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I could really use some help.
- This topic has 9 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 10 months ago by
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Hi,
My name is Rebecca. I have been homeschooling my son since Kindergarten. He started 7th grade today. He will turn 12 in June. For over a year now my son really dislikes school. He disliked the fist day today. He is not rude about it but just takes any opportunity to get out of school and do somethig else. I have tried to change things to make him happy but nothing seems to help. It’s frusrating for me beacuse I want more than anything for him to enjoy school.
Do you have any suggestions on what I could do diffreantly that would make homeschooling an enjoyable experience for both of us? I know its hard work but in my heart I feel it schould also be an enjoyable experice for both of us.
Thank you for your time.
I know the feeling! I agree, learning should be an enjoyable experience for all involved.
Your post is a little vague so I’m not exactly sure how to answer. Is the work too easy? Too hard? Is he burned out on the teaching approach/method? Is he being lazy? (My 11yo son is going through a lazy phase which is why I ask.) What exactly does he dislike? Is it only a particular subject or is it everything? Does he have a hard time focusing or sitting still or is the work simply not capturing his interest?
I haven’t been homeschooling as long as you, but we sometimes have seasons where my son is very bored. Have you considered starting with what interests him and what he’s excited about and finding a way to turn that into meeting “school” requirements? I try to count things as “school” that my son enjoys as much as I can.
However, I also have to explain to my son that he is not going to like everything in school. But he still has to learn them. I had to explain to him that learning certain material is actually required by law and that if he doesn’t want to learn it at home with his family then he will have to go to a school building where he will be required to do WAY more work than he can possibly imagine and the teachers won’t be nearly as fun or as nice as me.
I don’t know if that really answers your question but I hope you get some clarity and direction!
Blessings,
Leah
Honestly I don’t know. I just know his heart is not into school. It’s just do what I have to because my mom makes me do it. It’s like he is on another plaent or something.
Just a thought..
could it be hormonal?? My ds14 went through a “zoning out” stage when he was going through many changes and he just needed space, an opportunity to talk when he was ready, more sleep, direct expectations from me (a list, even if it’s not super fun), time to sort out what was going on when he really didn’t know his ownself how to explain it…
Like I said, just a thought. Maybe you all need some sort of break??
Agreeing with the suggestions from the other ladies. Also wondering if you’ve given him the responsibility of helping you choose a couple of “electives” that he will be able to do once his other work is finished. Sometimes a bit of motivation like that helps.
How much time does he spend watching TV or playing video games? My 13 and 12 yr-olds get super moody when they’ve been getting a lot of screen time…and when school cuts into that.
I just sat mine down and interviewed them on Sunday. Asked them all sorts of questions about what they liked, what they didn’t, what they thought they might want to do for a career, what things they’d like to learn, what talents/skills they’d like to develop and so on. It took a while for them to actually talk but I learned a lot and will now have to change a few things. For example, I had NO idea my 12-yr-old wanted to be a writer. He always baulked at writing stuff. In our ‘interview’ he asked for spelling lessons and help editing his work and learning more grammar.
Yes, boys this age need a lot of sleep. And healthy food. When mine get too much sugar or junk food they get harder to deal with. They also need to feel responsible for something be it school or chores or what have you. My boys hate mowing the lawn and doing laundry but they look so proud when they’re done. They need to feel needed and that they contribute to the family.
Agreeing with crazy4boys. I always talk with my teen (and my pre-teen) to get his input regarding his curric., his plans, schedule, etc. I don’t let him make ALL of the decisions, but I always include him when making choices.
Something is wrong with me. There is this part of me that does not want to home school at all maybe because there is no joy in the school process. I don’t want to waste the little time we have together spending it on tedious boring school work. It’s just a list of things that must be done.
I know the time I have with my son is limited. Before you know it he will be grown and gone. My mom abandoned me when I was a young girl. So spending time homeschooling my son is so important to me but I want to enjoy the experience.
I am frightened…(crying)…What do I do?
I think what I would do is check the laws in your state to see if there is anything required specifically. Then present to your son that list, “The law says we have to cover these areas this year. So what do you want to do for each one?” How does he learn best? Reading, listening, doing things hands on, etc? My oldest is going into 7th and she’s a reader. Her next sibling down is a doer, he needs to touch and move things to learn best. THe third down needs to SEE things, pictures and visuals are essential in a book or curriculum to keep her mind engaged. Whereas they are a distraction for my oldest. So when he decides he wants 7th grade history to be about the Civil War time period you present doable options centered around reading, or watching/discussing (think documentaries), or building/doing.
Okay, sorry, I had to get food before the minions rebelled, I’m back now.
The next thing I would do is give him specifics. Say, school will be done when you’ve done XYZ each day. I give my kids assignment sheets and they can do work in any order (giving them choice) but it all must be done before they are free for the day. Also giving him an overview of XYZ must be done to finish math class for the year, or history for the year, can motivate him. If he knows you have a list of 6 chapter books he needs to read and tell you about for history this year he may decide to work diligently through them in the first half of the year and be done with history for a few months.
What are his goals/interests? How can he work toward those in some academic way? For example my oldest wants to learn about running a small business as an animal breeder. So we’re finding math options related to businesses, she’ll be finding a few breeders to interview, etc. She wants to write a book too so this year is her year to act like a ‘real writer’. I will give very very few (if any) writing assignments. Instead she is expected to be writing often and bringing her work to me to share/expand/revise/edit/brainstorm. I hope to find a few others we can include as a small writer’s group a few times during the year to share works in progress.
One last thing, and it may seem unrelated but it’s not. Relationship is more important than academics. As in, YOUR relationship with your son matters more than what school work he does in 7th grade. Read The Five Love Languages (either the original, the one for children, or the one for teens) and start speaking his language. Pour more time into your relationship than into battles over school work.
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