It's kind of funny to me that family-integrated churches are a trend. Our church just is that way and I never thought about it as a choice particularly. I grew up in the Catholic church where there was no children's church option so I suppose it always seemed natural to me for kids to attend worship too.

Our current church also has no kids' church option. I believe strongly that our children, like us, are commanded to keep the Sabbath by attending coproate worship. And they shoudl do that with the rest of the body of Christ and not inan age-segregated children's worship service. I have four kids now ages 5 through 10. When they were younger it was very hard to keep them all in service. But I think if you are diligent and know it is for a time then it will pay off. By 2 and  a half I find that they can usually make it through a service. there are still off weeks but if you start early and are consistent they will learn what is expected of them. Also, if you do have to take them out, make sure it is not fun! They will learn quickly if bad behavior gets them taken to a nursery full of toys!

At home we do family worship after dinner while we are all still at the table. My husband reads a Bible passage and we discuss it. Then we all take turns praying and them we sing a psalm.

We also do bible as part of our homeschool in the morning. Again we take turns praying. We are currently going through James Beeke's Theology for Younger Children. I wish we could sing pslams more but I am not musical and without my husband to lead singing we don't do well.

It's funny that this topic just came up, because today at Mass I sat behind a mom who was there with FIVE kids, all by herself! (I'd left mine home with DH.) We chatted a bit afterward, and she said the oldest was 7 and the youngest was 2 weeks. They were really good, too! We talked about having a playdate at some point, so I'm going to have to pick her brain and see how she gets them all to behave so nicely :)

Just wanted to pop in and say that I love FDF, it is on my top 5 list of favorite books ever.  

I don't have advice regarding having the kids in church, since our church situation here is totally different.

I wanted to say that the kids and I have a short worship time each morning to start school.  I used to want it to be longer worship, like singing and more prayer, but with 5 little ones, I have opted for simplicity.  We sing one song and then we use Training Hearts book by Starr Meade.  I really like the layout of the book, you work on one question for 6 days, exploring different aspects of it as well as a different Scripture for each day.  We also use Making Brothers and Sisters Best Friends (which isn't catechism), and I have to say, the book is really convicting for me!!  It's all about how to serve the Lord in the little things, and most of all using your family as training ground for future service.  It's written by the Mally's and they are a brother-sister writing team and it is fun to read and the kids are really learning a lot.

Sanveann, I'm sorry your situation is difficult.  As your children get older, it does get easier, I promise!! :)

Blessings,

JoyinIndo

As a part of a Messianic Jewish Congregation with prayer book liturgy, too, here's some ideas for non-readers and a long service; ours runs about 1 1/2+ hrs. Like you said Sanveann, start watching it on tv is good; begin a process of memorizing the liturgy with them since they can't read it yet. If you can get a copy of it made at your church to listen to at home, that could be useful in that endeavor; then they wouldn't be lost during the liturgy. We have materials that teach about the various symbols we use in our service; yours are not too young to start teaching what the different items in the Sanctuary are and their meanings, then when they are there, they can point them out to and be excited that they know what everything means. Children can comprehend so much more than what we give them credit for sometimes. Do you have some materials or other resources to help you teach this at home?

Also, during the message time, there are two distinct things that I have read of families doing; you can decide which age and child it would appeal to; one option is to have older ones draw a picture during the service of what the Priest, Preacher, etc. is talking about, using a "Just for services" sketchbook (basically early narrating); the other is letting them play with quiet items, like Bible pages for coloring during the message or Lauri type toys and/or Bible felts, for your tactile ones (they'll grow out of the need for it and they will still pick things up from the message). Just explain to them that when you stand to sing or do liturgy, it gets set aside for the time-bein'.

Reviewing and practicing ahead of time on what is expected at G-d's House is vital. Impressing early the Holiness of the place you're in and the attitude of respect that we offer to G-d by our behavior; He deserves our best. Not-to-mention the consequences made clear for misbehavior, whatever you find most effective. I know when our Rabbi has to say something to a child about behaving, they shape up quickly! If possible, bring them to your Priest every Sunday aferwards, so they can interact with him, telling him it was a good homely (sp?) and thanking them; that instills respect for his spiritual authority which reinforces good behavior while he's speaking, IMO. Also, lots of discussion afterwards.

