Anyone else NOT preparing daughters for college?

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  • simplicity
    Participant

    Hello, all. Just wondering if there are other parents who are NOT preparing daughters for college.  If so…what aspects of their education do you feel are most important?  What are your goals/plans through the high school years to keep your daughters challenged, learning, and growing?  I would love some encouragement and ideas in this area (as well, I guess, as some reassurance that we’re not the only ones!).

    richpond
    Participant

    You are not the only ones!! We are in the same boat. My daughters are only 7 and 4 at this time but we aren’t planning on college for either of them and want to stay clear of all that mindset. Of course we want them to grow up to have a meek and quiet spirit, be submissive to their parents and then to their husbands.

    At this point we plan on investing time learning how to manage a home not just cooking and cleaning but also skills such as money management, saving, budgeting etc. There are always the homemaking skills of sewing, caring for children, making homemade products, first aid, and taking care of the ill use of herbs and such. We also think it is important to teach them computer skills, writing, and oration. Who knows what  “platform” God may give them as helpmeets!

     I’ll be interested too hear what others have to say. Thanks for bringing up this topic.

    Shelly

    Scherger5
    Participant

    We too, have recently decided that college is not where we want our daughters (nearly 13 and 4) and maybe not even our son.  This is a rather new way of thinking for us, but we feel so at peace about it!  Our oldest daughter will be beginning high school studies in August and we are focusing on homemaking skills and having a gentle spirit as much as we are focusing on “more acedemic” subjects.  I make sure to give her plenty of time to focus on her gifts, which happen to be playing piano and photography.  She also has a heart to serve and volunteers her time at our church for children’s programs and anything that requires cooking something. Laughing  Here is a link to a list of attainments I made for my daughter to accomplish before leaving our home: http://llljourney.blogspot.com/2010/03/list-of-attainments.html

    Here is a link to my daughter’s blog where you can see some of the things she loves and has enjoyed learning:  http://allie-polkadotdreams.blogspot.com/

    I look forward to hearing what other families are doing to prepare daughters.

    Blessings to you all,

    ~Heather

    missceegee
    Participant

    All of my children are young – 9yo dd, 6yo ds, almost 3yo dd and 5 month old ds. My husband and I have not given it a lot of thought in terms of our daughters versus our sons at this point. However, neither of us think that everyone needs to go to college or that one should go into debt for it. We’re also acutely aware of the negative influences that are prevalent, but we do want all of our children to be able to support themselves as adults. We don’t know if marriage will be in all of their futures, though we certainly hope so. How do you prepare your daughters to be self-sufficient if marriage doesn’t happen?

    I’m not wording this well and it seems argumentative, though that is not my intention. I sincerely want to know your thoughts on this issue. 

    ~ Christie

    cherylramirez
    Participant

    What a relief to see this topic!  I am not preparing my dd for college either.  My husband unfortunately is not totally on board yet, but I can detect changes.  There is a WONDERRFUL conversation you all can listen to on blogtalkradio.com.  Look for Cindy Rushton’s discussion with Chris Davis, formerly of the Elijah Company.  Neither of them prepared their children for college and Mr. Davis’ children turned out great.  One of his sons works in Los Angeles for a film company after years of entertaining on the Carnival Cruise lines!  This conversation will reinforce the choice you’ve made and give you a few tidbits of info for your journey. 

    My 12yodd is starting a cake decorating business.  She has taken several lessons and has a knack for it.  Her business is called “The SweetyCake Factory”  and she has her first paying job in a couple weeks.  There are lots  things women can do at home, take care of her family and still contribute to her family’s income.  Sometime in the next year or so I want to look for a math course about stewardship and business finances.   She is building her own cookbook and loves to experiment with recipes.   She is more aware of a woman’s role in society and always asks questions about what she sees other people doing.   She does have a desire to go to Zambia and work in an orphange for a while before she “settles down”.

    richpond
    Participant

    Christie, I didn’t think your post was arguementative at all.

    I know for our family if our daughters do not marry they will continue in our household under the protection and provision of their daddy. We will strive to have home buisnesses for them to work and use their skills and of course we would be encouraging and giving them opportunities to serve in many areas of life.

