SCM Discussion Forum

1. 

   morgrace
   Member

   I'll be thinning out my children's toys (and lots of other things in the house) for a garage sale I am doing at a realtives house in a month. It would be very easy for me to go thru all the kids toys myself, but they are old enough now to remember and ask where things are. My oldest in particular seems get easily attached to things, even the junky stuff. So, for those of you who have done this - did you get your children involved? How did you approach it and what did you say?? We have way too much stuff for the size of our house and I am the only one who picks up and puts anything away. It's crazy and got to stop!

   Unfortunaly, yesterday a grandparent dropped off bags of garage sale toys. I've already explained to extended family that we don't want/need any more STUFF, but in this case it falls on deaf ears. Then to my children I look like "big bad mommy" and the grandparent is so "wonderful" because they give them toys. I wanted to sit down and cry - actually I did after they went to bed. 

   Posted 1 year ago # Report Post
2. 

   LindseyD.
   Member

   We clean out a couple times a year, and in fact, I just finished my children's toys and clothes last week! One of my children is very willing to part with old/unused/junky toys; the other one can't seem to learn the real definition of "special", because everything to him is "special". I was amazed that he wasn't willing to part with a single stuffed animal, but he willingly decided he no longer needed his HUGE set of Lincoln Logs! LOL

   While I used to get rid of things without their help, like you, I had to involve them because they are smart enough to figure out when something goes missing. Also, I wanted them to understand the importance of cleaning out the old, not necessarily to make room for the new, but simply because it makes it easier on them and on me to have less. Less to organize, less to store, less to clean up. That's the approach I used with my hesitant child this time. I explained that the more stuff he has, the more difficult it is for him to keep his room cleaned, keep those toys organized, and that he can't possibly play with all of it in a day or even a week. That helped some, when he saw that he could benefit from purging a few things.

   Last year, our clean out was non-negotiable because a family was moving into our home to live temporarily with us, and we HAD to make room for them. Actually, that was probably our easiest clean out emotionally, because our coming guests gave the children something to look forward to.

   I don't know how to handle well-meaning grandparents who always have stuff to drop off for the kids. We have one of those too...sigh. I often feel like the Big, Bad Wolf, especially when my kids give me those eyes, like I'm the meanest person in the world. But, we do have standards for what we allow in our home, and the kids understand those too. Our children know what twaddle is, so they don't make a big deal when we donate twaddly books or toys to Goodwill. One thing I do for birthdays and Christmas is to send a group e-mail to both sets of grandparents with a list of items that would make a good gift. In fact, for ds's birthday in February, I mentioned that ds wasn't even asking for toys for his bday (he really wasn't) and that Christmas had been just six weeks before. So, I typed out a list of good, living books as suggested gifts for him; and to my surprise, we received almost every book on that list and NOTHING else! They actually listened this year!

   After last week's clean out, here's what we're down to (not that this is what you should have...just a reference point for where I'm coming from).

   Ds8:

   • one large tub of Legos, in one of those under-the-bed plastic tubs
   • 2 sets Playmobile (stored in a basket under his bed)
   • a set of Western cowboy toys (stored in a basket under his bed)
   • Matchbox cars and small, misc. toys (stored in a third basket under his bed)
   • a large semi-truck and large bulldozer, kept in the closet
   • 10-12 stuffed animals, some kept on his bed, some kept in the closet on a shelf
   • dress-up clothes, kept in a dresser drawer
   • small plastic canister of dinosaurs, kept in his closet

   Dd7

   • dress-up clothes, hung in a wardrobe
   • a play cash register and felt food, kept in wardrobe drawer
   • 20 peg people, kept in wardrobe drawer
   • play coffee pot, toaster, and mixer, kept on a shelf in her wardrobe
   • one set Playmobile, stored in a cute bucket under her bed
   • one doll, doll bed, and baby blankets, kept under her bed
   • play horses and misc. toys, kept in a matching bucket under the bed
   • 10-12 stuffed animals, kept on a shelf in the closet and some on her bed

   Typing that out was actually helpful for me because I see that it's not that much, and I'm very comfortable with where we're at. Two or three years ago, we probably had twice that amount of toys, and I was constantly organizing and reorganizing them!

   I hope you reach your goals and without too many tears ,

   Lindsey

   Posted 1 year ago # Report Post
3. 

   ibkim2
   Member

   Every few months, I go through and put all the misc. toys or DVD's that I know dc can easily live without in a big box in the garage.  I leave the box stored in the garage for a few months, pulling one or two things out if dc ask for certain toys more than a couple of times.  When consignment time comes around, everything else from the box gets either consigned or given away.  I used to only be able to do this successfully with them out of the house.  I've noticed recently they are maturing enough to participate in this event (just turned 4 &6).  

