Having issues with getting it all done

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  • deltagal
    Member

    I am homeschooling 4 ages 13, 11, 9, 6 with a baby in tow.  And I simply don’t have time to work with everyone.  Math, dictation, and grammar and phonics instruction with the appropriate children take me all morning.  By the afternoon my oldest is still in need of me to review and check his work.  The children have chores and a great work ethic, but I have no time to take care of what needs to be taken care of – grocery shopping, cleaning, thinking, cooking, etc.  My 2 oldest are getting further and further behind in their math, because they need more help than I seem to have time to give.  I’m a bit frustrated by all of this and at a loss as to what to do. 

    Wendy
    Participant

    Hello, I home educate a 14, 9, 4, and 3 year old.  I was having problems fitting everything in as well. Actually I still have difficulties in this area and am thankful for you to begin the discussion.  Here is what currently helps. 

    In the morning, after “morning responsibilities” are taken care of (by about 9:00) my 14 and 9 yr. old study bible math and piano independently.  On my schedule it lists me as “facilitator” as I am available and listening and ready to correct guide or help but it is their responsibility to move forward in those lessons.  (I’ve found the program Teaching Texts to be helpful for grades 3 and higher.  It teaches well and this program, as well as MATH U SEE, helps the children get through a lesson independently with occasional guidance and encouragement from me.  I must add: my husband helps tutor my older son in Algebra, thank you God.) 

    My nine year old and I try to be finished with our morning list done by 10.  Then we sit down for a what I would call a “formal” English lesson including copy work, grammar instruction, etc.  This is a fairly short lesson that just jump starts him into English and he then continues working independently and I try to check his work during this time so I don’t have it to do later. This may also be a good time to check math work. (My older son is still working on math or bible or piano and may begin his science or writing on a good day.) 

    We take a fairly long break during lunch.  Out door time and/or “free time” which I limit to “educational activities”…Legos, or they catch up on anything they have missed in the morning.  We have lunch, they have clean up chores, (I try to slip in a preschool lesson before lunch for the preschoolers.)  After lunch, at 1:30, it is quiet reading time in our house.  I put the younger ones down for their sacred nap time and when they are asleep, we gather for our “group studies”: Science (Apologia), History, Geography, read alouds.  My older son also does an Aplologia Science course with a CD Rom.  He takes time some afternoons to move forward on a *writing project. 

    *I must add, that I haven’t pushed writing AT ALL… I have only pushed myself to listen to everything my son has to say about anything over the last several years.  I learned from the CM style that this is the beginning of writing.  IT WORKED!  I gave him an official writing assignment and he can’t wait for his writing time.  He is 14.  It took a lot of faith and patience and prayer for this to evolve…it did…he loves writing and researching something he is interested in…thank you Charlotte.

     

    I try very hard to be done with schooling by 4. At dinner (on a good day) we share with Dad or each other what we learned in Science History or Bible (CM  narration). 

    I must add that I have been harder on myself in the area of scheduling and self discipline. I used to use a list, now I put the “to-do” list right into a time slot on a schedule for my self.  It actually has given me more free time. (A friend, mother of 9 and a home educator, runs a very tight ship.  It challenged me!  I have been studying self discipline this year (my own “character training”)and it is rubbing off on my family. 

    On a side note, I grocery shop with out the children on Thursday mornings at 7 before my husband goes to work.  I try to only go once a week.  2 Fridays a month or so we run errands, but “school” is always in session isn’t it?

    I look forward to hearing other tips on this topic.  The 2 books I’ve been devouring are “Disciplines of the Beautiful Woman” by Anne Ortlund, and “The Disciplined Life” by Richard S. Taylor.  Both are full of bible references, as the Word of God is our greatest resource. 

     

    Rachel White
    Participant

    I don’t have 4 children ‘schooling”, but I know there are some basic principles that I know multiple children families do. I have chronic health issues, my husband’s health isn’t good at all and I have a home, garden,  chickens to run. Specifically, the older helping the younger; I only have 2, but my son helps his younger sister in Hebrew and math. Also, I chose a math program for my son that is independant driven and for the most part, self-teaching (and cheap). For my dd, she uses Teaching Textbooks just this past year because that’s an area she struggles in; I couldn’t stand over her and guide her through every problem as she needed so I ‘hired’ that part out to the computer program!

