SCM Discussion Forum

1. 

   LDIMom
   Member

   What do you do when you have family members who disagree with something you are teaching your children?

   I don't want to get into the Creation Science question as much as wonder if anyone else deals with this.

   Just got off the phone with my Mom who is telling me about a Dinosaur exhibit opening up locally. I tell her we aren't going b/c a). it costs extra money (we have annual passes to the place but this exhibit is extra), and b). it would teach only one theory of the dinosaurs.

   She then says, "Do you really think the earth is only a few thousand years old? You really don't think the dinosaurs were here millions of years ago? Before humans?" Then she goes on to the other topics we've discussed before including Adam and Eve and other stuff (knowing we don't agree on a lot of it).

   I love my Mom dearly and for the most part, she is a great support to our family. She loves our children whollly and is very supportive of our large family and our desire to homeschool. So I don't want this to be a big sticking point but really why can't she just let it go?

   What would you do? I try to just redirect the conversation, but she just keeps pushing me and it feels awkward and I get all jumbled on how to explain to her why we believe what we believe. BTW, she is a follower of Jesus but she and my Dad definitely have some liberal views. I don't know how to handle this and feel like I didn't handle the phone converstiaon well at all.

   She even alluded that we were sheltering our children way too much. What she doesn't know is that our 13YO son is studying geology right now and I even gave him several resources, including ones that present different theories from a more secular standpoint. I do want him to be exposed and to decide what he believes for himself. Thankfully, he believes in Creation as we do, but I also know he is mature enough to handle the thought-provoking discussions we have had (and our little ones are not so why expose them to something we don't believe is fact but is presented as fact?).

   Thanks for any advice if you have dealt with something similar (whether about Creation Science or some other subject). I just wish she wouldn't put me up to the questions and expecting explanations.

   Posted 1 year ago # Report Post
2. 

   4myboys
   Member

   I can certainly relate.  My mother and sisters are very liberal believers.  They are extemely intellegent people, but not very well educated in the matter.  For the most part their science education ended in highschool and the one sister who is actually still interested in science tends to watch science programming that supports what she was taught in school.  She believes that evolution has been proven and has never spent any time researching anything on her own.  This is the case for most liberal Christians, I think.  The problem is that Science isn't the only area we disagree.  They also believe in same-gender marriage and that everyone goes to heaven despite their beliefs, as long as they are realtively good people.  I was taught growing up by my mother that the creation story was a myth.  It wasn't until I connected with an evangelical church less than a decade ago that I really felt a need to question, research, read and understand the Bible as the infallable word of God. 

   Conversations on the topic rarely end well, so like you, I avoid them as much as I can.  Thankfully that's not usually difficult as they live four provinces away and I rarely see them more than once a year.  I don't think they are fully supportive of us homeschooling, but they won't say anything.  My mother will comment once in awhile.  Like when I told her we might be moving bigger city if dh decides to take a different job, she says "Oh -- iin a bigger city they would have more schools with programs that would be able to help with the boys learning disabilities!"  Real encouraging, huh.

   I don't really know the answer.  I pray that the Holy Spirit will open their hearts to the truth of God's Word.  I pray that we don't spend visits debating the age of the earth or something else.  I am not that articulate in a debate, and my mom tends to get moody, hide in a bedroom and not speak for three days somehow offended that I'm closed minded or unenlighted. 

   An interesting story:  I work in a church office.  Shortly after I began I passed a phone call to one of our ministry leaders from a woman calling from Creation Ministries International in Toronto who had the same name as a friend I'd had in grade school.  It nagged at me so much I had to ask the ministry leader to ask the caller if she'd lived in my home town in Ontario ( I now live in Nova Scotia).  Turns out this was the same woman who had been one of my best friends in Grade School.  We had a great conversation, she told me how she'd given up her career as a structural engineer to organize speaking tours for CMI.  She is now the first person I think of when it comes to looking for Christian science resources. 

   Posted 1 year ago # Report Post
3. 

   Bookworm
   Member

   LDIMom, you are doing the right thing.  You sound like you've thought this through and you are even sensibly exposing your older son to some of what he's going to hear in the world.  The FIRST thing to do is to remember this and remember God gave these children to you and you are doing the right thing. 