And most importantly, pray with them and over them in the mornings before you go, for them to ask G-d for self-control and Blessings for the family, asking for help to give G-d Honor and thanking Him for what He's done for us; that we can come and worship and praise Him. I think praying with them beforehand can help get their spirits in line and their mindsets trained for joyful worship. It will require patience, perseverance and diligence, but the Spirit of G-d can fall on them, too and be a great witness for your husband as well. Satan definitely doesn't want your family worshipping together and loves to have your husband discouraged and wants him to find a reason not to go as it would weaken your family.

HTH, Rachel

Here's an article Answers in Genesis posted a while back with some great tips to help the family get more out of the Sunday service: Hearing Aids for the Whole Family. I don't agree with the bit about extra dessert in the "Talk it Over" point, though. That sounds like an unnecessary recipe for competition and conflict. The discussion and learning has its own rewards.

Sanveann - that is another good idea - we sort of did that too, we would listen to sermons (not every day, but here and there) and practice sitting still and quiet (our sermons were longer than most, so we needed some extra practice). The things I focused on at first were the things I knew happened every week - we talked about it during the week so they could anticipate it when we were there on Sunday. I think there is a big difference when they see it more as something they are a part of than something they just have to endure (especially for wiggly little boys!) Hang in there - it is a long an arduous process - but it does get better. Please let me know how it goes! 

Sanveann - that is another good idea - we sort of did that too, we would listen to sermons (not every day, but here and there) and practice sitting still and quiet (our sermons were longer than most, so we needed some extra practice). The things I focused on at first were the things I knew happened every week - we talked about it during the week so they could anticipate it when we were there on Sunday. I think there is a big difference when they see it more as something they are a part of than something they just have to endure (especially for wiggly little boys!) Hang in there - it is a long an arduous process - but it does get better. Please let me know how it goes! 

Mjemom, thanks for the great suggestions! Maybe even watching Mass on EWTN now and then would help a bit, too ... it might seem more familiar to them when we're at church.

No need to apologize, mjemom, my question was twofold!  I am most definitely curious about family worship at home, but I got on a tangent about church nurseries/children's church.  I really think I'm going to try to work them to coming into church with us... Maybe at the next class change (when they go up in age), I'll just make that the cutoff.

THANKS for giving me some specifics about what's in Terry's book!  Sounds like it's got a lot about a lot!  Sounding promising.

Sanveann, so sorry to hear that you are having a rough time - I really do know how that is. I thought of one thing that I have done with all of mine that helps a little. For instance, at our church we usually sing the Gloria Patri, the Doxology, do the Lord's Prayer, etc. I work with them on those things that happen each week. During church I will quietly whisper for them to listen out, such and such is coming up, and get them to look forward to what is coming next. Then I might whisper "do you recognize that?" and usually get a smile, and eventually they will participate in it themselves. That's just a little thing that helps them feel like they are a part of what is going on and not just a spectator. Thought maybe that idea might help? 

okay silly me - when I think of Family Worship (especially since I typed so much about it working for Terry Johnson) I think about time at home - I must have skimmed over the part about children in church! Since our children were born (we have a 5yo boy and twin 3 yo boys) we have gone to a church where everyone keeps their kids with them. The good part about that is that everyone is used to it so you don't feel so alone keeping them with you - the bad part about it is like Sanveann said above - that is what many Sundays are like. I will say that especially when our twins were babies I really wondered why I went in the first place, I would have to get up and nurse them during the service, someone would need changing, etc. - we did have a cry room with a speaker in it but as it is called a cry room, that is a lot of what went on in there so listening was almost impossible. I think I missed a good couple of years of church while my kids were babies. I will say though where we are now it seems ages ago that Sundays were so hard and I am thankful that my children sit in church with me - it is amazing how much they pick up on and can tell us about the sermon, even at 3 years old! The training/enduring it was worth it in our opinion. I would just encourage those of you who want your kids in church with you to keep it up - it can be rough but you will be glad you did. I do have other friends who went to churches that had nurseries/children's church and they would do sort of a compromise - they would start at about 2-3 depending on the child and keep them in an evening service and then work them up to the morning. Looking back, I probably would have loved having a break when my twins were babies, but for us, we always have felt the training for worship was easier because they never knew the difference (that playing with toys was an option) and worshiping together was just what we did on Sundays - it has been so sweet watching my children's love for the Lord's Day grow and see them look forward to worship!

