I knew it was a modesty issue too. While I agree with that, i think it's only appropriate to say no gifts please. Anything else is a bit of a controversy. This is a child's birthday, not a platform for moral opinion and that is EXACTLY what it will be perceived to be if there is specification! :)

Bethanna, your reasons are the same as ours for limiting not just which princesses, but all Barbies and Bratz, etc. across the board. I figured it was your reasoning, too; however, you don't owe an explanation for your reasoning, honestly.

We found some older style (guess it'd be retro or vintage) at WalMart years ago of Snow White, Sleeping Beauty (which is my favorite), Belle (another tie for favorite since she loves to read) and a regularly clothed, sweet-smiling Ariel (we discussed her disobedience to her father) and Mulan. She wasn't ever intersted in Pocahontas, but she did have paper dolls of a Princess Leonora that she liked. These weren't at all unrealistically curvy and all parts were fully covered. I was surprised that they existed. Those are the only ones my dd has since the others weren't acceptable.

What I found amusing with my children is that they ended up not liking most of the Disney versions because, by the time they saw the movies, they had already read the original fairy tales and were quite disappointed with the changes in storyline. Well, except for Sleeping Beauty-that's an AWESOME dragon!! It was a later one to be watched too since it's so dramatic; but I digress. Oh, and I told my children to be grateful- that Ariel had more clothes on than regular mermaids!! LOL! Thank G-d for seashells since her hair wouldn't stay in place!

We like our original fairy tales here and cringe when they are "disneyized". There's really nothing else Disney that our young ones can look to for wholesome entertainment; Walt would be disappointed, I think. I used to enjoy The Wonderful World of Disney on tv when I was little-do you remember that?

Oops, got off topic...sorry.

ETA: speaking of paper dolls, there are wonderful collections at Dover. My dd loves paper dolls. I got her the American HIstory collection among others. It's been great and she rememebrs the time epriods and their clothing.

Funny Bethanna, my first reaction to your OP ...I know why you are saying that! Cause they are too skimpy and seductive!! I love the princesses BUT if I had a girl I wouldn't want her to associate w/ them either! We love going to Disney..but I am emabarassed for a princess to walk by! When you cringe that your dh will see them..then you know you surely don't want your dd around them!

The older ones are more modest! oh..I wouldn't mind if someone had suggestions in an invite either! Would help me a lot!

Regarding the invitations,thank you all for your ideas and opinions. Once when visiting a child in the hospital, some other children brought gifts that were donated from their party guests. I thought was a neat idea and didn't remember it until reading suggestions of charities.

Oh my, I am so sorry for the misunderstanding. I post on my phone which takes a long time, but I should have taken the time to give clear reasons for limiting princesses since I mentioned it. It is for modesty mostly. As someone mentioned, the princesses are often so sexy now. Even Cind. And SW often have low cut dresses and a seductive look. My daughter has never seen any of the movies. We often see Ariel dolls, but I didn't like her attitude. I would love for dd to have dolls or paper dolls of other races, but I have never seen any at stores we frequent. There is a Pocahontas paper doll in a catalog we get.

"I think computers make what we say and how it sounds two very different things."

I agree with Misty here.  I know i have been misunderstood many times by others when writing via email or forums, and it is never fun to find out you may have inadvertantly offended someone.  I think everyone means well here.

To the OP, this is an issue we have struggled with at times, and I really like the ideas of asking for donations "in lieu of."  Does your daughter have a favorite cause or charity?  Or maybe you can weave an activity into the party?  For instance, you could have everyone bring school supplies to stuff backpacks that could be donated to children whose parents cannot afford their supplies?  Just a thought.  I'm sure there are lots of other ideas, but I think something like that would be a lot of fun and a good experience for the children.  Then you wouldn't have to worry about the gift thing at all!

Above all, don't stress!  It isn't worth it to stress over our little ones' birthday parties.  Mommy should get to relax and enjoy, too!  :)

Hi Bethanna,

I think you would achieve your goals of limiting "twaddley/inappropriate for your family" gifts by writing "no gifts please" or "no D. Prin." on the invites.  Although you could complicate it and be specific about the two princesses that you are okay with, simplicity seems the obvious best choice. 

Since you asked how we deal with twaddle/inappropriate gifts, we usually ask for no gifts please.

Let's settle down  I think there is quite a bit of tenderness but know all of you are godly women & ferocious mommies .  My first thought as to those specific princesses was maybe they r older, less sexualized ones but I'm a middle class white mama of 2 white girlies lol.  Y'all are awesome even in your passion that might come across harshly (even if not intended), & I believe we are all Christians here more than capable of doing whatever is appropriate...apologizing, forgiving, forgetting & moving on! 

