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Family Worship

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Started 2 years ago by tandc93
Latest reply from nebby

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tandc93
Member

I just finished reading "Faith Driven Family" and absolutely LOVED it! It has convicted me and encouraged me to do more in being deliberate with imparting our faith to our children.

I've been feeling for a while now that we (my family) shouldn't be putting our children in Children's Church on Sundays. The boys are fine coming with us. The girls are a work in progress, do well when the come in with us, just sometimes like to be in their class... So I guess that's my first question to the group. Does anyone go to a family integrated church? Opinions?

The biggest part of my post is to find out what you do for Family Worship and your favorite books on the subject. That's one thing that Voddie Baucham talks ALOT about in FDF.

There's a list of books that I'm looking at and would love to insider info if you're read/used them! So hard to get a feel from the Amazon reviews and no views of the inside. And with finances tight, I hate to make a mistake!

Here they are:

Family Worship, In the Bible, In History, and In Your Home (Donald Whitney)

Training Hearts and Teaching Minds (Star Meade)

The Family Worship Book: A Resource Book for Family Devotions (Terry L. Johnson)

Truth and Grace Memory books by Founders Press (Look good--inexpensive, broken down by age groups, BUT I haven't found a place to actually look inside them, which bugs me!)

I am looking for a good catechism book. That was one thing Voddie talked about that made much sense. I never really thought about it, but he says "That is not to say that children armed with this information will never violate the principles they have been taught, but it will require thought-out rebellion as opposed to the logical assumption that the activity is justifiable." [The example he gave was about not engaging in premarital relations. He was told it was b/c he was too young and could get someone pg. Of course when he was older, he could justify these objections away. Instruction based on an understanding of the sanctity of marriage, dignity of the opposite sex, role of protector, biblical purpose for which relations were given...]

Thanks and sorry for the ramble.

Posted 2 years ago # Report Post
R7blessings
Member

Love that book also!

We HomeChurch with several families - as there is no FIC around here -- small town.

We have the Truth and Grace Memory books - they look good --- but so far we have made up our own catechism.

Vision forum has a DVD set How to disciple Your family - I think is the name--and in it they tell you how to make your own Fmily catechism - we couldn't find one that we really liked anyway.

I don't know about the other books - sorry.

Keeping your childrens hearts --by the Maxwells -- is another good one.

HTH

Mic

Posted 2 years ago # Report Post
art
Member

You asked if anyone goes to a family integrated church. I do. We love it so much. The whole family goes to the worship service together. Then everyone goes to classes designed for them. We belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons). Everything we do is family oriented. It's all about the family.

Just in answer to your question. For family worship daily, we study the Bible and Book of Mormon together and have family prayer several times a day.

It's wonderful to have a desire to impart your faith more deliberately to your children. I wish you great success.

Posted 2 years ago # Report Post
Hope
Member

My husband is a pastor and while our chuch does not have Family Integrated Worship, he hopes to make it more this way. Right now, 2 and up go to worship and then 2-5 go to children's church when the sermon begins.

However, we decided we want our kids with me in church. They do pretty well for the most part. I have let the younger two on occasion go to children's church but mostly they stay in church. The book Parenting in the Pew is awesome and has great advice on having your children in church with you.

As far as Family Worship at home, we do it along with homeschooling. In the mornings before dh needs to go to work, we read our Bible lesson for the day, discuss it, and then have a time of hymns and praise. I add in one new each week and we discuss it's meaning as well. Then, we sing our new song, plus a handful of others we've learned. This is a new thing for us, but we are really enjoying it.

I'm not familiar with the books you listed, but hope some others can help you.

Posted 2 years ago # Report Post
tandc93
Member

Mic, can you be more specific about what's in the Truth and Grace books? So frustrating to not get a glimpse...aren't I spoiled!?

I did just purchase the Maxwell's book, just read FDF first.

THANKS!

Posted 2 years ago # Report Post
Julie
Member

We use and really like Starr Meade's book, although we do have to take a break from it every once in awhile because it's a lot of information to take in. We were not at all familiar with the catechism before starting that book and it's been really helpful.

Good to hear about Faith Driven Family -- I've been considering reading that one!