   Our dc have a loving family, but with divorces on both sides they get lots of separate gifts from each individual grandparent, their aunts,  & great aunts.  My 4yo dd has 3 Cinderella barbies (each from a separate family member) and she doesn't want to part with any of them  <<<<sigh>>>>.  It is hard for me to tell our well meaning family what to buy for dc unless they ask, but if they do ask I keep a list prepared.   Is it bad to have a heart thinking, "I wish you called and asked about 100+ matchbox cars in our son's room before you bought him another 20?"  I am thankful for our family's love for our dc, they just don't understand why we want to them to have less stuff.  

   Posted 1 year ago # Report Post
4. 

   roseannvj
   Member

   Our easiest purging was done when we had to move cross country.  My kids were 2mo, 2y/o, and 3y/o at the time.  I told them for every one stuffed animal they wanted to take to our new home, they had to put 2 in the "give box".  And for every one toy they wanted to keep they had to choose 1 to give.  At that young age, they did a great job and I kept doing this regularly to keep them in the habit.  Now every month or two I simply tell them to choose 5 - 10 items they would like to give and they do fairly well.  My now 3y/o who was 2mo when we moved hasn't quite caught on to the "fun" yet though.  She does think she needs to keep everything!

   Another tactic I've used when toys were way out of control was to set out what containers I was willing to use for toy storage and tell the kids they can only keep what they can fit into the container and still close on their own.

   All our kids' birthdays are in the summer.  Last summer I wrote a letter to all our family and friends who enjoy buying the kids gifts.  I explained that they already had an ample amount of things to play with and that our family wanted to build memories with the kids not accumulate possessions.  I asked if they would consider instead of sending a gift, if they would send a heartfelt note with a picture of themselves in it for us to put in a special birthday scrapbook for each child.  And then also noted if they really felt the REALLY wanted to spend money on our child if they would consider sending a check that we could put towards gymnastics or other sports or muesum admission fees or other family activities that would build experiences and memories rather than accumulate stuff.  

   Another Christmas we asked people to contribute towards a family membership to the National Aquarium.  That year was SO much fun! Since there weren' many gifts, under the tree we blew up balloons to have under the tree and the kids had so much fun playing with them all day they didn't even notice a lack of presents to unwrap.

    Good luck!

   Posted 1 year ago # Report Post
5. 

   ibkim2
   Member

   P.S. One thought to get your dc excited about this is to offer them a percentage of the money made from the toys that get sold.  Then allow them to do something special with the money (be it go out for a treat, make a charity donation, rent a movie, etc...)  Or in the future if you donate several toys to goodwill, allow them to buy one new-to-them toy at goodwill to replace the several given away.  I consign a boxful toys twice a year.   Then when I shop at the sale, I pick them each out one toy to buy...they quickly forget about the toys I sold when I bring the new-to-them toy home.  

    

   Posted 1 year ago # Report Post
6. 

   Tristan
   Member

   We've found having a finite space to hold toys helps when going through them. For example, each child is given 1 small tub (remember, I have 7 children under 11 in a 3 bedroom house). They can put any toys they wish to keep in their tub so long as the lid closes. They can keep X number of stuffed animals (you determine a reasonable number). Then we have a few "sets" of toys we keep in tubs (lego, duplo, toy dishes/food). That's it. I've found having a tub with a lid is key, they can fill it up as we're going through things but then if it's too full they have to take out and trade until they have what they can't live without.

   Some of my children have a harder time letting go than others, but if you're consistent and kind they'll get through it. And in a few weeks they'll feel better about having an orderly space. One exception to this might be a child with autism who fixates on specific things. They might have a much harder time letting go and won't move on. You know your children best. I think we often underestimate our children's abilities to move on and grow though.

   Good luck!

   Posted 1 year ago # Report Post
7. 

   LindseyD.
   Member

   One thing I forgot to mention about our recent clean out: I did ask our children if they wanted to choose some toys to give away to younger friends. We are friends with two families whose children are much younger than ours, and these families usually receive our hand-me-down clothes as well. For example, ds8 had four footballs. One was a recent birthday gift, so I knew it couldn't be thrown out; and another is the football he and Daddy play with the most. Of the four footballs, I asked him if he'd like to choose one to give to Paul (a 3yo friend). I then said that he and Paul could play with that football together next time we were at their house. It was much easier for ds to part with one football, knowing that a.) he'll probably get to play with it again and b.) it was going to someone who would think it was special, rather than to the garbage can. We used this same tactic, with dd7 (who is much more willing to give up her things), and she gave away her last Barbie (thank God!), some dress-up clothes (for her 5yo friend), and even a stuffed animal.

   So maybe if you know of families in your church who could use some nice toys (we don't ever give away the junk/broken toys), your children will have an easier time parting with them, knowing that they're going to a good home. Just something I forgot to add.

   Posted 1 year ago # Report Post
8. 

   missceegee
   Member

   It must be that time of year. I'm doing this right now as I type. I just needed a break and decided to check the forum.