    I know some fo the other mom’s will more of help than I am with more practical experience with big families, but perhaps a review of whether your math program is too teacher intensive or the style of program isn’t working for the particular children (like spiral or mastery based, too many/not enough manipulatives, whatever). I’m a big independant learner promotor. With the dictation, can you combine the children together at one time to do all three? For example, if you’re using SP.W. for dictation, then one book is for 2 of yours, so you could give the reading for the 2 that have the same sentence/paragraph and then after your finished, give then other one theirs. I only have a 9 yr. old who does the actual dictation 1x a week (Fri.), but on MOn., he uses it for copywork and studies it all week; that doesn’t require me. I don’t check his math till the evening; he’s starting now to want to check it himself, so perhaps for your oldest, he may be able to start correcting his own work or if not his own, his younger siblings math? It would reinforce his own knowledge. Also, the top three could take turns reading to the younger and talternate taking your place sometimes to do one of the read alouds(that doesns’t require narration).

    Your 6 yr. old doesn’t need grammar and what phonics there is shouldn’t be longer than 10 min. due to age. I do phonics with my 2 (age 9 nd 10) at the same time. Since I can’t see your schedule, I can’t see where you may be able to streamline, combine and get the older to help the younger. Is your husband able to help with the math when he gets home? I know some that will do that, esp. since you have a new baby, it would be a great service to you; my husband’s health prohibits his consistant help so I don’t depend on him, but yours may be able to help you if you asked and expressed your frustration. Sometimes, men just need to be told we’re overwhlemed-they just don’t seem to know unless we come right out and say it and ask for help!Cry

    Just throwing out some ideas. I understand your frustration, as even with my 2, I feel the way you do many days. I hope you work out a schedule that works with your new family dynamics. Things have to change with the arrival of a new little one; or any other family situation where things must adjust according for the family and it also requires new things of other members of the family that will be used to build independance and character. I look forward to other’s chiming in to assist you!

    Rachel

    MamaWebb
    Participant

    AMEN, AMEN, AMEN!!! I have a almost 13 yo dd, a 8.5 yo son, a 6 yo dd, and two whirling dervishes of sons aged 3 and 2. We never seem to get through everything this year.  I used to do Konos unit studies, so we rarely studied history and science at the same time.  Writing tended to be a little more hit or miss, just did what the writing was for the Konos unit, and I wasn’t always great about follow through.  

    This year, we have moved into a more hard core CM style, and I haven’t yet been able to do art appreciation, composer study, handicrafts, and we haven’t really done geography (we did a lot of US geography for the last two years, so the kids are a bit fried).  Literature seems to fall by the wayside as we have so much to get through and read in history – both together and independently; we use truthquest this year, and really like it.  we are just struggling to narrow down and pick and choose better. i want to do every unit!  We are using sequential spelling and honestly, though it’s working well for my son and is a good review for my daughter, we’re about 10 lessons behind where we should be.  we are on track with what we call “morning school” – math (LOF for my daughter and Math Mammoth for my son and MUS for my kindergardener), Queen’s Language LEssons for all 3 kids, Queen’s Bible studies for the older two, and cursive for all three.  My 6yo dd does alpha phonics for early reading and we try to do some phonics readers too.  i also try to fit in a bit of family bible study, but it doesn’t always get done.  we’ve only managed nature study 3 times, and the science curriculum we have is ok, but no one likes it as much as i thought we would, so we are behind in that significantly – we’ve been using the God’s Design series from Answers in Genesis.  we have a great writing program that we like, Write With the Best, very CM friendly, but we just don’t always have time!  Precious toddlers are sweet and wonderful blessings, but, wheww-eeee they make school tough.  and i’ve tried ALL the suggestions – older kids playing with them in turn, giving them their own special basket of stuff, having them color nearby to us, nothing really lasts.  they don’t cause as much trouble as they used to slink off and do, but they tend to be really really loud and a huge distraction, which causes multiple interruptions.  my 8.5ds is highly highly distractable, such as would probably be labeled ADHD-inattentive type (used to be called ADD), if he were in school (my DH is classic ADD.  super brilliant, but school was near painful for him.  he would’ve been a perfect homeschool candidate!).  so that is tough.  i just struggle to get myself and my kids up and running in the morning, so that we get an early enough start.  and then we wind up schooling all darn day until it’s time for dinner prep.  plus twice a week, we have to be done by 2:30 or 3 b/c my daughters have dance class.  my oldest dances 2x’s per week (she’s on pointe and needs the strengthening, and then one of the days my little girl dances in her regular class.  my oldest daughter is also the teacher’s helper in the two little-people classes that our teacher teaches. so thursday night is an all day event nearly.  we are gone from 2:30 until 9:30 or 10.  oh and also, our dance is back where we moved from a year ago, and it’s a 45min drive.)

