I took my boys out of PS at the beginning of last year partially for personal/attitude reasons, and partially for acedemic reasons. With my oldest in particular I felt like I was losing him from the moment he started kindergarten. He is VERY concerned about his social position, and is a real follower. He has hated being homeschooled. Even though acedemically he has made much progress this past year (in terms of math especially though he's only starting to approach a real understanding of basic operations) I feel I'm still failing if he is still going around telling everyone he hates being homeschooled and complaining about how he doesn't like to be different and just wants to go back to school so he can hang out with his friends, how he never hears from any of the kids he used to hang out with and how mean I am and how I'm making his life a nightmare by insisting on homeschooling him.
I am so disappointed and feeling really depressed about all of this right now. It's been another horrible day and I haven't anyone here to talk to. My dh won't be home before midnight and I'm not at all sure what his response will be. Our son is going into 6th. If he were to go to PS he would have to be up at 6am to catch the bus to the Jr High at ten to 7. He can barely pull himself out of bed by 8:15 now! In one sense I do feel I am stealing some "normal" experiences from him.
Granted this past year has not been perfect -- we've tried out some curriculums that weren't working for us, played with routines and tried to find the things that work. We didn't always have time to do all the fun things I would like to do, partially because he wants to play with his friends as soon as they get home from school. I thought that being able to do that was maybe more important than try to fit in a board game or art project. Maybe I should have done more of that instead of actual work this year. Maybe I should have allowed a longer period of deschooling with out even worrying about the basics -- but then he'd still not be able to subtract with regrouping!
And it is harder when I work part time, but as much as I'd like to, every time I mention quiting my job my dh asks if he can quit his, too. I know he's having a real difficult time at work right now --loves his work, but really struggling with the integrity of the management team right now. He has so many frustrations of his own, I hate burdening him with this one. My job allows us to afford those extras -- like travelling, and I know that if he didn't have a nice vacation to look forward to each year, well let's just say sometimes it's the only thing keeping him sane, so I feel so guilty when I mention giving up my job.
Well, I didn't meant to rant so much. I'm just so down and confused and really doubting that I can really continue to do this. I know if I were to given in and allow my older ds to go to PS, my younger one would give me a hard time, too. Sending him back feels like giving up on him. But I'm really afraid of what the out-come over the long term will be if he continues to be so negative about the whole thing. There are some days when he does really seem on board, but they are rare.