   I could completely be a minimalist, except for books. One can never have too many books. 

   Posted 1 year ago # Report Post
9. 

   LindseyD.
   Member

   @Christie, Minimalism is where we're headed, I think. I have a hard time parting with books, but nothing else! In addition to going through kids' closets, drawers, and toys last week, hubby and I also went through our closets. We each ended up with about half of what we started with. And we do this once a year...but never have we been so extreme! It is so refreshing to walk into our closet now and see...gasp...rods that are entirely empty!

   Posted 1 year ago # Report Post
10. 

    4myboys
    Member

    I have the same issue here.  Both boys have way too much stuff and we are in desperate need to go through and get rid of TONS of stuff.  To be honest we've gotten rid of VERY little since we moved in 9 years ago.  Toys they out grow get stuck in the storage room, but now it's too full.  We keep meaning to have a garage sale, but somehow the season comes and goes and we are nowhere near it.  I have decided that this is the year!  In fact I am hoping the next weekend my dh has off we can at least have one sale.  My strategy is that all money from the yard sale will go towards a family vacation.  They are hoping to go to Disney World again next year.  This sounds like a good incentive to me!

     

    Posted 1 year ago # Report Post
11. 

    Katrina in AK
    Member

    I've been pondering how to go about this, too.  Just finished birthdays for my DS6 and DS4, and it's time for reorganization and purging. 

    I'm all about surreptitiously making junk go away - Happy Meal toys, etc.  but have been wanting the boys to be more involved in getting rid of excess and carefully storing and caring for the remaining stuff.  Thank you to everyone for all of these great ideas.

    Katrina

    Posted 1 year ago # Report Post
12. 

    LindseyD.
    Member

    @4myboys, We had 2 garage sales in one year and made about $600. They were very much worth our time and effort. One caution: we had stuff leftover after both sales, and while it can be tempting to put the leftovers back in storage to "save for the next sale", don't give in! Get rid of all of it as soon as your sale is over. Don't look at your leftovers as a loss of profit, but as a gain of space and sanity. After all, you were going to sell it anyway, so load it up in your car, and take it to Goodwill. That's my 2 cents about garage sales!

    @Katrina, the one solution to stop Happy Meal toys from coming into your home is don't order Happy Meals! hahaha! Seriously, our kids have had 1 Happy Meal in their lives (and that was with grandparents, we have never been to McD's as a family), and I was so annoyed about the toy. Although fast food is a big no-no in our house, sometimes it is unavoidable. I like that at Chick-Fil-A, the kids can trade their toy for a free ice cream. That's incentive for both of mine to leave the toy at the restaurant because we never have ice cream. Granted, Chick-Fil-A has MSG in their breading, but that's another post...sigh.

    Posted 1 year ago # Report Post
13. 

    morgrace
    Member

    All I can say is....THANK YOU!!!!

    My dh is a self-proclaimed packrat - okay, I may have said it once or twice myself. The quantity of kids toys and that they don't pick up after themselves is driving HIM nuts. I really don't know how to approach the gift-giving grandparent either, I've tried a variety of approaches in the past with limited success. It's so frustrating to have an adult that ignores what you say and does whatever they want anyway. My children have actually asked "What did you bring me?" or something along those lines more than once and I thought for sure that would have stopped the flow of toys. Nope! Amazing isn't it? I cannot understand why someone would not be horrified by their grandchild asking them that question. At least most of our other family members understand or are willing to respect our wishes. No so in this case. But maybe if I just keep saying it politely over and over it will eventually sink in. But I'm venting now and need to stop. Thanks for all the good ideas. 3/4 of their toys are put in boxes at the moment because it was boxes or my sanity and boxes seemed the better choice!

    P.S. - I get to keep all the garage sale money and I'm buying...BOOKS! Although maybe fish & fish tank would be a good incentive, I guess I could share after all. 

    Posted 1 year ago # Report Post
14. 

    Sue
    Member

    @ Lindsey,

    I'm with you on the Barbie purging, but I don't want to put that poor excuse for a role model in the hands of any other little girl.....so I just ripped the heads off them myself, walked toward the garbage can, and....she shoots, she scores!

    Okay, now that I've soiled my reputation with everyone by painting that grisly picture, I'll quietly slink off to bed....

    Posted 1 year ago # Report Post
15. 

    simple home
    Member

    It helps me to visualize how much space to allow for toys. For instance, I allow my girls to have their closet with toys in containers. When there starts to be no walk-in room, it's time to purge (I clean out/ rid about once a season). In their room we have a bookshelf for books, with also two baskets that hold their favorite dolls. That's it. They aren't allowed to get in the closet without permission, we do toy rotation and they enjoy their toys this way. Of course they can ask anytime and get something, but they just can't take ALL toys out at one time.

    This keeps things easier to clean up everyday!

    Posted 1 year ago # Report Post

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