     ok.  so this is really just a vent.  there are too many of them, too few of me, and not enough midday hours.  i’m getting fried b/c i really need about 20-30 minutes to just decompress and breathe before i go into the night time prep stuff.  and it never happens.  i go to my room, where hubby happens to work from home, and within 5 minutes all the kids drift upstairs to see what i’m doing! anyway, i’ve used sonya’s planning book, and it’s great.  but i j ust don’t manage to get to it all, and don’t know how to fit it all in!  our fridays, which i want to be a sort of catch up and fine arts/fun day are nearly a wash b/c of the previous busy day and late night.  sigh.  please pray for me!  i will continue lifting all of this up to our GREAT SAVIOR, b/c He is faithful!  and His mercies are new every morning!

    Blessings, 

    Amy

    deltagal
    Member

    Oh, thank you all for your thoughts. I’m in a bit of a dash this a.m. between football games (all 3 boys play)!  But I needed to come home and feed the baby (and the momma).  I’ll post my schedule later today and perhaps you can offer insight.  Until then.  God bless and thank you.

    Wendy
    Participant

    Amy, I had a “season” of life like you are having.  We took this year off to stay home and not run too much.  Next year we are back to running around a bit.  I wanted to suggest reading in the car, unless any of your children get car sick.  You can also get books on c.d.  We did some school work in the car the last 2 years because of our running around for the older ones. 

    Don’t be so hard on yourself.  Moving forward in every subject is the goal and nurturing the love of learning.  I think you are doing a great job!  I think it is wonderful that you are finding what works well for each child.

    I find that my toddler’s did well when I gave them my attention: eye contact, watching them play, helping them with their little chores or having them help me with dishes and folding and other things I had to do.  When I tried to be a “teacher” to the older kids and put my toddlers away for a while with a toy, it never worked.  And to be honest, I’m glad.  I switched gears and became more of a “facilitator” of the older kid’s lessons and I give a bit more attention to my younger ones…still not enough…but my habit is getting better…I’m still learning myself how to manage it all, balance it all, and …speaking of…I have a needy toddler this second…signing off.

     

     

    art
    Participant

    I’m in a little bit of a similar situation, but one of my four has graduated. He learned the hard way a few years ago to work independently, and it is amazing how hard he works in college. He’d be sunk if he hadn’t learned that in high school–and it was really because I didn’t have time or energy to teach him. So I got him really good materials, and off he went! I know your oldest might be a year or two from that stage though.

    My other three are 12, 9 and 8. I have the 9 and 8 doing the same math together while the 12 is doing hers. It’s a bit chaotic, but it gets done eventually. We read everything together. Everything. My 12 yr old gets more out of it than my 8, but I couldn’t possibly separate them timewise. We use Apologia elementary science so we can do that together too. I give them all the same writing assignments, and obviously I get varying outcomes. I also don’t have them in any sports or anything so I can shop for food on Saturday morning. We go to church one night a week for youth activities which they love, but that only lifts us and doesn’t stress us out.

    My youngest is reading fluently now, so that’s a little relief you’ll have before you know it with your youngest. I don’t know if you teach grammar to them separately, but if so maybe that could be combined. I do it all together, and sometimes I mention a little something more to my 12 yr old. But generally, I talk about punctuation and such when we go over their writing–briefly, and after I read to them I give them sentences from the book and ask for nouns, verbs, etc.

    That’s all they really need now, and it sets the stage for later. When my oldest was young, we used a lot of workbooks and texts, and we spent 3 years learning adjectives. I’ve waited with my 12 yr old. So I say “adjectives describe nouns” and give some examples–just like magic, she understands because she was ready to understand.