Posted 2 years ago # Report Post
mjemom
Member

I used to work for Terry Johnson before I was married (who wrote the Family Worship Book) - I was his assistant and typed several of his books while I worked for him - I highly respect him and think his Family Worship book is a great resource - it would be a good thing to have on your shelf no matter what type of family worship you do. If you have any specific questions about that book or any of his others I can possibly help as I've typed so much of what is in them :)

As for us, we keep the mindset that family worship does not have to be a certain structured time every day and it doesn't have to look like church at home - we really like the idea of teaching in the milieu. However, we do still have structured times that we teach them things about worship. For us, we've always sang hymns, read the bible (usually proverbs), practiced the Lords Prayer, the Apostles Creed, etc. and prayed at bedtime - we have been amazed at how much this helps our children be able to participate more in worship on Sunday. My children love to sing hymns and know many of them by heart before they can read by just singing every night. I have another friend who has always done this at the dinner table as they finish their meal. In the morning at breakfast we read through the Bible - right now we have used Catherine Vos' Child's Story Bible (my children are still young).

Posted 2 years ago # Report Post
Daniellemomof4
Member

Hi tandc93,

My husband and I read Family Driven Faith about 1 1/2 years ago and we absolutely loved it! We felt like someone was finally saying what we have believed what we should be doing with our children. We always had our kids in Sunday school up until Jr. High age and then they came to church with us and didnt do any of the youth group things. Then, about 3 years ago we felt convicted to have all our children with us in church and not send them to Sunday school no matter what their age. We definitely stand out in our church but not in a bad way. :-)

Last summer, Voddie Baucham spoke at our homeschool convention and we were sold. We visited his church, Grace Family Baptist, for a couple of weeks last September and then came home and put our house up for sale to move there. It was that good and the people in the church were so wonderful! We live in CA and there aren't any FICs near us. We feel very alone in our walk. Unfortunately, right now is not the time to sell so after 9 months we took our house off the market. We are content with staying put until the Lord shows us something different.

As far as Family Worship goes, I do about 45 minutes of Bible (Hymn, Bible reading, prayer, character studies, and devotions) in the morning with the kids to start our school day. At night, my husband leads us in prayer and then we use Training Hearts and Teaching Minds. We end with singing the Doxology. We are enjoying it and it doesn't take too much time. I also have the Grace and Truth books. They are nice but the way they are set up, if you want to do them as a family, you would have to start at the really easy part and then work up from there. Our kids ages are 17, 13, 12, & 9 and it was too hard to keep them all together with those books.

I just started reading the Maxwell book Keeping Your Children's Hearts. A friend told me it is better than Family Driven Faith-WOW, I can't wait to see!

Sorry for the rambling, it is just so nice to hear from like-minded families!

Blessings,

Danielle

Posted 2 years ago # Report Post
Misty
Member

I just wanted to say we don't have what I would say is a family worship at our church per say. Parents are just to make the choice where the children go. To Sunday school, the nursery, use the seperate but attached to the church room where the family is "in" church but the walls are there if things get loud (hope that makes sense it's a nice room if that's what you like) or like my family we believe the kids should be in church in the pew and "learn" how to behave in church.

So yes my children ages 12yr to 18 mo all go to church with us. They know what we expect. Now if my 18 month old gets loud to the point of being interuptive I just walk her out to the hall, talk with her and when we are back in check we go back into church. I was taught by my grandpa that children are to be in church, not at the church. That's just how I was raised. I think it's a blessing to have them with us. Yes, sometimes it''s not all fun but God knows we are trying! Misty

Posted 2 years ago # Report Post
tandc93
Member

I like that--children are to be in church, not at the church! Great words, Misty!

Our church is otherwise great and no one looks at us weird if we bring the kids, but they nursery workers push it. Our last 2 are adopted from China. Shaoey didn't go into the children's church until a month before we got sister. As soon as we came home with Grace, I felt the pressure to put her in even though she was having attachment issues and I tried explaining it. I didn't give in, but it was annoying the insistence that she would be fine (away from us) and have fun and...you get the picture--they can do it better... I feel bad for them in a way, b/c it almost seemed offended and hurt that we didn't "trust" them to keep our kids.

Posted 2 years ago # Report Post
tandc93
Member

Danielle, can you share what the first book is like? Maybe a couple of examples.

I wish I had known all this stuff before my boys, but I didn't... We didn't become true christians until my boys were about 4 and 6 and didn't find CM until they were about 8? I feel like I have been given a second chance with my girls. I want to be able to start them from the beginning--relationship with God, catechism, church, Charlotte Mason... all of it!

I pray I can pass all this on to my children so that they won't be starting from scratch like my husband and me...

Posted 2 years ago # Report Post
Sanveann
Member

I'm Catholic, and since most Catholic churches don't have child care (or it's very limited), I've spent a LOT of time in church with very small children. And it's not always particularly awesome, lol! To be honest, I'm jealous of churches that give people the CHOICE to have child care or not. I don't think anyone should ever be pressured into it -- hey, if your kid will sit still for an hour or more, that's awesome, and I absolutely think they should be at services with you if you want them there.