    I think that is one of the downfalls of Christianity today. So many women are working and pursuing careers outside the home it is hard for them to meet the needs of their own families but also of the world around them. I say that with conviction, knowing that even though I am a “stay at home” mom I don’t meet the needs of my family and those around me as I should. I don’t show Christ’s love as I should but I am striving.

    Shelly

    richpond
    Participant

    Oh I forgot to mention..Heather I like the list of attainments. Smile I need to ATTAIN those too.

    Shelly

    Sonya Shafer
    Moderator

    We, too, try to emphasize being productive and using each one’s unique talents and interests to create a cottage industry. For example, one daughter is spinning and dyeing and selling her creations. Another is earning royalties from video projects that she has filmed, edited, and produced.

    We haven’t forbade college, but we haven’t encouraged it either. If any of our daughters wants to take college-level courses, we will encourage her to do so online from home, if possible. 

    Here are some of my ponderings about attending college.

    Scherger5
    Participant

    I agree with Shelly.  If our daughters do not end up marrying, they will remain under the provision and protection of their father.  My oldest is very interested in photography and has plans to learn the trade under a close friend of ours and she is also a gifted pianist and has considered giving lessons in a few years.  We’re not sure about the 4 year old yet Wink her gifts are still emerging.   

    Heather

    cherylramirez
    Participant
    kimofthesavages
    Participant

    I’m with you on this. There was another discussion a few months ago on this subject you might enjoy reading. I don’t remember the exact title of it but I think it started with “Crazy or on to something”. :o)

    mrsselby
    Member

    Okay, I love these forums but my children are very young, so I rarely respond.  However, I have a question about this topic.  What if your daughters WANT to go to college?  Not for the parties or the “college experience.”  I quite agree that that is not important.  However, I thrived in college.  I love studying things, having late night talks about the state of the world and eternity, studying under professors that were knowledgeable and accomplished. 

     

    I’m not saying college is for everyone.  My husband and I will really push our boys to take a gap year, at least.  And, of course, some skills are just not furthered in college.  However, what if you have daughters are academic?  I don’t mean to be argumentative.  I’m really just curious.

    Des
    Participant

    I can not tell you how grateful I am for the timing of this post, I do believe that God is trying to tell me something and i’ve just been to stubborn/willful to listen.  Thank you!

    richpond
    Participant

    mrsselby,

     For our family if one of my girls liked learning and wanted to further their learning; we could find on line courses or even learning from someone we know that has that same skill or knowledge. It would be much cheaper and actually they would learn A LOT more I think from apprenticeships (is that a word?). AND of course there are always LOTS of books to learn from. Just give them the tools and they can’t help but learn and further their education. Laughing

    Shelly

    Chantelle
    Participant

    I have seen it from both sides.  I was the first in my family on my mom’s side to ever attend college and I graduated with a double major.  My parents always encouraged me to do my best and taught me that I can do anything.  I was considered “gifted” in school and participated in all of those related programs.  I wouldn’t trade my experiences in school and college or the work force for anything. I never desired to have children and therefore begin pursuing my career.  I earned all my securities licenses and my Certified Financial Planner designation.  I loved my career and helping others to manage their money.  But God often has other plans for us!  After I had children, it became very hard to balance work and family and gradually I reduced my work time down and eventually left my career to be at home with my children.  I have been teaching preschool for the last 3 year 3 days per week.  We are just now deciding to homeschool our children for the upcoming year.  So I will start out my homeschool experience with a 5th grader, 2nd grader and 4 year old (all boys).  I am terrified and nervous, but excited all at the same time.  I know God will lead us if we seek His will.

    I would love to see my children attend collge if their desired career path requires it.  However, if they have a skill they can develop and make a living from happily without college, I’m perfectly fine with that , too!  

    I do think the devil has stolen our families by tricking women (and men) into believing that women can and should “have it all”, meaning a successful busy career while being a wonderful wife and mother.  It is just practically impossible to do both and do them both well, in my opinion! 

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