    Also, we try to cook ahead and freeze things, so fewer hours a week are taken up by cooking. I have names on dishes and the kids are to wash theirs when they are finished–and never touch anyone else’s, so it isn’t such a mess after a meal. 

    It’s still total chaos here and we are way behind where I want to be too, but I thought I’d share what has made some small difference for us.

    Good luck!

     

    deltagal
    Member

    I’m back…again.  2 football games won, one lost, another round of play-offs and we’re all having fun! Tonight it’s time for a fire in the fireplace, a movie (with an extra hour to boot) and a quiche with veggies on the side that I’ll whip up shortly.  Let me back track a bit, all my children are making fabulous progress in their “academic” work.  Perhaps, the most fruitful “term”, yet.   The baby is wonderful and the children are fabulous with her.  BUT…(you knew that was coming, didn’t you) my oldest 2  – the 13 and 11 yo have higher expectations of themselves now than they used to.   They were both late bloomers and now want to be “on track.”   They want to be further along and I simply don’t have anymore time to give them.  They work quite well independently, but they both need help with grammar, math and written narrations.   (sometimes I have them work with one another on dication, but that tends to prolong it)  We’ve used a variety of math curricula and regardless of the format…it still requires a lot of me – daily if they are going to keep moving along.  I’m slowly coming to the realization that I in truth (personally) have about 4 hours a day maximum that I can give to acadmic work – which I think is alot!  (My husband does help from time to time, but is not able to offer any consistency).  of my 4 hours – !/2 hour of that is after breakfast with Bible study, scripture memory, hymn, and folk song. and nature readings or misisonary stories and spanish phrases.   Another 1/2 hour is after lunch for a family read-aloud.  And the other 3 are between 9:30 and 12:30, which I divvy up among the 4.  What tends to happen is the 6 yo gets 45 minutes (phonics, math, a fun read aloud, penmanship and a hands-on science or history activity), the 9 yo 60 minutes (most of which is math and piano and dictation), the 11 yo 60 minutes (math, dictation, grammar and written narration) , and the 13 yo gets 15 minutes (if he’s lucky).  Wednesdays we take a break from the academic routine and do nature study, picture study, art projects, drawing lessons and composer study.  That piece is working VERY well!  Still pondering…

    Rachel White
    Participant

    How about finding a way to combine dictation time, grammar and written narration together with the 11, 9 nd 13 yr. olds? Since I don’t know what you’re using, I don’t know how to suggest that it be done, but it probably could be. Also, do you do a history and science craft daily? Perhaps that could be looked at to find things for the 6 yr. old to do independently in that area as well; either not a daily craft or if daily, making some days not so teacher intensive. Hands-on science and history that he can do alone or with one of the others assisting. Adjusting in these areas may open up more time to attend to math.

    From a personal perspective on a child and their hands-on activities; I’ve had two major neck surgeries with serious neurological side effects, not counting my husband’s problems (inc. his own back surgery), over the past 4 years. My son is big into making things and doing experiments; early on (from age 6, actually which was my 1 st surgery) he learned he couldn’t depend upon me to be there, standing with him or guiding him through every time he wanted to do one (which was/is daily), so he learned to do them on his own, with just occasional help from me at my convenience, not his; which in turn caused him to try harder if he didn’t want to wait!

    Hope that made sense the way I said it. Regarding the home duties; do you go to all the practices and games for the boys? If it were me and sports were important (which to me they aren’t), I would go occasionally or only the games, but pretty much leave most of that to my husband, whenever possible; leaving me time at home or at the grocery store. Being alone (actually with the baby) would refresh you and give you that extra time.

    Rachel

    Tristan
    Participant

    Hmm, every family is different, so here’s my 2 cents.  First, for background, I am having baby #6 any day now literally, and my other five children are ages 9 and younger.  It’s a little busy at my house…LOL!

    First, combine children for as much as possible.  The history/science/read aloud topics can all be the same, just require more understanding and output from the older child than each younger one. 

    Other than a lesson one day a week for math, my kids are independent in their practice the rest of the week, unless they do not understand the lesson.  Piano is the same, lesson on one day, practice indepedently the other days. 

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