But this is my usual experience at Mass with two rambunctious toddler boys: DH (who is not Catholic but goes with me most of the time) and I get there early to find a seat near the door in case anyone has a meltdown and we need to make a quick exit. Eli (20 months) wants to run up and down the pews and whines when prevented from doing so. Matthew (3 1/2) starts loudly demanding, "Go home? GO HOME?", usually during the middle of the homily. DH takes them out in the narthex (no cry room at our parish) and spends the remainder of the time there with them, trying to keep them from running around and screeching. Considering he didn't want to go to church that much in the first place, he's unhappy, the boys are unhappy, and I spend the rest of Mass stressed out about how the boys are behaving.

So, while I love the idea of all worshipping together as a family, in reality it doesn't generally happen that way, and I end up wishing desperately there was childcare!

Posted 2 years ago # Report Post
tandc93
Member

Sanveann, so sorry that it's rough! I have to admit, I remember our early days with the boys when we were still Catholic. Part of what made us "leave" the church was that we left more stressed than we got there! It wasn't worth the effort for the results. Does that make sense? My girls really do well now though. A change in me? Training them? Don't know. They're 3 and 5 and will sit through 1 1/2- 2 hours of service!

One of my most powerful moments recently was when I looked down at Shaoey and saw her singing her little 5 year old heart out during worship with her eyes closed and her hands up! I burst into tears...

I know this sounds counter-intuitive, but have you considered sitting near the front? Think of how hard it is for us as adults to sit farther back and keep our minds on the service.... The first few times might be a bit difficult, but as they are able to watch and see and hear better, maybe they'll be more in tune. When our girls come in with us, we sit in about row 5 so they have a good view. Just a thought.

Posted 2 years ago # Report Post
Sanveann
Member

Tandc, that must have been darling! :)

I think for the time being, I'm just going to try going by myself for awhile, or maybe just taking one kiddo at a time and leaving the other home with DH. Eli is really too little to be expected to sit perfectly still that long, IMHO, and Matthew has some sensory issues (I suspect -- he still has to get evaluated) that make it difficult for him to sit and listen or play quietly for just about ANY length of time. I don't really like going by myself, but it seems better than the alternative, which is two loud, cranky kids and a husband who resents going to Mass!

Posted 2 years ago # Report Post
mjemom
Member

okay silly me - when I think of Family Worship (especially since I typed so much about it working for Terry Johnson) I think about time at home - I must have skimmed over the part about children in church! Since our children were born (we have a 5yo boy and twin 3 yo boys) we have gone to a church where everyone keeps their kids with them. The good part about that is that everyone is used to it so you don't feel so alone keeping them with you - the bad part about it is like Sanveann said above - that is what many Sundays are like. I will say that especially when our twins were babies I really wondered why I went in the first place, I would have to get up and nurse them during the service, someone would need changing, etc. - we did have a cry room with a speaker in it but as it is called a cry room, that is a lot of what went on in there so listening was almost impossible. I think I missed a good couple of years of church while my kids were babies. I will say though where we are now it seems ages ago that Sundays were so hard and I am thankful that my children sit in church with me - it is amazing how much they pick up on and can tell us about the sermon, even at 3 years old! The training/enduring it was worth it in our opinion. I would just encourage those of you who want your kids in church with you to keep it up - it can be rough but you will be glad you did. I do have other friends who went to churches that had nurseries/children's church and they would do sort of a compromise - they would start at about 2-3 depending on the child and keep them in an evening service and then work them up to the morning. Looking back, I probably would have loved having a break when my twins were babies, but for us, we always have felt the training for worship was easier because they never knew the difference (that playing with toys was an option) and worshiping together was just what we did on Sundays - it has been so sweet watching my children's love for the Lord's Day grow and see them look forward to worship!

As far as books, I am of course partial to The Family Worship Book by Terry Johnson. If you are looking for a catechism book, that book contains both the Children's Catechism as well as the Shorter Catechism. Other good resources in that book are: many Psalms and Hymns for singing (and a schedule for memorizing/learning them), various Creeds, bible reading schedules/records, scripture memory passages, selections of scriptural prayers, some great articles by Terry on worship and other useful topics, and some historical articles as well. Again, I think no matter how you structure your time at home (he gives suggestions - we personally do things a little differently) it is a fabulous resource to have.

Again, I apologize for not reading your first question better!

Posted 2 years ago # Report Post

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