As far as books, I am of course partial to The Family Worship Book by Terry Johnson. If you are looking for a catechism book, that book contains both the Children's Catechism as well as the Shorter Catechism. Other good resources in that book are: many Psalms and Hymns for singing (and a schedule for memorizing/learning them), various Creeds, bible reading schedules/records, scripture memory passages, selections of scriptural prayers, some great articles by Terry on worship and other useful topics, and some historical articles as well. Again, I think no matter how you structure your time at home (he gives suggestions - we personally do things a little differently) it is a fabulous resource to have. 

Again, I apologize for not reading your first question better!

Tandc, that must have been darling! :)

I think for the time being, I'm just going to try going by myself for awhile, or maybe just taking one kiddo at a time and leaving the other home with DH. Eli is really too little to be expected to sit perfectly still that long, IMHO, and Matthew has some sensory issues (I suspect -- he still has to get evaluated) that make it difficult for him to sit and listen or play quietly for just about ANY length of time. I don't really like going by myself, but it seems better than the alternative, which is two loud, cranky kids and a husband who resents going to Mass!

Sanveann, so sorry that it's rough!  I have to admit, I remember our early days with the boys when we were still Catholic.  Part of what made us "leave" the church was that we left more stressed than we got there!  It wasn't worth the effort for the results.  Does that make sense?    My girls really do well now though.  A change in me?  Training them?  Don't know.  They're 3 and 5 and will sit through 1 1/2- 2 hours of service!  

One of my most powerful moments recently was when I looked down at Shaoey and saw her singing her little 5 year old heart out during worship with her eyes closed and her hands up!  I burst into tears...  

I know this sounds counter-intuitive, but have you considered sitting near the front?  Think of how hard it is for us as adults to sit farther back and keep our minds on the service....  The first few times might be a bit difficult, but as they are able to watch and see and hear better, maybe they'll be more in tune.  When our girls come in with us, we sit in about row 5 so they have a good view.  Just a thought.

I'm Catholic, and since most Catholic churches don't have child care (or it's very limited), I've spent a LOT of time in church with very small children. And it's not always particularly awesome, lol! To be honest, I'm jealous of churches that give people the CHOICE to have child care or not. I don't think anyone should ever be pressured into it -- hey, if your kid will sit still for an hour or more, that's awesome, and I absolutely think they should be at services with you if you want them there.

But this is my usual experience at Mass with two rambunctious toddler boys: DH (who is not Catholic but goes with me most of the time) and I get there early to find a seat near the door in case anyone has a meltdown and we need to make a quick exit. Eli (20 months) wants to run up and down the pews and whines when prevented from doing so. Matthew (3 1/2) starts loudly demanding, "Go home? GO HOME?", usually during the middle of the homily. DH takes them out in the narthex (no cry room at our parish) and spends the remainder of the time there with them, trying to keep them from running around and screeching. Considering he didn't want to go to church that much in the first place, he's unhappy, the boys are unhappy, and I spend the rest of Mass stressed out about how the boys are behaving.

So, while I love the idea of all worshipping together as a family, in reality it doesn't generally happen that way, and I end up wishing desperately there was childcare!

Danielle, can you share what the first book is like?  Maybe a couple of examples.    

I wish I had known all this stuff before my boys, but I didn't...  We didn't become true christians until my boys were about 4 and 6 and didn't find CM until they were about 8?  I feel like I have been given a second chance with my girls.  I want to be able to start them from the beginning--relationship with God, catechism, church, Charlotte Mason... all of it!

I pray I can pass all this on to my children so that they won't be starting from scratch like my husband and me...