@ BETHANNA: I am sorry that the race-card has been thrown at you. Unfortunately, it has been insinuated that you have ulterior motives of racist undertones in your toy requests and I think it's wrong. Though you never gave reasons for your preferred toy choices, the worst of motives has been ascribed to you.

My family is diverse: all 3 children are Jewish,  my dd and oldest son are bi-racial, as well. I would not have, in a million years, assumed that because someone doesn't want certain toys that they must have racist tendencies. I think that's absurd. If you invited my bi-racial dd in the first place, then obviously she is welcome; irrespective of the types of toys requested.

Reading into your toy requests racist implications is a knee-jerk reaction.

Your original post was not about us judging your motives for why you do or don't want certain toys for your dd, but seeking advice on what to write on the invitations considering your concerns.

Do what you think is right and G-d Bless you in your attempts to use discernment in this world.

Have a great party!

I think computers make what we say and how it sounds two very different things.

I think you might have 2 options - one say nothing as most people will give her a gift reciept and you could just take it back and exchange it or if they don't might be a great way to teach giving to a good cause or save and re-give for the holidays.

my other options has been mentioned - no gifts please - I think it rude to specify to friends but not if it was family.  Or if you just say no princesses, as i have said no barbies thanks in advance for your understanding.

Just my 2 cents.  Misty

I wish there was  way to take a post back. I feel like my post has been attacked by at least one person.

I will not apologize for standing up and saying that I find limited it to two WHITE princesses very offensive to people who are not white. I would not let my DD go b/c she is Asian. If I got an invitation stating "please only bring gifts of Snow White or Cinderella" I would wonder why no Mulan or Pocohontas or the others that are non-WHITE.

I might be totally off-base, but wow, I didn't think my post was "moral outrage" or "righteous indignation." Wow. Unfortunately, racism is something my family has encountered and has to be concerned about b/c believe it or not, racism exists ACROSS THE BOARD, even among Christ-followers.

I have no idea the OP's motivation for limiting it to these two princesses, and I said in my first post I wasn't asking, just sharing my perception of how that type of invite would be received.

I, too, think it would sound a little strange to be that specific, but I would still go to the party. I would hope my child wouldn't end up with six Snow Whites.

I am one, though, who would rather no one bring gifts at all. Or I've thought about collecting money for Gospel for Asia or Compassion, something like that. Instead of a gift, we would like a donation of 2 dollars from each family in order to gift chickens to a family in Asia. Something like that.

Otherwise, if you're doing regular gifts, I'd say no D. princesses, period.

I've never been comfortable being specific, beyond things like "no weapons please," unless someone has specifically asked. I would be confused, truthfully, with a suggestion for specific princesses above others, and afraid of somehow getting things wrong and offending. It might be more gracious to give those details only to those who ask, or to choose a charity to donate to instead.

We have had parties where we requested no gifts, but the children could bring donations for the local animal shelter (the child's choice, he is a big animal lover) if they so chose. We compiled a list of things the shelter needed (paper towels, dog and cat food, chew toys, etc) and the kids were really excited about bringing the gifts. The birthday boy was very proud the years he'd chosen that, and loved delivering the donations to the shelter.

"I always tell my dc that it is kind of rude to tell people what you want unless they ask. If they don't ask, then you graciously receive what they choose to give you"

That's how I was raised and what we teach, too. Thankfully, people have always asked-both friends and family.

I realized my first line sounded a little jumbled. It should've been written:
I don't think it's rude to put a note of no D. princesses, please, but may seem strange to the recipients to only specify those two. I do that with my family (I'm VERY specific), but not friends unless they ask (which they always do anyway, so it's a mute point.

You could even put on the invite: if you have any questions about (insert dd's name here) interests, please don't hesitate to ask when you RSVP; or something along those lines, which may provide a subtle opening. Just an idea.

Hope she has a great B-day!

Rachel

ps: keep in mind, that if these are good friends of yours, then they may already know your views and probably wouldn't buy the wrong items in the first place or they'd ask because they know you're particular. Just an assumption.

I don't know how I feel in regards to whether this is rude so will not offer any thought there lol. An idea though...we were invited to a little girl's b'day party held at a park. Her mother put on the invitation that the little girl only wanted to play with her friends for her b'day & would like a donation of food for a local food pantry if guests felt compelled to give a gift. It was really nice...taught something very valuable to all I believe : )