Charlotte on Competition

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  • December 28, 2013 at 2:12 am
    ServingwithJoy
    Participant

    I am contemplating (in this coming New Year) what has and has not worked for us in our homeschooling journey. I keep bumping up against the concept of competition and comparison that I find to be rampant in our culture, our churches, our homeschooling community.

    I don’t have some sort of philosophical objection to competition, but when I reflect on the situations that I have felt uncomfortable in with our kids, they are mostly competitive in nature.

    For example, I have tried twice to enroll the kids in 4-H clubs. I think the activities and values they promote are right up our alley. But it seems that there is an atmosphere of busy, busy, busy…win, win, win in both clubs we have joined. I have resisted it for our family, but I am made to feel a bit guilty for our lack of complete commitment.

    There are other instances in our homeschool community of this ‘winning’ mentality that bother me.

    And I am wondering…

    Is it me? Is there something in me that just resists competition or the win/lose? Or is this something Christ would approve of in our training of our children?

    Does anyone else feel ‘shamed’ by a lack of willingness to expose their kids to this competitive spirit?

    How did Charlotte feel about competitiveness? Did she speak on it?

    I value your wisdom and advice!

    December 28, 2013 at 1:12 pm
    nebby
    Participant

    I think CM would say that we all have an innate desire to win to varying degrees but that we also have other drives. The problem with our educational system is that it feeds the desire to win or to get prizes to the point where it balloons out of control and other good drives like the desire to learn and know are suppressed.

    I have one child who is very non-competitive and another who is very competitive. It is just how they are made. I think it is fine to avoid the competitive environments if that is what fits for you and your kids. I would take some time to make sure it is not just your inclination and that you have considered their personalities as well. I will say that for my competitive kid I would be very choosy about where and how he gets that need met. I could see that he would easily be sucked in by competition for grades which could be bad but I am all for him being in a homeschool chess club and competing that way.

    Nebby

    http://www.lettersfromnebby.wordpress.com

    December 28, 2013 at 3:25 pm
    missceegee
    Participant

    Most of my kids can be quite competitive in games and sports, but their is a difference in competing to win with a good attitude and displaying good sportsmanship and not. I don’t mind competition when done properly. It’s not a whole lot of fun to play chess or baseball when no one is really competing, but just there to be there. Neither is it fun when one person/team is gloating, or worse belittling the other. However, when everyone tries their best with good attitudes and sportsmanship, well, that can be a whole lot of fun!

    I echo Nebby’s sentiment about different kids (or adults) being different. My husband and ds9 are both very competitive and driven and yet both keep a good attitude when they don’t come out on top. DS9 plays both baseball and golf and frankly is quite good at both. This last baseball season, his team stunk. Really stunk. His coaches didn’t coach well because they didn’t know the game as well as they could have. This was new for ds. His previous teams have been winners and his coaching quite good. However, it was a wonderful opportunity for him to step up and be a leader, encouraging the other kids, doing his best for the team, not getting down when they lost. DD12 doesn’t like the competitive nature of team sports, however, put her on a horse and she’s going to ride to the best of her ability and doesn’t really care who else is there or if she wins/loses. She’s all about the horse and learning and growing as a rider. DD6 is a dreamer and just loves to play. She has a great attitude win, lose, or draw. DS4, well, he pouts when he loses a game. We’re working on that by playing more games and giving him ample opportunity to learn to both win and lose gracefully.

    Competition, in certain arenas, done well can be a good thing, imo. 

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