   Now.  To preserve the relationship with your parents.  That is harder.  They are worried that your kids are going to end up weird.  :-)  To them, "everybody" believes in an old earth and evolution and you are trying to make your kids end up wacko.  You really probably can't change this.  The consistent growth and development of your kids might ease the fears eventually but it'll take time.  Since you have a hard time during a conversation, have you considered writing a prayerful letter, explaining why you find this so important, that you are following God's will for your family, and that you do intend to expose them to other theories at the right time and in the right way.  I know I always get what I really want to say down on paper better, especially if I take my time to make sure it is right.

   Another approach might be to share some books or videos that might help explain your viewpoint better.  There are some EXCELLENT ones out there.  I would think some, like Expelled, would even shake up a died-in-the-wool evolutionist, especially at the part when the evolutionist being interviewed admits that his only explanation for how life REALLY started is "extraterrestrials."  LOL  This might help some of the "answering questions" pressure, too.  As can reminding her how often scientific theories change. 

   None of this is likely to be a panacea, though, since the basic problem is she's afraid you are raising weirdos who won't fit into contemporary culture.  Well, this is partly true :-)  but not the whole story.  Your kids ARE going to be different, but in time your parents may come to see it as "good" different and not worry they are moving to Montana with an armory and a shed full of emergency food. (Yes, my mom accused us once of heading that way, lol)

   HTH some!

   Posted 1 year ago # Report Post
4. 

   sbkrjulie
   Member

   I have two brothers (younger) and neither of them are Christian. I actually avoid any "religious" talk outside of mealtime prayers when they are around. I do pray that God places someone in their life to reach them.

   At any rate...a church I used to attend had a gentleman doing a study on creation vs evoluation. He had some very thought-provoking videos about all of it. He made mention that it may have been that we actually walked with the dinosaurs given the age of the earth.

   I believe our Earth is still young and not as old as scientists want us to believe. I do think dinosaurs existed given the bones they are finding...but did we walk with them? Good question and I am sure God will give me that answer once I meet up on the "pearly gates"

   I think a lof of disagreement over dinosaurs in our family is that I firmly do not believe it was "millions and millions of years ago"

   Posted 1 year ago # Report Post
5. 

   4myboys
   Member

   I am a firm believer in a young earth and a firm believer that there is enough evidence, Biblical and otherwise to confirm that man and dinosaurs co-existed, beginning with the Genesis account of land animals and man being created ion the sixth day.  I also think that the behemoth described in Job was indeed a dinosaur. I believe the Leviathan may also have been some form of water dinosaur.  There are all kinds of mentions of dragons and cave paintings of primative people hunting dinosaur type creatures, so where did they get the idea to paint such things if they had never seen them?  There are several interesting books and documentaries on such things.  I can look a few referances up for you, if you like.  I know our Youth Pastor showed one to our Youth Group not that long ago.

    

   Posted 1 year ago # Report Post
6. 

   NJcountrygal
   Member

   Wow!  My heart goes out to those of you who have posted your troubles here!!!  It seems so strange to me that there are christians that have trouble taking the Bible literally.  This is by no means meant to be a critical statement for I grew up in a very conservative family.  My Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles and Cousins all went to church and believed pretty much the same doctrinally.  It wasn't always this way though!!!  When my grandparents first were saved and began getting very involved in church there parents thought they were crazy, there kids would be to sheltered, etc.  When my parents were raising us they became even more conservative and decided that we would not attend public schools because of the confusion of the things being taught there.  They put us in private schools and homeschooled us for a few years when I was in junior high.  Guess what!  My wonderful, godly grandparents, aunts and uncles thought my parents were crazy and that we would grow up to sheltered.  Well, today I believe that my generation in my family is even more conservative than our parents.  Out of the five of my siblings and cousins who already have children, four of us are educating our own children and the fifth has only preschoolers so far.  My grandparents, aunts and uncles no longer think my parents were crazy!!!  I'm so thankful that my parents took a firm but kind stand!!!  As young children we were taught the literal truths of the Bible and as we grew older we were presented with the views of those who don't believe the Bible as literal.  I'm so thankful for the heritage of taking God at His Word left to me by my parents and grandparents!!!!!  So, to those of you struggling....please remember that your grandchildren and great grandchildren will benefit from the struggles you face today!  Stand firm and be kind about what you believe and what you feel is right for your children!!!   BTW, my husbands parents thought we were crazy for pulling our dd out after K-5 from a private school and deciding to HS, but they are starting to understand and come around!!!

   Posted 1 year ago # Report Post

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