thing at this point. This problem isn't going to change overnight. And that means it has the potenital to keep adding strain to our days. I'll be honest-doing school with her is almost unbearable some days. 

   My heart says keeping her home and fixing this can be done. My head says it's better for the health of our family for her to go to school (it would be a private Christian school) and diligently work on the issue. My DH is heavily leaning towards her being sent to school. 

   I love homeschooling and I LOVE being with my kids. But, I have to be a mom to my son and a wife to my husband-how can I be the best at these things when my emotional and mental being is drained by one child? 

   Posted 9 months ago # Report Post
2. 

   Sue
   Member

   I will definitely pray for you. My first reaction is that, while sending her to school might give your son and you a "breather" during the school day, it will also give you that much less time each day to work on the problem. Plus, you have no control, really, over the kinds of kids she interacts with while there. Even Christian schools have kids with worldly and/or disrespectful attitudes.

   I think before making the decision to send her off to school, I would lay out a plan to address this and put a timeframe on working toward a specific goal (or a few small goals). I'm trying to think of a few books to recommend that are specific to your needs, but I'll have to think about that and come back with them later. Perhaps Raising Godly Tomatoes? Or that book by Kevin Leman, Have a New Kid by Friday? (Don't let the "by Friday" part fool you....it's really not a quick fix; you have to read the book first to understand what he's asking you to do, and it requires great consistency.)

   I'm sure others will chime in with ideas. You're not alone. I have a 14yo who has acquired some very disrespectful and negative behaviors over the past couple of months.  

   Posted 9 months ago # Report Post
3. 

   Marcee
   Member

   Thank you Sue♥

   I agree with your POV. 

   "sending her to school might give your son and you a "breather" during the school day, it will also give you that much less time each day to work on the problem. Plus, you have no control, really, over the kinds of kids she interacts with while there. Even Christian schools have kids with worldly and/or disrespectful attitudes."

   I will look into the books you mentioned. It's so good to know I'm not alone. 

   
   

   Posted 9 months ago # Report Post
4. 

   jeaninpa
   Member

   I'm sorry Marcee. That is difficult.  The Raising Godly Tomatoes book is good.

    

    

   Posted 9 months ago # Report Post
5. 

   JSpring
   Member

   I am so sorry. I agree with Sue about school. I will be praying for you to have patience and great insight...as well as conviction for your daughter and to protect your other children as well. Blessings and peace to you during this difficult time.

   Posted 9 months ago # Report Post

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